Alexandria Parker vs. Malibu
Match by: Lord Pumpkin
(As the high powered cameras returned from their blackened states to those of shining brightly upon the crowd, BRA theme music pumped through the arena. Thousands of fans, gathered for the excitement of the sport jumped to their feet upon sensing that they were on camera. Brandishing signs and banners and t-shirts, each one of them contributed to the windfall of money that poured into BRA coffers. And that was what it was all about. Women, although some interested in the challenge, also were putting their bodies on the line each work for the holy dollar. The few that did not do it for the large contract money had something more precious at stake � their egos. However, the powers- that-be, sitting atop a mountain of money, smiled somewhere, knowing that the more pleasurable the fans were, the more the piles of money would grow. As the cameras panned down to the erstwhile announcers, Kenny Harbor and Cari �the Brat� Trammel, both had their usual air about them � Kenny with his boyish smile and laptop opened, and Cari with her sassy smirk, like an arrogant diva, surveying her subjects. The members of the audience behind them went wild upon seeing that the cameras were on them. They waved their hands, made faces and screamed with excitement, until Cari turned around and with a glance that could kill a man at thirty paces, silenced them all, knowing that any threat she made would most certainly be followed through upon. However, all smiles, she returned a cute but sassy glance to the camera, prepared for another match.)
Cari: Blessed you are, America, as you get another fine match from our BRA wrestlers, but you also are graced by having my lovely voice at ringside.
Kenny: Truer words were never spoken, Cari, at least insofar as the matches are concerned. Tonight, two spitfires go toe to toe, climbing up the ladder of BRA success.
Cari: Spitfires? Well, Alexandria Parker more than qualifies as a mistress of the ring, but I would hardly call this �Malibu� a spitfire. She makes me want to spit-up, maybe . . .
Kenny: What do you have against Malibu?
Cari: Aside from the fact that she is a cheap copy of me?
Kenny: Oh hush! That is not true.
Cari: Fine, then. She�s a skank with as much class as a stripper�s understudy.
Kenny: Where do you come up with these?
Cari: Remember, I was the queen of the last fed I was in. The locker room was where I reined supreme. I heard it all and even had to beat down some of my own stablemates that got out of line. NOBODY tangled with me. Nobody mastered deception and trickery like me. Snide comments are just one part of the head games, Kenny. Of course . . . now I am reduced to this . . .
Kenny: At least you are not reduced to your friends� levels who come on here sell their perverted comics and videos.
Cari: Oh, by the way, Catty �Catscratch� Clemmons � my friend and former Catfighting Champion � wanted me to thank everyone who called in orders for her videos. I think it managed to pay for the damages Viper and Sasha made to her Jaguar.
Kenny: Oh. Great. I am SO happy that we at BRA could help out her financial situation.
(Kenny and Cari are drowned out with the activity of the Angeltron. The crowd turns its collective attention towards the dominating videoscreen. The Angeltron comes to life, flashing in large silver letters, RICH BITCH.' Pictures of Alexandria Parker destroying opponents flash onto the screen, showing some of her greatest moves, concluding with a montage of her scowling at 'fans', smashing the infamous mirror over the head of an opponent and finally winning the tag title. An explosion occurs from the back and fireworks are the next visual treat as Da Baddest B*tch by Trina blast over the arena speakers . Heat pours over the first few rows by the ramp as Alexandria and Miss. Vanity stand poised with the tag title held high in the air by Vanity. Miss Vanity wears red pumps and a form fitting mini dress. Alexandria's wrestling attire consists of a red, skintight cat suit with matching stiletto heels. Her fire red hair falls dangles down her back in tiny straw curls. Walking with them is Alexandria's fellow Sisterhood member, The Twilight Zone Jennifer Christian. Alexandria and Jennifer talk last minute strategies as they walk to ringside, Miss Vanity winking at a few male fans. As Alexandria enters the ring, Jennifer and Miss Vanity shout words of encouragement.)
Cari: Ah, now these ladies have class, Kenny. These ladies certainly know how to present themselves. Traveling in grace and style. Alexandria with her little entourage and Jennifer clearly giving support to the senior member of the team. This is how a stable should behave.
Kenny: Yeah, but at the same time, does it not show a certain amount of cowardice? Does it take all these people to show up with Alexandria for one match?
Cari: Nonsense! You see, the Sisterhood has enemies everywhere. You can never be too careful. Ever since the retirement of the founding member � with whom I had an intimate talk to recently �
(Cari is cut off by the action at the top of the ramp. The pyro sets off just after the opening sounds of Malibu�s adjusted entrance music � �Save Yourself� by Stabbing Westward. From the backstage area strides the beautiful, buxom, blonde known as Malibu. She�s dressed in her traditional wrestling attire � a red, slightly low cut, one-piece bathing suit with racer-back straps as well as a �three fourths� cut back. Now, one would notice, that she now also wears white, transparent, almost-nude-colored tights underneath the bathing suit, covering her legs. She is also wearing red wrestling boots with white laces. She stops just at the entrance area placing her right hand above her eyes, looking out into the crowd, sort of emulating a lifeguard, while her other hand rests on her hip. Then, fluffing her hair a bit with one hand, she moves towards the ring. Using the steps to gain entry, Malibu steps between the top and middle rope, moving to her corner to jump onto the second rope. There, she raises her arms, fists clenched, high in to the air with an excited yell just before she smiles. Then, with a smile still gracing her face, she adjusts the back of her suit with her index fingers before jumping down from the ropes. Then, she turns, leaning in the corner, awaiting the opening bell.)
Cari: And may I add, VERY low class . . . ?
Kenny: The fans seem to like her. She is a bit of a free spirit.
Cari: Ha! EVERYTHING is free there, from what I understand . . .
Kenny: My Lord, LOOK at the way Alexandria Parker is staring Malibu down! Its clear that Parker hates this woman.
Cari: Yeah. Makes two of us, Kenny . . .
(As the bell rings, Parker looks out to the crowd, screaming some obscenities over their poor choice in fashion apparel. Malibu, wasting no time, charges forward, locking up with the redhead with a collar and elbow tie up, yanking the redhead into a side headlock. The action, too fast for Alexandria, has her thrashing about, screaming a long strong of insults at her blonde opponent. Reaching back, the wily and vicious veteran of the ring, locks both arms around Malibu�s waist, hoisting her up in the air and slamming her back down to the mat. However, as she falls, Malibu refuses to release, bringing Alexandria crashing down to the canvass, headfirst.)
Kenny: Amazing display by the blonde, don�t you think, Cari?
Cari: Hmmm? I wasn�t really watching. I had some trading to do on eTrade. I do appreciate your laptop being out here.
Kenny: Hey! That is for pure research purposes only!
Cari: I know. I was researching my stock in my military defense contracting holdings.
Kenny: Give me that!
Cari: By the way, Kenny, what is �Spank Me Dot Com?�
(As Kenny yanks his computer back, blushing, the action continues in the ring. Malibu rises, rubbing her rear from the impact with the canvass. Alexandria is rolling about, trying to get her bearings back after being hit on the head. Jennifer and Miss Vanity are yelling words of support to their accomplice. Malibu bounces off the far ropes and flies towards the big redhead, kicking her in the chest, forcing her to land on the canvass, amid screams of the crowd, approving of the attack against the diabolical Alexandria Parker.)
Kenny: Are they cheering for Malibu or against Alexandria?
Cari: Hard to say. Alexandria � in my opinion � is one of the most diabolical creatures inside of BRA. Without question, Kenny.
Kenny: Yeah, I know. She took scissors to my favorite tie once, calling me a �fashion cripple.�
(Malibu quickly springs to her feet, waiting for Alexandria to do the same. The redhead staggers up, growling and fussing, but Malibu�s speed proves to overwhelm her. Within seconds, Malibu pulls off a belly to back suplex, much to the amazement of the crowd, and to the chagrin of Alexandria. Jennifer and Miss Vanity each look at one another with gaping mouths in disbelief. Malibu leaps up, smiling as the flashing lights from cameras click all around her, as Alexandria tries to make her way to her feet. Reacting quickly, Jennifer Christian leaps upon the apron, directly in Malibu�s line of sight.)
Cari: Now this ought to be interesting.
Kenny: Yes, you might say it�s the blonde leading the blonde.
Cari: Actually Kenny, I hate to admit it but that IS sort of funny . . .
(Malibu bounces off the far ropes, prepared to deliver an elbow to Jenn Christian, but Alexandria comes to life, spitting venom and anger, as she spins her body around on the canvass, driving Malibu�s head into the mat. The blonde�s head bounces off the mat, shaking the ring with authority. Alexandria, rising like a ghoul from the grave, casting a shadow over the prone Malibu. With a sneer, she drags the back of her hand across her nose, quickly checking for blood. Straddling the blonde from behind, she places Malibu is a face lock, stretching and growling, quickly bring up her foot and driving into Malibu�s back. The blonde howls in agony from Alexandria�s vicious assault, now on two areas � her face and her back.)
Kenny: Good Lord! Check out the power from the redhead! She has GOT to be one of the strongest women in BRA!
Cari: Yeah, maybe. But I have accomplished more in my day. Although, Alexandria would have provided for an interesting understudy. Besides, not too many of the women in BRA are that strong, anyway. Maybe Ito or someone. But she has enough problems where her superior strength hardly makes up for it. Besides, when I was in the ring, I was flawless.
Kenny: (sarcastically) Is there anything you DIDN�T do?
Cari: (smirking) Yeah. Lose.
(In a desperate move, Malibu thrusts her arms back and above her head, latching her hands around Alexandria�s neck. The two struggle in this most unusual position until Malibu feverishly rocks her body back and forth, tossing the lankier redhead off balance and they both fall to their sides on the canvass. With agony still printed on her features, Malibu does her best to climb to her feet. Alexandria, taking less of the shot, immediately gets up, and scoops up the struggling blonde, slamming her on her back onto the canvass, shaking the ring.)
Kenny: Did you hear that, Cari!? That was with some serious authority!
Cari: Absolutely, Kenny. As I said, Alexandria is tough and mean. Maybe not the sharpest knife in the box, but she has others who do the thinking for her.
(Alexandria follows through with a leg drop, crushing the throat of the blonde. As the redhead�s long, luscious and well-toned leg comes down hard across Malibu�s neck, the blonde squeals in pain, hands racing to her neck, thrashing about, coughing. However, she manages to mount a small offense, kicking out both legs and locking them around the redhead. Before Alexandria can react, Malibu has shaken her foundations, bringing her off her feet with a slam. Alexandria screams out in sharp pain as her back, already hurting from being thrown into the ringpost, connects with the mat. Malibu still has here legs locked around the redhead�s ankles and refuses to let go, knowing that it would be total disaster for the redhead to get up at this point. Alexandria manages to sit up and reach her long arms down to Malibu, seizing a handful of blonde hair. Malibu shrieks and the official comes over warning the redhead about the hair. Alexandria releases, but not before swinging out. In a surprise act, Malibu counters and blocks. She swings back, socking Alexandria in the jaw, momentarily stunning her. As Malibu delivers a solid attack to the abdomen, Alexandria groans. But the sheer will of her vile personality comes through as she swings her other arm, connecting with the side of Malibu�s head. The strength of Alexandria is apparent as she connects with such force that it knocks Malibu back to a prone position. The diabolical redhead gets up and gestures for a microphone from a ringside announcer. Immediately, Miss Vanity approaches him and snags it away from him, tossing it to Alexandria. The redhead sweeps over to Malibu and bends down, seizing her by the hair.)
Alexandria: You think you can get into the ring with me?! You think you can just waltz into this organization and get a simple win over me!? ME!? I am Alexandria Parker and-
(In a surprising move, Malibu jolted her foot up, landing it in the redhead�s crotch, cutting her off with a scream. Alexandria collapses on top of Malibu, but before they can make contact, the blonde rears back her leg and pumps, tossing the redhead across the ring, groaning and swearing so much that it appears to be one long beep from the censors. As Malibu takes a short breather, she notices that the evil glare on Alexandria�s face has just gotten worse.)
Kenny: Alexandria Parker is a certifiable psychopath, Cari. She is nuts! Look at that evil woman!
Cari: Yes. It�s a wonderful thing, Kenny. Simple wonderful. Sort of makes me, well, emotional . . .
(The crowd comes alive when Malibu gets up and sets her sights on Alexandria slowly coming to her feet. The blonde leaps to a crouching position and springs across the ring, driving her shoulder into Alexandria�s abdomen, crushing the larger woman into the ringpost. Alexandria�s eyes bulge out as the wind is forced out from her lungs. Again Malibu drives her shoulder into the redhead. Alexandria desperately tries to swat down at the blonde but her shots do not come with their usual force. Like a rabbit, Malibu mounts the second rope, clinging to Alexandria�s red hair and flips backward, landing on the canvass, but sending the redhead across the ring, landing face-first to the canvass. Barely pushing herself up then collapsing back, the exhaustion is clearly a factor with the redhead. Malibu races up, like a champion and mounts the top rope, ready for a splash. Sensing the disaster at hand, Jenn Christian jumps up to the apron of the ring and vigorously shakes the ropes, putting Malibu off balance, sending her to the ring, but not in the way that she had hoped. The evil sneer on Jenn�s face is hardly affected when the official begins chastising her for her actions. Miss Vanity merely claps approvingly with the act, turning her attention to Alexandria and slamming her hands on the mat to encourage her to get up.)
Kenny: Typical Sisterhood interference, Cari. Do these women ever keep their hands to themselves?
Cari: Do you count each other boyfriends? Hmm. Even still . . .
(With a renewed ferocity, Alexandria stands up, looks around, and sees Malibu clutching her knee on which she fell. With one hand, she desperately tries to massage the pain out of her knee, while her other hand is on her forehead, looking like a Shakespearean actor, describing the horrible melodrama from Hamlet. With an unsympathetic growl, Alexandria approaches Malibu and picks her up from behind, dropping her to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. Malibu�s body bounces off the canvass, clearly shocked by the redhead�s actions. Alexandria jumps up, thrusting both arms in the air looking like a victorious fighter. Spitting at a fan, she cackles like a maniac before turning back to the blonde. As Malibu tries to steady herself, the redhead goes for another one of her ruthless power moves. She wraps her long arms around Malibu�s waist and again drops her to the mat with a spinebuster. Malibu screams and winces in pain from the sudden impact. The crowd, wanting to see more from the blonde, tries cheering her on. However, their cheering has the effect of driving Alexandria into a frenzy of angered finger gestures and obscenities directed towards them. The redhead slams her boot down on Malibu�s head in anger of the fans� support of her. Throwing a tantrum in the ring, Alexandria can�t believe how much they seem to hate her.)
Kenny: This is disgraceful! Alexandria Parker claims to have a wealthy upbringing with grace of the upper class. And she acts like this? Hardly a southern belle.
Cari: Be careful what you say, Kenny. She might just ring YOUR bell.
(A gulping Kenny turns his attention back to the ring where he sees Alexandria pick Malibu up and seat her on the top rope. Facing the blonde, Alexandria mounts the second rope and begins hammering away her massive shots at the blonde. An uppercut then a side shot from Alexandria seems to knock the blonde silly where she sits. Small trickles of blood fly from above Malibu�s eye as her head goes from one direction to another, her hair whipping around her head. But she is in dire straights, desperate for a counter-attack. Out of the need to survive, Malibu kicks out her foot, landing a shot between Alexandria�s breasts, causing Alexandria to scream out with angered breath. Malibu delivers a sharp backhand, echoing through the arena. With red marks on her cheeks and a trail of blood by her eyebrow, she seems to have adrenaline pump through her body from anger, desperation or simply the will not to lose. As Alexandria rears back her fist to deliver her nasty punch, which would surely put Malibu out, the blonde puts both hands on top of Alexandria�s head and with a rapid motion, drives her knee up while pulling the redhead�s face down. The snap of her neck and the sound of her head against Malibu�s knee impacts sharply. Alexandria�s hair flies backward while her head cracks against Malibu�s knee, sending her off he ropes and onto her back, landing on the canvass. With a wobbled step, Malibu jumps from the ropes and forms a splash onto Alexandria. She lands on the redhead with heightened velocity. Alexandria, who may well be unconscious, only moves as much as the rippled effect of her stunned body. As the official jumps to the mat, counting to three, Jenn and Miss Vanity have clearly seen enough. The jump up and race into the ring.) Kenny! No! No! No! Foul!
Cari: Ah, birds of a feather . . .
(Jenn and Vanity race to Alexandria, kicking Malibu off. The official, furious that they would do such a thing, turns to call for the bell. However, Miss Vanity beats him to the punch � so to speak. Taking her handbag, she slams it on the back of his head, causing him to crumple to the mat. Jenn delivers an enziguri kick to the blonde, catching her in the mouth. The kick snaps back the blonde�s head and she rolls off of Alexandria. The crowd, loudly booing and throwing cups, indicate their extreme displeasure. Like vultures, Miss Vanity and Jenn converge on the blonde. Vanity holds Malibu while Jenn slams her fist over and over into her hated rival. Alexandria sits up and sneers, realizing that Malibu was about ready to beat her. She screams out orders at Jenn and Vanity. Vanity fumbles for something, handing it over to her master. Showing her mirror to the crowd, Alexandria raises it high above her head and brings it down, forcefully on Malibu�s.)
Kenny: This is an outrage! Malibu has just been hit with Parker�s mirror.
Cari: Guess it IS bad luck � for Malibu.
(Dazed and confused, Malibu collapses, with more blood covering her, mixing in with her lovely yellow hair. Alexandria spits on her as she calls off her dogs and they exit the ring, amid the boos of the crowd. EMTs race from the back of the arena, towards the ring. The vicious Alexandria trips them on their way, further displaying her cruel temperament.)
Kenny: This is a disgrace! As far as I am concerned, Malibu won that fair and square!
Cari: Pffft. You�re the square around here. Parker was just setting a trap. Even the village idiot could see that.
(As the EMTs get to the ring, Malibu lightly shoves them off, showing her fans that she can stand on her own, taking in their supportive cheers, showing her that they know who the real winner was. Alexandria disappears through the curtains, fuming, while Jenn stays behind for a moment, staring daggers through Malibu. It is clear that the smaller blonde has decidedly evil thoughts racing through her mind.)
Cari: Its only going to be a matter of time before these two women really meet and show us some nasty feud match, eh Kenny?
Kenny: I hope its soon because these two girls have deeper issues to settle in the ring. I�m certain of that!
(The camera fades out, taking the home viewers to the next commercial. The soft jingle of everyone�s favorite fast food restaurant, the �In and Out Burger,� can be heard.)