Veronica Millions vs. Sakura Ito
Kenny: Well, it looks like we have another excellent match the bookers set up for the Battling Ring Angels fans tonight. My statistics indicate that the upcoming match has generated just as much fan interest as the previous match. Pretty good, considering Peggy and Samantha are fan favorites.
Cari: Folks, this shows us just how misleading statistics can be. Both matches being compared are complete snoozers with complete losers. First it was the has-beens against the never-will-bes, and now it's a battle of twits, the Little Moron against Moronica Millions.
Kenny: That's the Little Mountain against Ver...
Cari: Don't correct me.
The lights in the arena dim slightly, as, over the speakers, Queen's 'Don't Stop Me Now' begins to play. As the first slow stanza ends, and the music picks up, a burst of pyrotechnics brightens the ramp. Out of the fireworks jogs Sakura Ito, known also as 'Chibiyama' or the Little Mountain, closely followed by her manager, John Nanakami, as well as both Janus and Lightning Lindsey Locke, the other members of the Threesome.
Sakura appears in prime shape, her thickly muscled body dressed in her standard ring garb, which consists of a strapless one-piece suit, with panels removed over the six-pack abdominals and chiseled muscles of the small of the back. The suit is coloured a bright white at the top and gradually shades off into a deep cherry-blossom pink by the bottom. Her well-muscled arms are bare, while her legs have pink kneesavers and short pink wrestling boots. John is dressed in a pair of black slacks and a grey sweatshirt, an airbrushed picture of a mountain peak and cherry blossoms scattering in the wind adorning the back.
The pair make their way down to the ring, Sakura taking the time to clap hands with any willing fans. Sakura steps through the ring ropes, while John, Lindsey, and Janus takes a position in her corner. She hops up onto the second turnbuckle and flexes both of her arms, showing off impressive biceps, getting an audible pop from the fans, before flashing them a sign of three fingers up. Sakura stretches out in her corner, preparing for the match.
Cari: Well, that took long enough! I still can't understand why someone with potential like Janus would want to hang out with all these other losers. I'd say Sushi Ito was destined to lose, but she's going against someone with much more experience being a loser.
The crowd starts to stir as 'Shimmer' by Fuel blasts out at full force from the loudspeakers. At the top of the entry ramp, the curtain parts and Veronica Millions steps out. Wearing low-cut gold boots and an extra large gold t-shirt with gold sparkles all over it, Veronica stands for a moment at the top of the ramp. She then takes off toward the ring, and as she does pyrotechnics go off all around her. She slides off the t-shirt to reveal a tight-fitting gold bikini, which shows off her curves nicely.
Kenny: Well, both wrestlers are in the ring, and it looks like they're about ready to get started.
[[Sakura steps forward and bows from the waist, as is the traditional Japanese custom to do prior to a physical contest. She then reaches out and shakes Veronica's hand, in the American sign of good faith.]]
Sakura: It is an honor to wrestle against you, Millions-san. May the best woman win.
[[Sakura then takes a step back and gets into a wrestling stance, as the senior referee Vicki Task takes a quick look at both wrestlers. Vicki puts one hand in-between Ito and Millions, raises it high in the air and points to the timekeeper to begin.]]
DING
Cari: Is that Task in the ring with them? I think I'm going to be sick.
Kenny: I know there's some bad blood between you and her, but you're both good at what you do, so why hold a grudge?
Cari: because that's what keeps me sharp, along with my endless supply of talent, of course. Task won't succeed in upstaging me now or ever.
[[The two wrestlers are circling each other, and they finally come together and lock up in the center of the ring. Ito effortly shoves Veronica backward, sending Millions forcefully onto her back. Sakura smiles out at the crowd and flexes her exquisitely chiseled bicep, eliciting rounds of loud cheers.]]
Kenny: The head official is probably just doing this match to keep her skills sharp, not to settle a personal score with you. Here's Sakura Ito showcasing her power.
[[Millions gets back to her feet and runs forward to once again lock up with Sakura. For a second time, the heiress gets deposited forcefully on her back.]]
Kenny: Ouch, that looked like it hurt. Sakura's over 70% stronger, so for Veronica to try to match strength with her is probably not too smart a plan.
Cari: Doesn't look to me like she has any plan at all. Or any talent. Or anything else, for that matter. Here's the Little Munchkin stepping forward, looks like she's trying to hook Millions up in some hold, but it's way too early and she's leaving herself...
[[As Ito tries to lock her legs, Veronica pops up and lands a forearm shot to the chest. She follows with another forearm, which sends the Japanese wrestler back a few steps.]]
Cari: ...open. Stupid kid, all those muscles must've killed off brain cells.
Kenny: Looks like the veteran is starting to mount a comeback.
[[Veronica cocks her arm back and steps forward for a third forearm, but Sakura ducks and dodges, sending an open-handed slap to the stomach of Millions. As her opponent leans forward from the blow, Ito spins behind, grabs her around the waist and hoists her into the air, holding her there for a split second. Outside the ring, Janus and Lindsay Locke both raise their fists in anticipation. ]]
Kenny: Or maybe not. A suplex? ...no! Sakura dropped Millions down across her knee in a backbreaker!
Cari: Looks like Tempura saw it coming just like the rest of us did, and was well prepared for the telegraphed maneuver. She slides Millions forward off her knee, locks her chin beneath her arm and squeezes on the sides. For the uneducated, the Japanese call this a dragon sleeper.
Kenny: Neat hold! But she's close to the ropes.
[[Millions does manage to lift one of her legs onto the bottom rope, and Sakura dutifully releases the hold.]]
Cari: Good form, but not too much upstairs. That's the kind of mistake I never made when I was a wrestler.
Kenny:Actually, my computer says... you... (he sees Cari staring at him malevolently) ...are ...very pretty.
Cari: (grinning) Smart computer.
[[Sakura lifts Veronica to her feet and whips her into the ropes. On the return, she goes for a clothesline but Veronica ducks underneath it. On the rebound, Millions tries a dropkick, which grazes Sakura's chin but does not completely connect. Both wrestlers go down, but the fresher Ito gets up first, while Veronica is still on the mat holding her hurt back. Sakura stops for a moment while the referee checks that there is no serious injury.]]
Cari: What is this crap! In my day we never stopped a match to see if somebody was hurt. If you were still breathing you had to continue. This place is going down the tubes. If not for the Sisterhood, do-gooders like Task would probably take this federation the rest of the way down.
[[Seeing that permanent damage has not occurred, Task waves for the match to continue. Sakura sees that Millions is dazed, and quickly rolls her up for the pin]]
ONE!
TWO!!
[[Just as the count reaches two, Veronica manages to get one of her shoulders up.]]
Cari: After that break, no way she was going to get a pin. They sure grow 'em stupid in Japan, don't they. Not like the good old U.S. of A.
Kenny: Well in fact, Japanese score significantly higher than Americans in science, mathematics and most other comparable subjects.
Cari: Who asked you? Geek.
[[Standing up by Veronica who is still on her back, Sakura grabs Millions' legs and locks them under her thick, muscular arms. Ito then leans back and begins to spin around, using the centripital force to lift the rest of her opponent's body into the air. Finally she lets go, dropping the dazed Veronica once again onto her back.]]
Cari: Okay, this match was getting old before it started, and now it's becoming just an unbearable yawn-fest. Somebody wake me up from my coma when it's over.
Kenny: I think it's great for a young up-and-comer like Sakura to get to showcase her talent against a top-notch veteran like Veronica, though it's true that Millions doesn't seem to be at her best.
[[Sakura brings veronica to her feet and measures her at close range, bringing her own head forcefully into Veronica's temple. Holding her steady, Sakura then tucks Millions' head under her arm and lifts her up into the air, holding her there.]]
Cari:(yawning) Yeah yeah, brainbuster. I know. Even monkeys can do something smart some of the time.
[[True to Cari's prediction, Sakura finally drops back, sending Veronica's head straight down into the mat. The entire ring shakes with the impact, and the thus-far subdued crowd breaks out in cheers. Sakura stands up and parades around the ring, pumping her fist in time to the chants of "1-2-3! 1-2-3!"]]
Kenny: I think everyone knows what's coming!
Cari: (monotone) yeah, triple powerbomb, whatever.
[[In the center of the ring, Sakura positions her knees on either side of Veronica's head, raising both fists in the air as the growing contingent of Ito fans in the audience cheer wildly.]]
Kenny: Ito grabs Millions around the waist and hoists her up... Ich! Ni! San! She just tossed Millions up and down like a rag doll! Three powerbombs in a row, and I think this one's in the bag.
Cari: Maybe it's in the vomit bag. After this match, I could use one.
[[With the ring still reverberating from the triple powerbomb, Vicki task drops down to count.]]
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING DING DING
Kenny: What a match by Sakura Ito!
Cari: It's not like she had much competition... oh, for goodness' sake, what on earth is that Japanese screwball doing now?
[[After waving to all of the fans, celebrating her victory, Ito goes to check on Veronica, who is still groaning on the canvas. Helping her fallen opponent to her feet, Sakura heartily shakes hands with Millions.]]
Sakura: It was a pleasure to fight you, Millions-san! I look forward to our next bout!
Cari: Good grief.
>>>>Winner by pinfall: Sakura Ito<<<<