Thirtysomething vs. Kelly Mase and Skye Soaring Hawk (Tag Team Title Match)
[The camera pans the audience which is waiving homemade signs. The capacity crowd at the sold out BRA Arena is on its feet cheering for the next round of mayhem and madness. The camera stops at the announcers' table were Ken and Cari sits smiling.]
Ken: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
Cari: This match is guaranteed to be a snoozer. I give Thirtysomething thirty seconds in the ring with our current tag team champs, Kelly Maze and Skye Soaring Hawk.
Ken: You have to give Thirtysomething more credit than that. They have beaten two good tag teams in their last matches and are real contenders for the BRATT titles.
Cari: Neither one of them is as good individually as Maze and Hawk.
Kenny: You may be right, but they work well together as a team.
Cari: Some team. It has been all Samantha Stafford for Thirtysomething. Princess Pig has been in the fed longer but she still can't wrestle her way out of a paper bag.
Kenny: [Looking at his computer] My statistics show that Peggy Christian has improved a lot since her entrance into the league. She has more stamina and now knows more moves than she did when she first entered.
Cari: That's not saying a lot. She won her first matches by falling on people. If BRA had a Super. Heavyweight Title she would have won it because she is so much fatter than the other women. Miss Piggy would be the only one to qualify for it.
Kenny: Peggy carries her weight well. She is not all that heavier than the other wrestlers and her determination to stay in wrestling, despite the name calling and the loses, has made her a favorite of the fans.
Cari: Which fans? Those over fifty with dreams of what might have been?
Kenny: Those that like to see someone give it her all, even if she doesn't win.
[This argument is interrupted by the lights dimming and the Angeltron exploding to life with the words "Cathouse presents Thirtysomething" in bold bright letters before showing images from the teams last successful match. Tom Jones "What's New Pussycat" blares over the speakers heralding the arrival of Samantha Staffer and Peggy Christian wearing identical black jackets with "Thirtysomething" written on the back of them. Leading the two wrestlers to the ring is "Sharpshooter" Shannon Rourke. She is dressed in an elegant mid length black dress and heels with a minimum of makeup on her handsome face. Her silky brown hair is in a bun and her penetrating green eyes shine as she leads Peggy and Samantha to the ring. After they enter, the wrestlers remove their jackets revealing identical leopard print one-piece suits. Samantha wears her red hair in a single braid down her back and tall black boots. Peggy wears her hair loose and clear tights on her legs and white wrestling boots. They hand their jackets to Shannon as she pulls the two wrestlers together for a few last words before stepping from the ring. ]
Cari: I guess to even the odds Thirtysomething brought a third wrestler to ring.
Kenny: Shannon Rourke isn't going to wrestle. She has become the manager of the Cathouse wrestlers.
Cari: How can she be a manager? She's just a rookie.
Kenny: She may be new to Battling Ring Angels but she has been a wrestler for some time.
Cari: Cathouse needs a manager, but I don't think she's the one to make them any better. They need someone to show how to win at any cost.
Kenny: You mean cheat.
Cari: It isn't cheating unless you get caught at it.
Kenny: [Looking at his computer] It seems that a lot of your "win at any cost wrestlers" have been getting caught lately. I guess it is safe to say that they are cheaters.
Cari: I wonder how high that computer of yours will bounces if I throw it on the concrete floor of the arena.
[Kenny grabs his laptop protectively and decides to change the subject.]
Kenny: I wonder why it is taking Maze and Hawk so long to enter the arena.
Cari: Perhaps they have a surprise entrance planned for this match.
Kenny: They better do something soon. The ref is talking to the timekeeper and all eyes in the arena are looking toward the gates if heaven.
Cari: All except Thirtysomething and their new manager. They are huddled in the corner of the ring. Stafford and Christian are probably making sure that Rourke follows the instructions in their Wills to the letter. I doubt that either will be living at the end of this match.
Kenny: If Maze and Hawk don't get out here soon, there won't be any match.
[The camera shows the empty entrance way commonly called the Gates of Heaven.]
CLANG!!!
Cari: What the . . .
Kenny: Someone has just hit Shannon Rourke over the head with a chair. Shannon is lying on the floor outside the ring. It looks like she is out cold.
CLANG !!!
Cari; Stafford got the same treatment. She is lying on the mat holding her head. Who is that with the chair?
Kenny: I can't tell if it is Maze or Hawk from here the camera is moving in to get a closer shot.
[The camera zooms in on the intruder.]
Kenny: That's not Kelly Maze or Skye Soaring Hawk.
Cari: It's Gina Moore!
Kenny: What's she doing here?
Cari: Obviously beating up Stafford and Christian.
[The ref tries to get between Peggy and Gina. Gina pushes him and he falls through the ropes and onto the floor of the arena. Gina leaps and sends her heel into the stunned Princess' face knocking her into the ropes. Peggy stays on her feet and advances toward Moore. Gina kicks again but Peggy manages to grab her foot. She raises Moore's foot and causes Gina to hop on one leg. Peggy punches the back of Gina's thigh twice before Gina leaps and hits Peggy in the back of the head with a kick.]
Cari: Enziguri Kick has Christian sprawled on the mat.
Kenny: Moore grabs Peggy's foot and puts her in a step over toe hold.
Cari: Christian is pounding the mat in agony.
Kenny: The ref is back in the ring trying to restore order. He signals for the bell to end the match. Gina ignores him as she applies even more pressure to the hold.
[The bell is ringing constantly now but Gina shows no sign of letting up. The red tries to push her off Peggy. She lets the hold go and grabs the ref. She lifts him off the mat and sends him crashing down to it with a power bomb. The ref lies on the mat, not moving. Peggy gets to her feet and grabs Gina. She hits her once in the stomach, causing Gina to double over. Peggy puts her in a head lock and falls backward, driving Gina's head intot eh mat with a DDT. Peggy gets to her feet and checks on her partner. Samantha gets slowly to her feet, still holding her head. She leans in the corner, trying to get her bearings. Peggy has her back to Gina and doesn't see her get to her feet. Gina grabs Peggy and sends her up and over with a belly to back suplex. Peggy hits the mat hard and lays there stunned. Gina gets to her feet and begins to rain kicks on Peggy. Princess Peg rolls into a ball to try to protect herself. Gina continues to savagely kick at Peggy. Samantha's head has cleared enough to understand what is going on. She runs and leaps into the air driving her feet into Gina's back with a flying drop kick. Gina sprawls on the mat. Samantha grabs Gina and forces her to her feet. She sends Gina into the ropes and on the rebound, drops her to the mat with a clothesline. Samantha leaps onto the bottom rope and crashes down on Gina's head with a flying elbow drop. Samantha gets to the feet and jumps on the bottom rope again and delivers another elbow drop. This time it hits only the mat as Gina rolls away at the last possible moment. Shannon Rourke has recovered enough to get back on the ring apron. She sees Gina laying on the mat trying to recover from the elbow drop and Samantha rolling on the mat, massaging her elbow. Shannon climbs to the top rope and leaps off nailing Gina with a moonsault.]
Cari: Three against one. Now those are fair odds.
Kenny: Moore knew what she was getting into when she Pearl Harbored Thirtysomething. I think she is going to regret that decision.
Cari: I thought these goody-goodies would have the honor to fight her one on one.
Kenny: Gina Moore doesn't even know what honor is. I don't even know why she is doing this.
[Shannon brings Gina to her feet and whips her into the ropes. Gina reverses the move and on the rebound Grabs Shannon and Slams her to the mat on top of Samantha. Gina then goes to Peggy, who has gotten to her feet. Moore begins to deliver a series of kicks to Christian's midsection. Christian is able to block some but others get through, driving deep into her stomach and forcing the air out of her lungs. Peggy fights back and is able to land a few punches of her own, but Gina's kicks force Peggy into a corner. Gina continues to savagely attack Peggy as Peggy holds onto the ropes to keep from sinking to the mat. Shannon and Samantha get to their feet. They get to either side of Moore and take her to the mat with a double Russian leg sweep. Manger and pupil are both on their feet quickly. Shannon points to a corner and both of them drag Gina to it. Samantha lifts Gina to the top turnbuckle and seats her on it. Both Samantha and Shannon climb the turnbuckle and they wrap their arm around Gina's head.]
Cari: There they go again. Double teaming poor Gina.
Kenny: Poor Gina? She's the one that started this.
[The crowd roars it's approval as Shannon and Samantha raise Moore off the top rope and send her hard into the mat with a double top rope suplex. Moore lies on the mat. Even Shannon and Samantha are slow getting to their feet. Shannon goes to Peggy to check on her. Christian has slumped to the mat, only the turnbuckle keeping her from being laid out. Samantha stands over Moore, ready to bring her to her feet.]
Samantha: I don't know why you attacked us, but I am going to make you pay for it.
[Moore's foot strikes quickly. Driving up between Samantha's thighs and finding its target. Stafford's face contorts in pain as her hands got to her injured nether regions. Rourke turns to see what is going on in the ring. She sees the low blow and runs toward Moore. Gina slides under the ropes and runs toward the Gates of Heaven. Shannon is torn between punishing Moore or helping her fallen wrestlers. She decides to stay on the ring and help Stafford and Christian. Both members of Thirtysomething slowly get to their feet.]
Kenny: What cowardice. Moore sneaks into the ring and blind sides Thirtysomething, and then runs away before they get a chance to react.
Cari: I call that smart. She who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day.
Kenny: She wouldn't have lived long if she tried to stay in the ring with those three. Wait a minute! Moore hasn't left the arena yet.
[Gina Moore stands at the Gates of Heaven with a microphone.]
Gina: Princess Pig! Do you want to know why I did this? Do you remember when I first tried to get into BRA? I had a match to see if I had what it takes to be here. I was injured but I still fought. I had to fight some old cow of a wrestler that was never fit to be in BRA. Because I was injured, I lost that match. That old cow was allowed into BRA and I was not. I had to wait a month before I could qualify. That old cow is you, PRINCESS. When I entered the league as a rookie, you made fun of me and challenged me. I didn't respond then, but I am now and just proved that you were no match for me. Something I would have proved a long time ago if I hadn't been injured.
[Samantha Stafford is given a mic by a ring attendant.]
Samantha: Do you think you proved anything by this cowardly attack? Al you proves is that you are some kind of scum that has no business in a wrestling ring. If you want to prove who the better wrestler is, why don't you accept Peggy's challenge and fight her in the ring, in a real match not a sneak attack? Better yet, why don't you get a partner and fight both of us in a fair match?
Kenny: Yeah! You tell her Sammy.
Cari: Oh, shut up.
[Before Kenny can respond, the sound system comes to life with that sickeningly sweet fifty's anthem to love "Johnny Angel". The curtains part and out steps Johnny Angel. To the chants of "nerd" from the fans, Johnny makes his way to the ring. In his hand, he holds both the Tag Team Title belts. He is given a mic by a ring attendant as he trips over the bottom rope and falls into the ring. The commissioner clumsily gets to his feet.]
Cari: Great! What does this nerd want?
Kenny: Quiet! Remember he signs your paycheck
Cari: Which amazes me since I didn't know that he could write.
Johnny: Let me interrupt this little love fest for a second.
[The crowd quiets in anticipation of what he has to say.]
Johnny: I have some sad news for the fans of the Battling Ring Angels. The BRATT champs have been forced to resign from the league because of commitments they have.
Kenny: I'll bet Skye was committed to Dentonvale and Maze has committed homicide.
Cari: Shut up! This is important.
Johnny: So there will be no match for the title blet tonight. I was wondering what I should do. Do the fans want to see a new BRATT champ?
[The fans yell out all forms of yes along with some more shouts of nerd.]
Johnny: I just can't give the belts to Thirtysomething. All the belts have to be won by submission or pinfall. So I think to myself, what should I do? Then it hits me. If Gina Moore and Thirtysomething want to fight each other, why not let them fight for the BRATT title?
Cari: Does he mean tonight?
Kenny: The fans seem to think so and they approve.
Cari: But that is not fair to Gina.
Kenny: Gina started this. Now the commissioner is going to end it.
Johnny: I don't mean to have the match tonight. I mean to have it at the next PPV. Thirtysomething will take on Gina Moore for the Tag Team Title.
[Gina Tries to say something but her mic has been turned off.]
Johnny: Do you have a problem with that Gina? Do you think it is unfair not to have a partner? I agree! Now who should Gina have as a partner?
[The fans begin to shout out the names of their favorite wrestlers. Gina and Thirysomething wait to hear who the fourth wrestler will be.]
Johnny: Who should it be? Hmmmm. There is a wrestler that has been bitching about not having any matches. One that claims to be a great wrestler, even though her record shows otherwise. One that takes great pride in having been a two-time former BRATT champ. She I chose her?
Kenny: Who is he talking about?
Cari: Use your computer to find out.
[Kenny begins to punch the keys on his computer.]
Johnny: I think that is a great idea! Gina Moore's partner will be the rich bitch herself, two time former BRATT champ . . . Alexandria Parker.
[All the wrestlers seemed stunned at this decision. The fans react with loud cheers about it.]
Kenny: I can't believe this. Without any consent from Alexandria Parker, Johnny has just signed her to be Gina Moore's partner to fight for the tag team championship.
Cari: I think it is brilliant! Stafford and Christian don't stand a chance. I can't wait for that match.
[Johnny Angel steps out of the ring and trips over the bottom rope again. He falls to the floor dropping the belts and the mic. The crowd is treated to earsplitting feed back. Johnny gets to his feet and smiles sheepishly at the crowd as he picks up the belts. He walks out of the arena to the chants of "nerd" as "Johnny Angel" plays over the sound system.]
Winner: THIRTYSOMETHING by forfiet