Round One Tag Match: "Brawl in the Mall"
( The lights in the arena dim slightly and the crowd cheers as the next match is moments away. The camera pans across the cheering throng, as people cheer and wave in hopes a having someone at home see themselves on TV. Another camera shot takes over and it zooms in towards the announcer's table )
Sandra: "Welcome back folks, this next match up is well.....The battle of the certified and soon to be certified."
Garry: "What??? Are you insinuating that the Marquise DeSade is insane?"
Sandra: "I call it as I see it, and that lady has a few screws loose upstairs."
Garry: " You'd best watch you tongue or the Yvette will have it ripped from your body. The Marquise is the most exquisite creature in BRA."
Sandra: " Well creature is the right word, and her opponent is another nutbar. Lil Alexandra, the prot�g� of The Dentonvale clinic is a complete loony tune."
Garry: " Well, Alex is under the care of Dr.Cosmo McKinley and she is doing fine, in fact she is backstage right now..."
( A backstage shot is seen on the Angeltron. Alexandra is smiling into the camera )
Alex: "Blue blood tires easily, Yvette. Of course, when I get my rookers around you it will be time for . . . ultraviolence. If something should happen to you the militia won't take me away as I already have been committed to a hospital. After tonight, you will be committed to a different kind of hospital."
( The camera shot of the announcers appears )
Sandra: "Yup, Koo Koo for CoaCoa Puffs"
Garry: " the Marquise is ready for the fruitloop "
( Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy' starts up, Dr. McKinley and Nurse Ansalong come out. Nurse Ansalong in her tight nurse's outfit and Dr. McKinley in his pulled over 1930's style psychiatrist's jacket, both smiling. They then both each pull aside one section of the curtains. Then 'The End is the Beginning is the End' by the Smashing Pumpkins starts, and Little Alexandra comes through with her bowler, tight white outfit, walking stick, white midriff shirt and suspenders. As they go down the aisle, Dr. McKinley and Nurse Ansalong wave to the audience as if they are fan favorites, ignoring the boo's and jeers. Dr.McKinley grabs a program and signs it. The stunned fan stands confused as the Dr. hands it back to him. Nurse Ansalong pats a few male fans on the head, bending over the guardrail and giving them a look at her ample bosom. Dr.McKinley stops in front a small girl with a Body Shop T-shirt. He pulls out one of his business cards and hands it to her.) Dr.McKinley: " Make an appointment with me, as soon as possible. "
( The Dentonvale crew takes their place around the ring as Lil Alex climbs into the ring. She removes her bowler and hands it to the nurse. She winks at the ref as he checks her over for foreign objects.)
Garry: " Ahh, wasn't that nice, the good doctor trying to help out the poor confused girl "
Sandra: " Ya, a real sweetheart. "
(Suddenly the lights dim and the first few bars of the French National Anthem play, then. The lights go out and explosions, fireballs and spotlights go swirling. The Angeltron shows scenes of terrorism, violence, sex, and explosions, followed by the Lords of Acid's 'Out Comes the Evil.' Yvette appears from the curtains, clad in her white S&M style outfit with white crop and cape, then throws her head back, laughs and extends both arms, forming a 'Y' (for 'Yvette, of course). She is then followed by Kelly 'the Assassin' Mase and Merci. )
Garry: " All rise for her Royal Highness...."
( Garry rises and bows his head as Sandra remains seated )
Sandra: " We don't bow in this country Garry, suck up all you want. This lady is a fraud."
( Dr.McKinley quickly moves to the opposite side of the ring as The Sisterhood walks down the aisle. Yvette scowls at the fans and threatens to strike them with her cane. She climbs into the ring as Kelly and Kayla take up flanking positions. Yvette has Merci remove her cape and cane and she turns and scowls at the ref as he approaches )
Sandra: "Looks like Miss High and Mighty doesn't want to be checked for weapons."
Garry: "Of course not, to insinuate such a thing is an insult to the Marquise. She has no need of weapons to dispose of lil Alex.
Sandra: "Then why are Kelly and Kayla here?"
Garry: "She is royalty, she needs her servants to deal with all the jealous people who may try and attack her."
Sandra: "yeah right. "
( Yvette threatens the ref will all sorts of vile treatments as he checks her over. Yvette turns and starts to say something to Merci. Alexandra charges across the ring. )
Garry: "Lookout!"
( Alex slams into Yvette, knocking her face first into the turnbuckles. Alex quickly grabs the stunned Marquise by her hair and pulls her into the middle of the ring. Alex rams her knee up into Yvette's stomach. She falls to the mat clutching her middle as Alex grabs a handful of blonde hair and pulls her head up )
Alex: "I've been sharpened up for some . . . ultraviolence."
( With that Alex slams a fist down onto the top of Yvette's head. The Marquise crumples to the mat )
DING DING DING
Garry: " Of all the dirty cheap sneak attacks...."
Sandra: " Yes, I am surprised the Marquise didn't strike first."
( Alex pulls Yvette to her feet and scoops her up in a carry. She walks to the middle of the ring and begins to spin around. Yvette wails in horror as Alex pushes her up and off. Yvette completes a full rotation before slamming face first into the mat.)
Sandra: " Lil Alex is in full control of this match"
Garry: "Hah! Little do you know, the Marquise is baiting her....I hope."
( Alex smiles at the doctor and her nods his head. She turns and stands above the moaning Yvette. Alex raises her boot and places it on top of Yvette's face. Suddenly she rakes it off, causing Yvette to squeal in pain. The ref warns Alex about the move and she just smiles at him. )
Garry: " Dirty move by Alex, those boots don't look like regulation footwear to me. "
Sandra: " Well, I think Yvette got a better look at them than you."
( Alex grabs a handful of hair and pulls Yvette to her feet. She whips her into the corner. Yvette slams into the turnbuckles , Alex comes charging in and leaps into the air...)
Garry: " Nobody Home!!"
( Yvette bails out of the way and Alex slams into the corner. Yvette quickly lashes out a kick into the back of Alex's knee, knocking her to the mat. Yvette slams another kick to the back of her opponent's head, sending her to the mat. Yvette wipes a trickle of blood from her lip and snarls )
Yvette: " You English Pig Dog! "
( Yvette begins stomping down on Alex's body. The Marquise face is twisted in a snarl as she kicks her downed opponent over and over. Dr. McKinley yells some encouragement but quickly quiets down as Yvette shoots him a dirty look. Yvette grabs Alex by the hair and violently pulls her up. Yvette shoves her back into one of the corners and quickly grabs her in a side headlock. The Marquise takes off running across the ring and then leaps into the air )
Garry: " That's gonna leave a mark. "
Sandra: " Well executed Bulldog by Yvette"
( Lil Alex's face is driven into the mat as Yvette lands, The Marquise quickly hooks a leg and goes for the pin. Before the ref can even slap a one count Alex kicks out. Yvette smirks and rises to her feet. She grabs Alex by the hair and pulls her up. Yvette throws Alex into the ropes and takes off in the other direction. Alex rebounds off the ropes and stumbles back to the middle as Yvette charges across and leaps into the air, spinning her legs around. )
Garry: "Spinning Heel Kick!!"
( Yvette foot slams into the top of Alex's head, nearly decapitating her. The pretty blonde slumps backwards to the mat. Yvette quickly scrambles on top of her and starts hammering down with a series of quick palm thrusts and punches. The ref starts to count for Yvette to break but she refuses and continues her assault. Only at the last moment does she stop. Yvette puts her hands on Alex's shoulders and holds her down for a pin. The ref slaps his hand down once, before Alex breaks free, pushing Yvette off of her. )
Garry: " Horribly slow count, this officiating is terrible. "
Sandra: " Yes, how dare the ref stop Yvette from cheating "
Garry: "Exactly.....I mean...ummmm"
( Alex tries to rise to her feet, but Yvette kicks her in the belly, sending her sprawling across the mat. Yvette spits down on her foe and growls )
Yvette: "It is good that you live in a hospital, freak, because you will need those living quarters after tonight!"
( Yvette bends down and puts Alex in a headlock. The Marquise then falls backwards, slamming Alex's head into the mat. )
Garry: "Perfect DDT!"
( Yvette quickly covers Alex for the pin )
Garry: "Come on Ref!!!!!!!!!"
( Yvette turns to look where the ref is. She scowls as Nurse Anaslong is up on the ring edge, her ample bosom nearly exploding out her tight uniform. The ref is politely asking her to get off. Yvette storms over and the pretty nurse jumps down. Yvette grabs the ref by the shoulder and spins him around. She screams at him about his incompetence. He takes one last look at Anaslong before warning Yvette about touching an official. )
Sandra: " Yvette better be careful, she grabs an official like that and she can be DQ'd."
Garry: " Hah, that simpleton does not have the courage to DQ the Marquise "
( As Yvette argues with the ref, Lil Alex rises to her feet. Her eyes are focussed on Yvette's back and she has a weird look on her face. "
Sandra: " Uh oh "
Garry:" Uh oh? What do you mean.....OH NO!!"
( Alex charges across the ring and shoulder tackles Yvette sending them both sprawling out of the ring. Kelly and Kayla quickly move over as Dr. McKinley steps behind Nurse Anaslong, who quickly steps behind him. The ref jumps out of the ring and warns Kelly and Kayla off. Alex pushes herself up and grabs Yvette by her ears. The Marquise screams as Alex lifts her up by her lobes. Alex then lifts Yvette up in a bearhug. Yvette squeals in agony as Alex crushes the breath out of her. Lil Alex shows remarkable strength by holding her larger opponent in the air. Yvette struggles to break free, but her arms are pinned against her sides. The ref is yelling at Alex to get back into the ring. She ignores him and continues to squeeze the life out of Yvette. The ref begins to count both wrestlers out. Cosmo yells at Alex to drop Yvette and get into the ring. She turns her head and drops Yvette to the ground. The Marquise crumples to the ground as Alex walks up the ring steps and climbs into the ring. Kayla and Kelly quickly run over and help Yvette to her feet. The ref reaches the 15 count as Yvette is helped into the ring by her comrades. Alex quickly charges over, she goes to grab Yvette by the hair, but the Marquise pokes out her finger , jabbing it into Alex's eye. The British bombshell screams out in pain and stumbles away. The ref yells at Yvette but she ignores him and moves in on her blinded prey.)
Sandra: " Dirty move by Yvette, she could have seriously hurt lil Alex "
( Yvette grabs Alex by the hair and rams her knee up into her midsection, doubling her over. Yvette shoves Alex's head between her knee's and wraps her arms around her waist. Yvette takes a moment and then grunts as she pulls Alex up in an inverted bearhug, She walks carefully to the center of the ring and then leaps backwards, kicking her feet out in front off her. )
Garry: " Beautiful PileDriver...say goodnight to the nut "
( Alex's head is driven into the mat. Yvette maintains her hold around her waist to emphasize the blow, before letting go. Alex tumbles over like a felled tree and lies still on the mat. Yvette rises to her feet and places a boot between on Alex's chest and holds her arms up in a "Y".)
Garry: " See, I told you...1...2....WHAT!!!!!"
( At the last second Alex barely gets her shoulder off the mat. )
Sandra: " A cocky cover by Yvette. She might have had that one if she had pinned Alex properly
( Yvette scowls at the ref and threatens his manhood before kicking Alex over onto her stomach. Yvette grabs both of Alex's arms from behind and places her knee into the small of the Blondes back )
Garry: " Le Bastille ,Now it's over "
( Alex screams out as her arms and back are brutally stretched. Yvette is all smiles as she grinds her knee down and yanks back on the arms. Alex begins to grumble and yell as her body is pulled in directions it was not meant to go.)
Garry: " It's just a matter of time here now folks, Alex has to surrender."
( Dr. McKinley has a look of concern on his face as Alex begins to spout off with different voices, she screams and then laughs and then cries. Nurse Anaslong pulls out a small notepad and writes down the doctors comments as he watches Alex's conversion."
Sandra: " Alex is holding on here folks, her back must be on fire, but she's refusing to surrender. "
( Yvette is no longer smiling. She demands that the ref get Alex to surrender. But the little Blonde refuses, or at least makes no comments about giving up. "
( Suddenly Alex lets out a primal scream and breaks her arms free of Yvette's grasp. Alex slumps forward on the mat and Yvette sits stunned. )
Sandra: " Alex broke free!! "
Garry: " That's...that's...not possible"
( Yvette rises to her feet and looks down at Alex with contempt. She grabs Alex by her legs and drags her over to a corner. Yvette flips Alex onto her back, a line of drool is pouring of her mouth, her eyes, just staring up at the ring lights. Yvette kicks her once more and then begins to climb up the turnbuckles. Suddenly Alex rises to her feet and growls. Yvette turns to see Alex reaching up for her. The Marquise is grabbed and then thrown off the top turnbuckle, she goes flying across the ring and lands hard on her back. Lil Alex screams out with delight and skips across the ring..)
Alex: " Singing in the rain, I 'm just singing in the rain "
Garry: " She's lost it, if she had it to begin with"
( Alex skips over to Yvette and pulls her up )
Alex : "Sod off Bitch!!"
( Alex then slams her forearm into Yvette's chest. Yvette goes stumbling backwards and bounces off the ropes. Alex bends down and lifts Yvette up in a huge back body drop. Yvette bounces off the mat and lies still, clutching her back. )
( Dr. McKinley lights up a cigarette and smiles as Alex sits on Yvette's chest and starts to pummel her while singing. Nurse Anaslong keeps an eye on Kelly and Kayla as they watch with some concern about what is happening in the ring. Suddenly the doctor's attention is grabbed by a old lady that has climbed over the guardrail. She paws at the doctor asking him stupid questions about... who invented the question mark. The Nurse goes to grab the woman and push her away, but instead the granny shoves the nurse to the ground. Dr.McKinley tries to tell the woman to calm down, but she is starting to become agitated. Alex looks over as the old woman raises her cane and slams it across his head. The good doctor slumps to the ground. Alex screams in rage and pushes herself off the pummeled Yvette and charges across the ring. The old lady see's Alex coming and goes to leap back into the crowd. Lil Alex slides under the ring and manages to grab the old ladies hair and she falls over the guardrail. The grey hair comes off in her hands. )
Sandra: " What the hell.....Look I know who that is!!!!"
The camera catches a glimpse of the face of the "grannie" before she covers it up "
Garry: " I didn't see anything "
Sandra: " It's Laura Parker!! I'm sure of it!"
Garry: "Not a chance, Miss Bra would never, EVER be caught dead in trashy grandma clothes, you must have been mistaken."
Sandra: " Let's see a replay!! "
Garry: " Ummm no "
( Alex goes to tend on Dr.McKinley, Yvette grabs the ref by the shoulder and starts to yell at him. He turns and warns her not to touch him again. She screams at him about his pathetic lineage. )
Sandra: " oh no..turn around ref!!"
( Kayla and Kelly grab Alex and double DDT her into the concrete. Nurse Anaslong scampers away as Kayla licks her lips and Kelly just stands watching. Kayla and Kelly then lift the semi-conscious Alex and roll her into the ring. Yvette charges across and grabs Alex by the feet and pulls her so she is facing on of the corners. Yvette then quickly scales the turnbuckles. )
Garry: " French Tickler time "
Sandra: " What a travesty, Alex was nailed on the outside and Yvette is taking full advantage of it."
( Yvette holds her arms up in a "Y" before leaping off the top. She lands with both feet into Alex's belly, The crowd gasps in horror as all of the air is forced from the pretty blondes body. Alex crumples into a ball and struggles for breath. Yvette grabs her by the hair and pulls her up. She moves close to the corner before grabbing Alex from behind. Yvette lifts her up into a belly to back Suplex. Alex is lifted up and over, as she falls her head strikes the top turnbuckle and she crumples to the mat. Yvette rises to her feet and raises her arms in triumph. )
Garry: " Brutal Suplex into the turnbuckles. Alex is in dreamland. "
Sandra: " It's a shame really, Alex put on a great fight and was cheated by the Marquise's henchmen, she can't fight her own battles ...pathetic."
( Yvette casually drops across Alex's body, pinning her shoulders to the mat. The ref counts to three and the bell sounds )
DING DING DING
Garry: " A wonderful display by the Marquise DeSade, truly a great match."
Sandra" Are you joking? Yvette can't win a match by herself, she is worse than...Evonne."
Garry: " Shhhhhhh...don't trash Evonne. We don't know what powers Electra has given her."
( Yvette gets her hand raised by the ref, she shoves him away and kicks and stomps Alex out of the ring. The crowd boo's and jeer's, but the Marquise stands triumphant. Yvette turns and stares at the announcer's table. She quickly slides under the ropes and walks up to Garry and Sandra.)
Garry: " A wonderful victory Madame Desade, truly you are a glory to behold. "
Sandra" Stop sucking up ...."
**SLAP**
( Yvette lashes out her hand, striking Sandra across the face, knocking her out of her chair , her headset goes flying. )
Yvette:" You piece of American Trash, you dare to mock me. For 2 months now , I have listened to your mouth foul the airwaves. You will no longer speak ill of Marquise or the Sisterhood. Do you understand you imbecile!"
( Sandra pulls herself up and glares at Yvette. )
Garry: " Now Ladies, there is no need to...."
( Sandra screams and leaps across the table, her hands locking around the throat of Yvette. The Marquise is stunned by the attack and falls backwards with Sandra on top of her. The crowd cheer's as Sandra lands a few blows before security rushes over to break it up. Kayla and Kelly pull Yvette away. Sandra is flushed with anger and she is screaming at Yvette. The Marquise is yelling back at her as the camera turns to Garry.)
Garry: "Ummm, Let's go to commercial...quick!!!!"