Shanmon "Sharpshooter" Rourke vs. Patricia Flex
The usual large crowd is on hand to again witness the incredible display of artistry performed by the talented and dedicated members of BRA�s production team! Yes, the multi-talented yet unrecognized heroes who week after week tirelessly toil behind the scenes to support the �what? Oh! All right! The usual large crowd is on hand to again witness the incredible display of artistry performed by the wrestlers of BRA yadda yadda yadda! The precision scanning of the camera guided by a dedicated team of professionals alights with perfect timing to the announcer�s table below.
Cooley: �so the drunk says to the cop, �I can tell you just ate a donut by the glazed look in your eyes!� Hah!!
Kenny: Oh, I see! Donuts! Glazed look! Glazed donuts! Haha, yes, that�s very funny!
Cari: If there is nothing else, can we get back to the reason we are paid!
Kenny: Yes, a couple of rookies in the ring this match! Patricia Flex, who looked good despite losing to Gina Moore last week, takes on the newest member of the Cathouse, Sharpshooter Shannon Rourke.
Cooley: This will be so cool! Patty can flex for me anytime!
Cari: Maybe, but the only thing she flexed before the match was her mouth! Here is what she had to say.
�Rourke, Sharpshooter, whatever your name is. You talk of your military background; you�re training your preparation. You claim to know me inside out. If so, you know I�m gonna win tonight. Frankly, you're irrelevant to me, a distraction whom I will soon be rid of.
Hit Squad, I hope your watching this, cos when I�ve done beating on this poor sap, I�m coming for each and every one of you. Enjoy it. I know I will.�
The sound of Madonna�s �Material Girl� blares out across the arena and Patricia Flex strides out boldly from the curtains to the roar of the crowd. She waves to the faithful as; clad in her long blue leotard she makes her way barefoot to the ring.
Kenny: Patricia is a straightforward technical wrestler.
Cari: Who is not afraid to do something a little extra to win a match!
Cooley: I wonder what that little extra could mean for a guy like me?
Cari: About two weeks in hospital, if you�re lucky!
[The camera cuts to a shot of the American flag waving gently in the wind. Zoom out to a shot of "Sharpshooter" Shannon Rourke in full military gear standing before the flag with her right hand raised to her brow in a salute. "Panama" by Van Halen cues up as we cut to the arena. As the song picks up pace, the scene cuts to a shot through the scope of a sniper rifle as it shines a spotlight down on the crowds, searching.]
## Jump back, what's that sound? ##
## Here she comes, full blast and top down. ##
## Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue. ##
## Model citizen zero discipline ##
[The scene continues to pan around the screaming crowd through the view of the sniper rifle.]
## Don�t you know she's coming home with me? ##
## You�ll lose her in the turn. ##
## I�ll get her! ##
[The scene finally spots Shannon Rourke as she makes her way through the crowd. The scope follows her as she nears the ring.]
## Panama, Panama ##
## Panama, Panama ##
[Rourke jumps the guardrail and raises an arm to the crowd. They continue their chorus of cheers for her as she slaps fan hands all around the ring. After making a circle of the ring, she goes up the ringsteps and steps through the ropes. Again she raises a hand to the crowd. She smiles as pyros blow off from the stage and make their way down the aisle toward the ring. When they reach the ring, they stop as others erupt from overhead. As the music cues down, the big screen again shows a shot of the American flag. Shannon requests a microphone and is handed one.]
Shannon: Patricia Flex, this is nothing personal. But sometimes spoiled children need to learn that ... [in a singing voice] you can't always get, what you want!
[She hands the microphone back to the ring attendant.]
Kenny: For a rookie she sure makes an impression!
Cari: Let�s see if she can make one where it counts! In the ring!
Kenny: Oni Malvolio is ready to go, as are both wrestlers.
DING DING
Both wrestlers come out confidently and meet in the middle. Flex shows a modicum more speed taking Rourke down with and armdrag, but both women are back up in a flash. Flex tries to repeat the maneuver but is surprised as Rourke turns the attempt into a standing armbar. Flex screams and stomps her bare foot before taking a breath, then dropping and dragging Rourke over again.
Kenny: Quick start from both girls!
Cooley: You know if that leotard was, ooooh, say a size 6, Patty would look even better!
Flex locks her legs over Rourkes arm as both women lay on the mat, causing a lot of discomfort in the first timer. Malvolio looks in the face of Rourke but just sees defiance. Flex gets up, pulling her opponent up by the arm and whipping her off the ropes.
Cari: Dropkick from Flex, nicely done!
Kenny: The sharpshooter is rolling under the ropes to the floor! Smart move as Patricia Flex shows the early initiative!
Cooley: Think this would be a good time to ask her out?
As Rourke gets her wits back the lights go dim and suddenly the loudspeakers start blaring out a familiar tune!
Kenny: What�s New, Pussycat! That can mean only one thing!
Cari: Yes, they must have run out of geritol in the dressing rooms!
Cooley: Think Shannon likes to listen to house music? You know, maybe she�s more a rap sort of chic
The curtains part and striding down the ramp come Samantha Staffer and Peggy Christian dressed in their full wrestling gear and Cathouse jackets. They walk down and to either side of the ring. Samantha walks to Shannon and pumps a fist, passing a few words of encouragement to her as Patricia Flex shakes her head in the ring.
Kenny: A show of support from Thirtysomething for their new manager. Patricia Flex looks a little concerned!
Cari: I would be as well having those two old reprobates watching me!
Shannon takes advantage of the confusion to slip back in the ring. As both lock up Shannon gets Flex into a headlock and instantly hip tossing her to the mat. As Flex gets up Rourke grabs her head and drops her fast with a DDT. Pulling her up Shannon whips her opponent to the ropes and sends her flying with a springboard dropkick. Flex drops to the mat on her back groaning. Shannon shows a boost of confidence as both her stablemates whip the crowd up. Running she springs off the ropes and drops a knee down hard, but Flex rolls away at the last moment leaving Roarke to hit the mat awkwardly!
Cari: Too soon for that! She should ignore her friends and concentrate on the match!
Kenny: Patricia Flex saw that coming. She seems to have learned a lot from her first match! Shannon is rolling around in pain!
Patricia Flex gets to her feet, shaking off the effects of the DDT and getting to her opponent as she nears the ropes. She straddles Roarke�s back as her opponent tries to get up and wraps her arms vice like around Shannon�s head.
Patricia: Time to hit the showers sweetheart!
Kenny: Sleeper! Patricia Flex has the sleeper locked on! This could be it!
Cari: She�s close to the ropes, but she�s got her facing away! Roarke won�t be able to reach out!
Shannon tries to pull Patricia�s arms free, but she is showing visible signs of weakening as Patricia keeps the pressure on. Crouching behind her helpless opponent she snarls in her ear, �You�re just a pathetic grunt!� Referee Malvolio checks on Shannon, but is distracted by a noise from behind near the announcer�s table.
Cari: Samantha Staffer looks ready to climb the apron!
Kenny: No she won�t! She wont� cheat!
Cari: Malvolio wants to be sure! She�s giving her a warning!
Kenny: But she hasn�t done anything!
Suddenly a scream splits the arena and everyone turns their attention back to the combatants only to see Patricia Flex sitting by the ropes holding her head and Shannon Roarke crawling away.
Cari: Did you see that!! Peggy Christian pulled Patricia Flex off by her hair! I�m sure of it!
Kenny: I didn�t see a thing! I don�t think the referee did either! Anyway! That�s Peggy Christian! She would never cheat!
Cooley: That looks like it hurt, man!
Patricia Flex, her face red with anger turns her attention outside the ring. She glares at Peggy Christian who stands off with her arms up looking innocent.
Cari: Patricia Flex knows it as well! Look at her, she�s staring daggers at the fossil!
Kenny: It can�t be right! It just can�t be! There is no record of Peggy Christian ever cheating in the records! She�s just not capable!
Cari: She just doesn�t get caught!
As Flex leaves Peggy finally she turns but is greeted with a roundhouse kick from a groggy but recovering Shannon Roarke! Stunned, she falls into the ropes where the sharpshooter pulls her off and launches her to the far ropes.
Kenny: Hurricanrana! Flex goes down! Roarke is flying now!
Cari: With a little help from her friends!
Roarke follows up quickly with a springboard plancha. Flex can�t recover before Shannon again sends her to the ropes and drops her with a drop toehold!
Kenny: Lock and load! This one is in the history books!
Cari: This is just not fair!
Kenny: And over into the sniper!
Patricia smacks the mat in agony as the pain snaps her to life, but after about twenty seconds she signals to referee Malvolio.
DING DING DING
Kenny: Submission! It�s over! Sharpshooter Shannon Roarke wins her debut!
Cari: No one believes me, but she didn�t do it alone! Those two old-timers should not have been allowed near the ring!
Shannon releases the hold and gets up as the crowd raves and Samantha and Peggy climb in to congratulate her. Shannon extends a hand to Patricia but Flex just snarls and smacks it away! She glares fiercely at the three Cathouse members as they leave the ring.
WINNER: Shannon Roarke by submission