Maxine Holmes vs. Barb Harris
Barbara Harris nervously shifts in the ring waiting for the match that's about to begin. The big girl has a smile on her face, all be it a nervous one, as she bounces on the balls of her feet waiting for her competition tonight.
Kenny: Barbara Harris waiting in the ring and looking just a little nervous about her upcoming match.
Cari: Well Barbara Harris wants to be a wrestler in the worst possible way and that's exactly how she's going about it because tonight she's got "The Bad Woman From Corpus Christi Texas", Maxine Holmes.
"Hey, Hey What Can I Do" as performed by The Black Crows and Jimmy Paige announces the arrival of Maxine Holmes to the arena. The fans stand and turn to the curtain area as the woman known as "The Bad Woman from Corpus Christi, Texas" steps out. Looking cold and mean in a black leather vest over a black University of Texas Longhorns shirt, and black elbow pads. Her legs are covered by black leather chaps, each leg bearing half of a white map of Texas (such that if she brought her legs together her chaps would show a white map of Texas), worn over a pair of light blue Wrangler jeans and black knee pads. Her feet are clad in old school black "Cowboy style" Wrestling boots. She has a black Cowboy hat on her head and a bull rope draped over her neck, each side dangling over her vest. In her left hand she carries a branding iron. Maxine raises her right hand gives the crowd a Texas Longhorns salute (a closed fist, with the index finger and pinky extended out at an angle, bent to simulate the horns of a bull).
The Texan starts her slow walk to the ring, stopping along the way to exchange words with some fans, or just back a few down. Her solid physique, mixed with her bad attitude and branding iron, make her an imposing figure. One hundred and eighty two pounds of walking, talking graveyard destruction. She works her entrance, generating as much heat with the audience as she can before she reaches the ring.
Maxine scales the steps and enters the ring under the second rope. As she stands back up, she gives another Longhorns salute, this time adding a yell to it. As she finishes her last heat building moment, she walks to her corner and removes her hat, bull rope and places them in her corner next to the iron. Maxine removes her chaps and vest and puts them with her other items, before turning back to face the center of the ring and gets prepared for the match ahead.
Kenny: I wouldn't want to be in the ring with her. No siree bub.
Cari: You really are the king of dorks. Did you know that?
Kenny: Yes.
Cari: You did?
Kenny: No.
Cari: Ha! Gotcha!
******Ding*Ding*Ding******
At the sound of the bell, Barb and Maxine come to the center of the ring. Big Barb tries to dance around Maxine, looking for a way to lock up with the stronger woman. She moves in for a tie up and gets it, only to be pushed back into the turnbuckle by Maxine.
Kenny: Check out the strength on Maxine Holmes.
Cari: She's a big, bad Mama!
Shaking off the initial foray, Big Barb moves in for another tie up. This time she tries to use her size to work Maxine, but again Maxine pushes her off and into the turnbuckle. Barb tries to shake it off again, but Maxine is on her with a charge and splash that stands the tubby girl in the girl.
Cari: Ouch! Did that hurt fatty?
Kenny: Barb Harris is trying to live out her lifelong dream and she doesn't deserve to be made fun of.
Cari: Barb Harris' lifelong dream was to eat a case of Ring Dings at one sitting�and she did it last week.
Kenny: You're a caring woman. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
The crowd has been silenced. Barb is still reeling in the corner as Maxine sends a monster knee lift into her gut. This is followed up with a few more just like it. Each knee to her unprotected midsection elicits a grunt or groan from the big girl. To cap this assault, Maxine hooks Barb under the arm and steps out of the corner, flipping Barb and tossing her across the ring with a big hip toss. All Barb's weight lands hard on the mat and she bridges up, grasping at her back, her face etched in pain.
Kenny: There's an old school quality to Maxine Holmes.
Cari: Yep. That's pretty much how she beat on people when she was in the old school.
Kenny: Don't let Maxine catch you calling U. T. the "old school."
Cari: What? You�I�but�that's not�stop trying to cause trouble!
The only sound in the arena is that off booing, hissing and general dislike for Max as she walks to the fallen Barb and yanks her up with a handful of long hair. Maxine balls her hand slightly and sends a shot down to Barb's head. As usual, it's not alone as a few "sister" shots join it and soon Barb is reeling again, trudging around the ring with a hand on her forehead and another out for balance. The bent Barb is too much of a target for Max, who sends a big knee lift into Barb's well positioned face.
Cari: Boom! I think that shook the building! Barb falling down is like an Elephant dying�it makes a big thud.
Kenny: You know what? It's glandular. So I think you should show some compassion.
Cari: If by glandular you mean caused by Twinkies.
Kenny: Tonight's show is being brought to you by "Hostess."
Maxine slowly walks to the spot where Barb is rolling on the mat, a ball of pain and confusion. A few black boots land on her head, causing her to roll a bit more and try to escape�but there's nowhere to go. After this brutal stomping, Maxine grabs a handful of hair and yanks Barb back up. Glassy eyed and lost, Barb is clearly out of this match. She gets an Irish whip to the ropes that causes big Barb to slingshot off and back towards Max at a good speed. This increasing speed is stopped short and hard by a clothesline from Hell by Max that almost takes Barb's head off her body.
Kenny: Rio Grande Lariat!
Cari: Barb just got clotheslined right out of her boots! Maxine is a powerhouse in this sport�man I'd hate to be Mixie Locke and have this monster after me.
Barb is out cold on the mat. She's not even twitching as Maxine bends down and places a hand on her chest. The referee drops and slaps two before Maxine grabs a handful of the limp Barb's hair and yanks her head off the mat. This brings a big heel pop from the house.
Kenny: Oh come on! Leave this poor girl alone, damn it! Barb Harris has lost the match�that's clear. Maxine Holmes doesn't need to torture her.
Cari: She's sending a message to Mixie Locke and a anyone else who might want to get in her way. You don't mess with Texas.
Kenny: This is wrong! Barb is defenseless.
Maxine sets her opponent up for a powerbomb, but as Maxine brings her down, she twists her in the air and comes forward�catching the woman's head between her legs and the move ends much like a tombstone piledriver. It looks really bad and is not easy to do. But her strength and agility makes her able to maneuver her victim in the air. The crowd gasps in awe of the power and perceived nastiness of the move.
Cari: Wow! The Texas Screwdriver! That's got to be it!
Kenny: I hope so. Barb doesn't deserve to be put through any more.
Maxine bends down and places a hand on the chest of the spread eagle and motionless Barb. One, Two, Three and it's done. Maxine stands to a huge heel pop and extends her arm in a Texas Longhorns salute.
Kenny: That was total domination by Maxine Holmes. And what's she doing now?
Maxine walks to her corner and picks up her branding iron and rope. She gives a snarl to the closest fans before walking over to where the ref is attending to Barb. A knee forces the ref aside.
Cari: I love this part. Just watch.
Maxine flips her defeated victim onto her front and hog-ties the lady like she would a calf on the ranch. Then, with the branding iron in her left hand, she gives her Longhorn salute and places the iron on the flank of the victim, just below the leg loop in her bottoms of her outfit. The iron is inked, and does no permanent damage to the lady's body. But being branded leaves a permanent mark on the victim's pride. A final demonstration of victory by Maxine.
Kenny: This is totally unnecessary. What's she trying to prove?
Cari: It's only a matter of time before she does this to Mixie Locke. Just you wait.
When the branding is done, she pulls a can of "Skoal" from her vest pocket, takes a big dip and places it beneath her bottom lip. She looks down and spits the excess on the seat of her victim's bottoms and walks away�a final sign of disrespect for her vanquished opponent.
Kenny: "Somebody is going to put that woman in her place. That was totally unnecessary!"
Cari: `I beg to differ. If your going to make a statement, that's the way to do it. Maxine Holmes just served notice that she's not only here to mess up Mixie's career. She's here to mess up anybody that gets in her way."
Kenny: "Well, lets see how tough she is against one of Battling Ring Angels more experienced grapplers. Folks ,we gotta take a commerical break. We'll be right back with more great action"
(Fade to commercial)
(fade to black)
THE WINNER: Maxine Holmes, by pin fall