Garry: I am sorry, you know.

Sandra: Ugh. Garry, just forget it. If I had a nickel for every time you pissed me off . . .

( Sandra looks off camera. ) Sandra: What? We�re on? Sorry.

Garry: We are back for another exciting match, folks.

Sandra: That�s right, Garry. This promises to be wild! Two of our more colorful characters here at BRA will be going one on one, tonight.

Garry: Yeah, Lisa Dream and Alexandra Parker. These two have been trash talking all week and tonight is the showdown. ( Garry clasps his hands together and laughs. ) I can�t wait!

( Sandra looks up at the entrance ramp, and shortly the camera follows suit. A little bald man with glasses and an antiquated psychiatrist�s jacket, the type which is white and has the buttons down the left side of the body, slowly comes down the ramp. He politely smiles and waves to the fans. He even approaches one and autographs a program, even though the fan did not seem to request, leaving the fan puzzled )

Sandra: Who is that, Garry? He looks familiar.

Garry: ( squinting ) I know him. That�s Dr. Cosmo McKinnley. He runs that nut hut on the outside of town - Dentonvale.

Sandra: Well, ( she looks at Garry ) it looks like they finally came for you.

Garry: . . . ???? . . . ( He just stares at her, not knowing what to say. )

( Dr. McKinnley makes his way to the announcer�s table and takes a seat next to Sandra. He starts to pick up a headset. )

Sandra: Uh, Hello?

Dr. McKinnley: ( Looks at Garry and Sandra as he puts the headset on and flashes a wily smile. He has a pronounced and refined British accent. ) Good evening, Garry. Sandra. I decided to come down and give you some assistance. I am sort of the �manager� of a new girl. Plus, I always wanted to be on television.

Garry: ( Quite excited. ) Wow! A real doctor. Look Sandra - we�re in the presence of someone with a medical degree!

Sandra: Well, ain�t that great! Maybe he can prescribe you something for your obnoxious behavior.

Dr. McKinnley: Actually, Sandra, I was going to speak with you about these passive-aggressive tendencies you have toward Garry. It is the clear sign of a woman who feels a sense of gross inadequacy toward herself. A lack of empowerment. You are competing with him for attention that you so crave. In fact, by the standards delightfully set forth in my latest book ( priced at $34.95 at your nearest W. H. Smith�s ), Doing it the Dentonvale Way, I elaborate -

Garry: Ha! He is calling you a nut, Sandra!

Sandra: . . . ??? . . . (

This time it is Sandra who is speechless. She simply looks at the doctor, her mouth wide open, blinks and does not know what to say. )

Dr. McKinnley: Ah, well, it appears as if the first combatant is ready to enter.

( Just then the lights dim, the roars of the crowd go silent in anticipation and the entrance ramp explodes in pyrotechnics and fanfare. The curtain divides and Alexandra Parker stands there, confident. �She�s a Bitch,� blaring throughout the arena, gets a reaction from the crowd. There are jeers and there are cheers. One thing is for certain, however, they are excited. Alexandra comes into full view, her pink and black sports bra, bicycle shorts, and kneepads accent her curves, wonderfully. Rounding out the ensemble, are her infamous black boots with �rich bitch� written in pink script, along the sides. As she marches to the ring with great poise, her focus is shattered only by a child who has a sign reading, �Please give to Sincerely Understanding, Caring, Kind and Enthusiastically Romantic Selves.� Alexandra almost goes wild with anger. She rips it from the tot�s hand and rips it up, leaving him crying. )

Sandra: That kid didn�t deserve that!

Garry: Yeah, that was kind of mean! I bet that kid had that weird disease. I guess she won�t be invited to their next fund-raiser. Ever heard of that disease. Doc? �Child Onset Neuralgia?�

Dr. McKinnley: ( Rather confused ) Well, um, yes. Yes, I have. ( Then, quickly reacting ) In fact, we were considering opening up an entire wing at Dentonvale for just such a disease. Alas, we have insufficient funds. However, if that wonderful Ms. Laura Parker would be so kind as to donate funds for that cause, the Dentonvale Clinic would be happy to receive them.

( Suddenly the lights dim again, just as Alexandra Parker enters the ring and begins her warm ups. She seems upset with the sudden diversion of attention. )

Garry: It looks like there will be another exciting Lisa Dream entrance.

Dr. McKinnley: Ah, yes, I believe she calls herself �Perfection.� Clearly, an ego driven restraint that she has confined herself with.

Sandra: Could you speak English?

( Before Dr. McKinnley can respond, �Nookie� by Limp Bizkit begins to blast from the sound system. Huge letters appear on the Angletron, spelling out �DREAM.� The crowd jumps to their feet as the newest member of the beloved Body Shop is about to appear. Glitter falls from the ceiling and smoke pours from all directions. Lisa Dream appears, back to the audience, then she slowly turns around wearing her a black blazer and skirt combination. She arrogantly surveys the crowd, making her way to the ring. )

Dr. McKinnley: Ah, yes, textbook alpha behavior. I suspect that soon she will be sizing up her opponent�s worthiness.

( Sure enough, as if on cue, Lisa enters the ring cautiously and begins looking her opponent up and down. She strips down to a very revealing and tight white bikini. Alexandra begins to size Lisa up, as well. )

Dr. McKinnley: That outfits leaves little to the imagination. It speaks volumes about the woman. Perhaps what she secretly feels is lacking in ability she will decide to make up in sheer sexual desire.

Sandra: ( Shoots McKinnley a quizzed look. ) Um. OK. You�re the doctor. It looks like the girls are about to go at it. There�s the bell!

( Lisa raises her right hand, with the intent to have a match of strength. Alexandra immediately goes for it, thinking that the smaller Lisa will easily loose. At the last moment she realizes that it is a dirty trick, but it is too late. Lisa lunges forth with a kick to the midsection, causing Alexandra to double over out of shock. Lisa takes the opportunity to put Alexandra in an arm bar from behind and thrusts her into the turnbuckle. Alexandra swings from behind but Lisa cleverly ducks out of the way and delivers a nasty kick to the back. )

Dr. McKinnley: Ah, observe closely as the smaller woman uses her agility and cunning to fool and manipulate the larger woman into rather precarious situations.

Garry: Yeah, she is really doing a number on her!

Sandra: Boys, you may have spoken too soon.

( At that moment, Alexandra spins around, out of anger and rage of being tricked so soon and throws her weight into a massive strike against Lisa which sends her falling to the mat. Alexandra delivers three successive kicks to the head, with a cruel sneer on her face. )

Sandra: What do you think now, Doctor?

Dr. McKinnley: Well, my dear Sandra, the larger woman will use her obvious size advantage to dominate her opponent, but like most creatures, when the smaller creature is frightened and being cornered, they shall strike back with a furious vengeance. �Hell hath no fury,� you know.

Garry: Speaking of fury, look at this.

( Lisa is shocked when she tries to move but Alexandra has gotten to �Perfection�s� legs first. She has them both, one in each hand, and she drives her knee to the unwilling woman�s groin. Lisa screams in pain and Alexandra merely laughs. )

Alexandra: Do you even realize what a freak you are? I do and I am gonna send you back to the mortuary, you disgusting -

( While Alexandra was yapping and getting ready for another strike, Lisa has taken the opportunity to use the strength in her leg muscles to thrust her aggressor from her and into the ropes. Lisa jumps to her feet with impressive speed. Alexandra lunges toward her but misses. Lisa trips her as she passes, sending Parker to the mat, face first. Lisa starts delivering merciless kicks to the head. The official seems to be displeased with this and she prepares to backhand him but stops, merely giving him a dirty look, instead. Alexandra has taken this opportunity to escape a further kick and rolls out of the ring. )

Sandra: Alexandra appears to be trying to regroup and rethink her strategy. She should be able to dominate Lisa with her size advantage, as well as her knowledge of superior power bombs.

Dr. McKinnley: Be that as it may, the smaller woman has shown her tenacity, like a shrew when angered. I suspect that the gothic one will also have tricks up her sleeve. She reminds me of a patient we have who thinks she is Elizabeth Bathory, the Blood Countess of Hungary.

Garry: Ugh. That is creepy. Uh, doc, maybe you can use your knowledge of mental health with some of our girls. There is this one girl Viper . . . Do you still send people in white coats with giant butterfly nets?

( Sandra and Dr. McKinnley both turn and look at Garry as if he is the one belonging in an institution. )

Sandra: Anyway, it appears that Alexandra has gotten back in the ring. Both women are in opposite corners and have both come out swinging. Lisa ducks, but Alexandra was prepared for that. She caught her coming around the other way.

Lisa: Ack! Release me! You can�t touch �Perfection� in such a way!

( Alexandra responds with grabbing Lisa around the neck and throwing her to the mat. She then dives on the dark beauty, flailing her fists on Lisa�s head, face, and chest. Lisa begins to scream bloody murder then starts to cover her face. )

Dr. McKinnley: Interesting. What an unexpected development.

Garry: What do you mean?

Dr. McKinnley: You see, sir, the smaller woman has an obvious Achilles� Heel: she has a desire to protect her face above all else. ( McKinnley begins to write something down in a notebook. )

Sandra: No offense, Doctor, but all these girls are divas. Most of them protect their faces above all else.

Dr. McKinnley: Yes, but -

Garry: While the two of you are talking about cosmetic secrets, look at what�s happening. Alexandra has picked Lisa up by the legs and . . . power bombed her into the mat. Oh, that had to hurt. Now she has picked Lisa up and slammed her head in the turnbuckle. This is getting ruthless! I love it.

Sandra: ( whispering ) Any opinions on him?

Dr. McKinnley: ( whispering and smiling ) Yes. Actually, there is enough there for an entire conference.

( Back in the ring, Alexandra has really begun to dominate Lisa Dream. She is mocking her, asking if she is still �Perfection.� She whips Lisa into the ropes and catches her on the way back, applying a dragon sleeper hold quickly applying pressure. Lisa, however, uses her smaller size, to throw her hands behind Alexandra, on her head, then drops herself to the mat, cracking Alexandra�s jaw on the top of Lisa�s head! )

Garry, Sandra, and Dr. McKinnley ( simultaneously and recoiling in pain ) Ouch!

Garry: That looked painful.

Sandra: That IS painful, you idiot.

Dr. McKinnley: I told you the smaller one had a cunning spirit.

Lisa: ( getting to her feet ) �Rich Bitch,� huh? Deary, you are �Piss Poor.� On your knees, rodent, pay homage to me! I so rightly deserve it!

( Like some horrific massacre, Lisa has pulled the stunned Alexandra Parker to her knees, in the center of the ring and begins to deliver a series of blows to the weaker opponent�s head. She grabs hr by the hair, delivers one last blow and spits on the punch-drunk woman. Then, with mystifying grace, she brings Alexandra to her feet, maneuvers her way in front of Alexandra and hoists her up over her shoulder. )

Garry: Pay attention, doc. This move coming up is called the �piledriver!�

( Lisa slams Alexandra down to the mat on her head with a yell of satisfaction from the audience. )

Dr. McKinnley: I see why.

( Lisa turns to the audience as if she were a successful Roman gladiator, receiving the applause and adulation that she well deserves. She closes her eyes, throws her head back and outstretches her arms. Her own alluring ecstasy distracts her while Alexandra regroups and comes to her senses. Just as Lisa realizes that something is not right, she turns around, a look of utter shock on her face. Alexandra delivers a beautifully orchestrated kick to the stomach, sending Lisa flying out of the ring, landing on her back. Alexandra decides that no mercy is in order for the humiliation that Lisa has placed upon her. Alexandra goes to the ring apron and jumps from the side, landing an elbow directly onto Lisa�s shoulder. The official is screaming at them to both return to the ring. Lisa is too delirious to hear him and Alexandra simply ignores him. Alexandra attempts to grab Lisa but misses as Lisa uses the last bit of wits to get out of the way and stumble down the side of the ring. Alexandra takes chase. )

Sandra: These two had better pay attention to the official. They are gonna get counted out.

Dr. McKinnley: Oh, I don�t think it matters one bit to these two ladies. They are beyond that. The urge to destroy one another has set in. ( Dr. McKinnley leans back, folds his hands in contemplation and smiles. ) I see the rage in their eyes. I see the anger. This will not stop until total destruction has occurred.

Garry: I like the way you think, doc. You are a real stand up guy. Ooops. You better stand up!

( Garry is right. Lisa has come over and it is clear that she wants a chair. Dr. McKinnley is all too willing to comply. He smiles gently and offers the chair to her as if she were his date at a restaurant. Lisa grabs the metal chair, as Dr. McKinnley requisitions a new one from an official at ringside. Lisa runs at Alexandra with the chair, but being thrown out of the ring has impaired her judgement. Alexandra raises her foot as Lisa swings, sending the chair slamming back into the head of her opponent, knocking flat on her rear. She grabs the chair and begins a brutal attack on Lisa�s legs. Lisa howls in pain. As soon as Alexandra feels enough damage has been done, the official shouts one final time. Alexandra throws Lisa into the ring with a look of determination. A look of destruction. A look of finality. )

Garry: It looks like Alexandra intends to end this thing.

Sandra: Lisa may have all fight taken out of her.

Dr. McKinnley: Oh, trust me, the small woman will find a way to extend this.

( As the commentators have been speaking, Alexandra has placed Lisa in the dreaded figure four. The official asks Lisa if she submits to which her only response is a flurry of foul language, either at the pain or at the mere thought that �Perfection� would submit. Alexandra is clearly becoming frustrated, however, she continues to apply pressure to the smaller woman�s legs. )

Alexandra: Submit, bitch, or so help me I will break your damn legs!

( Then, with great determination, Lisa manages to extend her arms far enough, while Alexandra is taunting her, and grab her by the hair. Before the official can warn her about this, Lisa has reached up and delivered a head-butt on the unsuspecting Alexandra. The shock causes Alexandra to loosen, which allows Lisa just enough time to escape the painful hold. Lisa slowly crawls away and is trying to get to her feet. Alexandra screams in frustration and runs over, beginning to deliver a series of blows to the stomach. After five sharp blows, she hauls Lisa up by her hair and hurls her into the ropes. Alexandra sets Lisa up for a drop kick, but before Lisa can fully rebound, she falls down by the ropes, not out of tactical cleverness, but out of exhaustion. Alexandra is left on her back wondering what went wrong. )

Dr. McKinnley: Ah, you see, Garry, the smaller woman, �Perfection,� has used a tactical advantage.

Garry: Doc, the girl fell down because she can�t move anymore! You don�t know anything about this business!

Dr. McKinnley: But, Garry, I know volumes about human nature and the way the mind calculates.

Sandra: Well, whatever you are thinking, Doctor, Lisa is doing something.

( Lisa has made her way to one of the turnbuckles where she appears to be getting her breath. However, she turns her back to Alexandra, ever so slightly and begins to unravel the protective covering on the metal. As soon as she is finished with the underhanded deed, Alexandra has gotten up and lunges for Lisa. However, Lisa, expecting it, takes Alexandra back down with a spear, which immediately illicits awe-inspiring gasps from the crowd. Alexandra is dazed. Confused. Where was Lisa getting this second wind? Lisa, while not having the upper hand, takes a gamble by lifting Alexandra up and throwing her into the cover-less turnbuckle. As she goes, Alexandra braces herself on the corners of the ropes. However, it is not enough for the force that impacts her when Lisa tags her from behind. Lisa immediately grabs a handful of Alexandra�s hair and begins brutally smashing her head into the metal turnbuckle. )

Dr. McKinnley: You see, the smaller woman has now resorted to rather nasty and brutal tactics to get her opponent down to her level. If her own strength has been weakened, she may as well smash her opponent�s, as well.

Sandra: You certainly do have some perceptions, Doctor.

Dr. McKinnley: Well, Sandra, I am training my own little athlete, you know.

( At this point, Lisa has delivered ten blows to Alexandra�s head, via the turnbuckle. Alexandra is dazed, to say the least. There is blood coming down her forehead and getting into her eyes. The crowd roars with approval. )

Dr. McKinnley: You see, it is all about giving the crowds the sufficient bread and circuses that they crave.

Garry: Lord, this looks like it might be the start of a serious rivalry!

Dr. McKinnley: Yes, �Perfection� has now tasted blood, as it were. She will, like most creatures, go into a frenzy at the thought of destroying her opponent. As I said, I can see tenacity in her eyes.

Lisa: I suspect that now you are regretting signing a match against me. You are nothing in comparison to �Perfection!�

( With Alexandra stunned, bloody and delirious, Lisa takes the opportunity to throw her opponent to the middle of the mat with a painful fireman�s backdrop. With Alexandra not moving, Lisa ascends the top rope, sending the crowd cheering with anticipation. Lisa extends her arms and prepares to jump. )

Sandra: Good Lord, she intends to end this here and now!

Garry: ( Covering his eyes but slightly peeking ) Oh, this is gonna hurt!

Dr. McKinnley: ( Standing dramatically and looking on with awe ) The smaller woman takes her greatest advantage - skill and agility - and prepares to snuff out the life of the larger foe!

( Before she jumps, Lisa blows a kiss to the crowd, bumps and grinds, then thrusts herself from the top rope, in a beautiful Moonsault. )

Garry: Amazing! The perfect splash!

Sandra: It�s over!

( When Lisa lands on Alexandra�s chest, the fallen opponent lunges up in obvious pain then falls back limp. Lisa covers Alexandra, resting her back on Alexandra�s chest. As the official slams his hand down three times, in succession, Lisa counts with him, shooting one finger in the air at a time until �three� is counted. )

Garry: Its over! Lisa wins!

Dr. McKinnley: ( smiling ) As I predicted.

( Lisa stands triumphantly and waves to the crowd. She is somewhat shaken with the own pain and suffering she has gone through and stumbles as she waves. However, she is not content with simply leaving. She turns to the fallen Alexandra with a menacing glance. She is on the verge of unconsciousness. She stands over Alexandra, gyrating herself, adding humiliation to the woman�s defeat. After the crowd cheers, she leaves the ring, headed to the locker room. )

Garry: Thanks for joining us, Doctor. You really added some flavor to an otherwise dull event. ( He looks at Sandra. )

Sandra: Yeah, thanks, Doctor, it was a different experience.

Dr. McKinnley: ( getting up and smiling to Garry and Sandra ) Yes, it was a pleasure, I will be certain to drop back. There are several individuals whom I would like to interview for my case files. That �Catwoman,� for instance. At Dentonvale we have a patient who thinks he is �The Riddler� so perhaps she could offer me some insight.

( As the Doctor leaves, the camera fades out, and the ad which follows is a rather irritating video game ad, which the audience knows they have seen before. )