Rebecca Deiwert vs. Princess Peg
Garry: (very excited) So I told him to him, "Hey, anyone would have mistaken your wife for a horse. She's got the perfect markings of-"
Sandra: Welcome back, sports fans. So far tonight, we've had a very exciting couple of matches. To recap, Sweet Misty won her first match in the league when Cyra Min was disqualified for assualting the referee.
Garry: Never mind the fact Sherry Ann interferred on Misty's behalf. Oh well, guess it pays to be someone's favorite, eh?
Sandra: What? (trying not to lose her temper) Okay, I'm just going to have to ignore you now. In our second hard fought match, Skye Soarking Hawk defeated the ever-popular Jenny "Cheerleader" Anderson.
Garry: (sadly) And not so much as a hint of exposed -
Sandra: So now we're on to the third match of the evening, about to get under way. Let's go ringside, shall we?
Announcer: Laaaaadies and gentlemen, may I direct your attention to the ring for our third bout of the evening. First, from Phoenix, Arizona, standing at 5'8" and weighing in at 125 pounds - Rebecca Deiwert!
(The lights turn purple as The Thunder Rolls blares over the loud speaker. Rebecca steps out of the entrance and acknowledges her fans. As she walks down she gives no high fives, however, but walks straight to the steps and into the ring, The look on her face is one of determination for the match at hand.)
Garry: (snorting) She doesn't look like a powerhouse to me.
Sandra: You shouldn't judge on looks alone. Large mass does not necesitate power. It's where you place that mass in the fight.
Garry: Sort of like implants, right?
Sandra: (jaw dropped and dumb struck)
Garry: (confused) Am I right?
Announcer: Her opponent this evening, from Edmonton, Canada, stands at 5'5" and weighs in at 155 pounds. She is Princess Peg!
(The Princess come down the aisle, a black silk kimono covering her up as far as her thighs as the strains of Tom Jones� �She�s a Lady� beat out behind her in the background. Peg waves to the crowd, a nervous smile on her face as she makes the journey to the ring for the very first time. She climbs the steps and enters the ring through the top two ropes, getting even more nervous as she feels the ring beneath her feet. This is it, no turning back now! She slowly climbs into the ring and slips off her kimono, revealing her teal and black one piece swimsuit, black tights and soft black leather wrestling boots.)
Sandra: Newcomer Peg looks to have a few butterflies in her stomach.
Garry: Naw, I'd say it's bon-bons.
Sandra: Do you have anything constructive to say?
Garry: Yes, I do. (yells) Don't you have any floors you should be mopping?
Sandra: (shocked) You pig! She's got as much right to be here as anyone else!
Garry: (matter of factly) No she doesn't. This isn't the Housewife Semi-Finals for the Golden Gloves. This is professional wrestling. It's very simple.
Sandra: You're a sleazy man, Garry.
Garry: (curious) But you want me, right?
Sandra: (trying to shake this off) Peg is in the ring and getting ready - but Rebecca dropkicks her from behind! How could she do that? She promised Peg a fair match.
Garry: And Peg was stupid enough to believe it.
(Peg slams chest-first into the turnbuckle, dropping her kimona. The bell rings.)
Garry: And Rebecca's started this match off right - violently! Rebecca throws Peg into the ropes and catches her for a perfect powerslam! Simply beautiful move.
Sandra: Maybe, but Rebecca's tactics leave a lot to be desired.
Garry: A powerslam's a perfectly legal move!
Sandra: You know what I mean. Rebecca pulls Peg to her feet and bulldogs the Princess.
(Rebecca drops to her knees and leans next to Princess Peg. Mockingly, she whispers, "Oh Peg, whats a matter? Did the princess not like that?")
Sandra: Rebecca foolishly taking time to mock her opponent.
Garry: It's only foolish if your opponent has a hope.
(Rebecca stands and walks behind Peg, who is rising to her feet. Rebecca sends a sharp kick into Peg's groin. The older woman yelps, and clutches herself.)
Sandra: The referee is warning Rebecca about her disgusting tactics.
Garry: Get him outta there!
Sandra: Rebecca laughs in the referee's face and grabs Peg by the hair - Peg punches Rebecca in the stomach! Rebecca didn't expect that one!
Garry: But she saw that one!
(Peg delivers another blow to Rebecca's stomch. Rebecca released Peg's hair, giving the princess a change to Irish Whip Rebecca, catching her with a clothesline. Immediately, Peg dropped to the mat and latched on Rebecca with a headscissor hold)
Sandra: At last! Some real wrestling holds!
Garry: What? Rebecca used holds.
Sandra: Not legal ones. Rebecca is struggling - she's reaching for a rope - and it's almost in her reach!
(Peg sees this, and rolls towards the center of the ring, keeping Rebecca's neck tightly in her legs.)
Garry: I must admit, Peg's turned the tables. Just proves I overestimated Rebecca's ability.
Sandra: The referee is checking for a submission, but Rebecca refuses. Peg's legs look like they're loosening a bit, but she's trying to keep them tight.
Garry: Rebecca's flailing and fighting pretty hard - whoa! What the hell?
(Peg squeeks and breaks the hold as Rebecca slams her head back into Peg's groin. The referee again warns Rebecca about such tactics, but she's too winded to listen. Slowly, she clammers to her feet while Peg rolls on the mat.)
Sandra: Can you believe that woman?
Garry: Oh, c'mon! She didn't mean to! She was struggling for air. Her body spasmed.
Sandra: Well, she's out to make Peg's body spasm now. Peg is standing, but Rebecca grabs her and puts her through a belly-to-back suplex. Peg's flat on the mat, and Rebecca goes for a cover! 1, 2 - Peg's shoulder goes up!
Garry: And does Rebecca ever look mad about that!
Sandra: She didn't count on Peg being such a fighter. Peg is trying to get up, but Rebecca rears back and administers a swinging neckbreaer!
(Rebecca twists and slams Peg back onto the mat. The larger woman falls hard like a ton of bricks, staring at the arena lights in a daze. Rebecca takes Peg's arms and pulls her to her feet. The older woman helplessly does so, to weak and stunned to do anything else. Immediately, Rebecca slams her foot into Peg's gut, doubling her over. Rebecca bounces off the rope behind Peg and leaps on the woman's shoulders, driving her face first into the mat.)
Garry: The Long Kiss Goodnight!
Sandra: And that's what it seems to be for Peg as Rebecca rolls her over and pins her. !, 2... 3 - it's all over for the princess.
(The bell rings. Rebecca triumphantly raises her arms, looming about Peg.)
Announcer: Your winner: Rebecca Deiwert
Garry: Well, Rebecca showed Peg who the better woman was, that's for sure!
Sandra: Or who was better at underhanded tactics. Now what is she doing?
(Gleefully, Rebecca drags Peg around the ring by her hair, despite the boos of Peg's fans and the referee's protests. Rebecca drops the woman in the middle of the ring and slaps on a camel clutch. Peg tries to fight out of the hold, but she's still too weak from the match, and slowly her body loosens as she gives up, fighting back tears from the pain. Rebecca lugs Peg towards the corner, propping her against the turnbuckle. She jumps from the ring and walks to a ring attendant holding a crown made of cardboard. Immediately, she rolls back into the ring and places the crown upon Peg's head. With that, she gives Peg a soft kiss on her chin.)
Garry: See? She gave Peg a kiss. It was all in fun!
(Peg stares dizzily at Rebecca, who launches a superkick across Peg's face. The princess rolls onto the mat, unconcious. Rebecca leaves the ring, arm raised like a champion.)
Sandra: (annoyed) All in fun, huh?
Garry: Well, it was fun - for Rebecca, anyway. We'll be back in a minute, folks.
(Fade.)