Tiffany Epitaphine vs. Sweet Misty for TV Championship
(The camera fades in from commercial. It pans the crowd at the BRA Arena in Las Vegas. The fans are on their feet holding up
sign showing support for their favorite wrestler. The camera finally stops at the Announcers' table.)
Sandra: Welcome back everyone. This next match is for the TV title belt. Featuring Challenger Sweet Misty.
Garry: A lying pathetic cheater. Which of course means she's Sherry Ann's flavor of the month.
(Slap)
Sandra: She's a fine wrestler that never cheats
Garry: Tell that to my good friend Marquise Yvette DeSade Malreaux. This sleazy Shopper hit her over the head with a TV camera at the last PPV.
Sandra: There is no proof of that.
Garry: Just proving that the Body Shop controls the media and the police around here. I read in the paper that she beat up some poor little kid at the Body Shop Casino. This broad is a psychopath. Some four-year-old kid asked for an autograph and she put him in a hospital.
Sandra: That's not what happened. That was just the media sensationalizing a very sweet moment Misty had with a young fan. Misty has had some personal tragedy in her life, with her house burning down. Police suspect arson.
Garry: So do I. That villain probably burned her own house down for the insurance money.
Sandra: (Sounding peeved) And BRA's TV Champion is Tiffany "the Wrath" Epitaphine.
Gary: A Great woman and one of the truly great wrestlers in BRA.
Sandra: I'll grant you she is a great wrestler. She won the TV Title Belt in a ten-woman match at the Last Pay Per View. She has successfully defended it against Americana in a well-fought match.
Garry: She slammed old "puddin' ass" around the ring so much, Americana thought she was in a blender.
Sandra: Funny, I don't remember it being like that.
Garry: It your Alshiemers kicking in a gain. It happens to old broads like you.
(Slap)
Sandra: Here comes the challenger Sweet Misty.
(Cindy Lauper's "Girls just want to have fun" plays through the PA system, and the fans cheer for the brunette beauty! Misty peeks out from the back current shyly . . . then blushes before starting her walk down the aisle. She wears a short red kimono to cover her one-piece light blue wrestling suit. The suit does look more like a swimsuit that shows her shapely legs and an open back. Misty smiles and waves to her fans stopping every so often to give one a little peck on the cheek. She giggles and blushes each time she does this before continuing to the ring. Misty stops in front of the announcer's table and removes her Kimono.)
Sandra: Good luck, Misty.
(Misty blushes at this and hands Garry her Kimono)
Garry: (Dropping it on the floor) EEEAAAK! Get it away from me. It's got Sherry Ann's cooties on it.
Sandra: (Picking up the Kimono.)Stop embarrassing yourself like this. Do you think you're in the first grade?
Garry: No, but you remind me of my first grade teacher, old lady Schmidtz.
(Slap)
Garry: Hey! I wasn't swearing. That really is her name.
(Misty giggles and walks to the ring. She continues to wave to her fans for a second before warming up on the ropes and becoming all business.)
Garry: And now the BRA TV Champion, Tiffany "the Wrath" Epitaphine.
(All the lights go off and many red spotlights circle around the arena as the eerie music plays. Suddenly all goes dark but quickly, three firecrackers explode in quick successions at the top of the stairs above the fans. The red spotlight shows Tiffany coming down from between the fans with the belt at her right shoulder. Tiffany will then climb the announcer's table and looks around. She isn't looking her own Wrath-self as she usually does. Instead there is a bit of weird softness about her. Then she gets down and rushes into the ring and just takes her black overcoat off and throws it aside, revealing her black bikini top and bottom. Then tossing the belt to the handler. At last yelling to the time keeper to ring the bell quickly, "Let it begin and end, damn you". )
(DING! DING! DING!)
(Both wrestlers circle each other looking for an opening, Tiffany raises her hands to try for a test of strength. Misty shakes her head no and nails Tiffany with a kick to the gut that doubles over Tiffany. Misty follows that up with a punch to the face, snapping Tiffany's head back. A series of chops to the chest drive the Wrath into the corner. Another snap kick to the belly causes Tiffany to groan as she doubles over. Misty slaps on a front face lock. She grabs her bikini bottom and sends the Wrath up and over with a snap suplex. Tiffany arches her back in pain as she lies on the mat.)
Sandra: Misty is really taking it to "the Wrath" I think she surprised Tiffany with her quickness.
Garry: A couple of lucky moves, plus I think that first kick looked like a low one to me.
Sandra: When will you stop? Misty never cheats.
Garry: And it's the tooth fairy that leaves those dollars on your pillow, and not your "dates".
(Slap)
(Misty is quick to her feet and grabs Tiffany in an arm bar. Tiffany surprises the Sweet one with a snap kick catching Misty in the midsection. Misty stumbles back releasing the arm bar as Tiffany gets to her feet. Tiffany moves away to regain her bearings. Tiffany moves in and punches toward Misty's face. Misty blocks, but it was a feint, as Tiffany lands a kick to Misty's gut. Misty lets out a squeal and doubles over. She is brought back up courtesy of a kneelift that knocks Misty back into the ropes. Tiffany moves in and starts pummeling Misty. Misty blocks some but a few get through with telling effect. The ref calls for the break. Tiffany complies and steps to the middle of the ring. Misty slumps toward the floor but regains her breath.)
Garry: See I told you, Tiffany is one tough wrestler, those moves by Misty barely phased her.
Sandra: Misty isn't out of it yet.
( Tiffany looks sadly at Misty and seems to be waiting for her. Misty bounces off the ropes and runs toward Tiffany. Misty springs in the air and does a half flip wrapping her legs around Tiffany's neck. Misty flips Tiffany to the mat in a beautiful huricanrana. Tiffany hit the mat with a thump and bounces. Misty grabs Tiffany's arm and raises her from the mat. She punches Tiffany in the gut, then places the Wrath's head between her thighs. Misty grunts and raises Tiffany's legs over her shoulder ready to drop her in a powerbomb. Tiffany manages to wiggle free and slide off Misty. Misty looks around in surprise at finding the elusive Wrath has slipped through her fingers. Tiffany nails Misty with a kick to the spine sending her into the ropes. On her rebound Tiffany scoops her up and slams her to the mat on her back. Misty writhes in agony on the mat clutching her back. Tiffany takes the opportunity to stomp on Misty's unprotected stomach. Misty yelps and involuntarily sits up clutching her stomach. Tiffany sends her head back to the mat with a boot to the face. Misty starts to bleed from her lip.)
Garry: It looks like the Wrath has this one all locked up. It only a matter of minutes now. Do you suppose that old hag Misty's hanging around with will come in a save her?
Sandra: Sherry Ann knows how good Misty is. Misty won't need saving.
Garry: Funny isn't it. I say "old hag" and you know I'm talking about Sherry Ann. You must feel the same way I do about her.
(Slap)
( Tiffany looks sadly at Misty as she leans over the moaning warrior. Misty surprises Tiffany with a kick to the face, which sends Tiffany staggering backward. Misty staggers to her feet, using the ropes to help her up. Tiffany grabs Misty to sling her into the far ropes. Reversal by Misty and she sends Tiffany into the ropes caching her with a drop kick to the left knee that has Tiffany howling in pain as she falls backward to the mat. Tiffany clutches her knee and rolls on the mat. Misty grabs Tiffany's wounded knee and flips her onto her stomach. Misty begins to wrap Tiffany's leg around her leg, going for a figure four leg lock. Tiffany strikes out with her right foot and nails Misty in the chest. Misty releases the leg and staggers back. Tiffany staggers to her feet and leans against the ropes. Misty stands with her hands on her waist on the far side of the ring. Both wrestlers are breathing heavily from their efforts in this fast paced match.)
Sandra: Boy, this match is fast paced. I don't know if either wrestler can keep this up for long.
Garry: It won't last much longer, I'm sure Misty will be crying "mama" or at least "Sherry Ann" pretty soon. Sherry is old enough to be her mother, after all.
Sandra: Sherry Ann isn't that old.
Garry: HAH! When Sherry was born, the Dead Sea wasn't even sick.
(Both wrestlers circle each other warily. Misty steps in quickly with a chop to the chest blocked by Tiffany. Tiffany pushes down on Misty's head and sends her crashing to the mat with a powerful knee lift. Tiffany places Misty in an arm bar. Misty cries out in pain. The ref asks if she wants to submit. Misty shakes her head and cries out no. Tears and sweat mingle on Misty's face from her efforts to fight the painful effects of the arm bar. Tiffany twists the arm more. Misty begins to cry out from the pain. Tiffany whispers to her: "Please, o please, let it end." Misty falters for a second, trying to understand what Tiffany means by that. She then begins to power her way up. Misty manages to get to her feet. Tiffany releases the arm bar and jumps to her feet. Misty walks around the ring shaking her arm to get feeling back in it.)
Garry: Stick a fork in Misty 'cause she's done. I think it's time for the Epitaph.
Sandra: Misty just powered her way out of that arm bar. She's still got a lot of fight in her.
( Tiffany grabs Misty's other arm and slings her into the ropes. On the rebound Tiffany grabs her in firemen's carry. Tiffany falls backward to the mat planting Misty in a Samoan drop. Misty groans on impact with the mat Tiffany rolls Misty over on her stomach and sits on her back She raises Misty's head and hooks both her arms over her thighs. She cups her hands under Misty's chin and pulls back in a painful camel clutch. Misty screams in pain. The ref asks if she wants to submit, but Misty shakes her head no. Misty flails with her legs but her feet are just inches from the ropes Again Tiffany whispers: "Please, o please, let it end." Tiffany pulls back even harder bending Misty back further than anyone thought possible.)
Garry: (Singing) Turn out the lights the party's over.
Sandra: Is someone torturing a cat? What is that awful noise?
Gary: You know you love it. Just like you love everything about me.
(Slap)
(Misty makes one final push backwards and manages to get the toes of her right foot onto the ropes. The ref signals for the break and Tiffany complies immediately. Tiffany jumps to her feet and looks on sadly as Misty uses the ropes to pull herself up. The ref signals for the fight to continue. Tiffany moves in and scoops a wobbly Misty up and drops her down hard with a body slam. Tiffany runs to the ropes, she leaps to the second rope and comes crashing down with an elbow drop aimed at Mist head. Misty rolls out of the way at the last second and Tiffany crashes to the mat. Misty uses the ropes to rise to her feet as Tiffany rolls on the mat clutching her injured elbow. A very exhausted Misty steadies herself on the ropes as Tiffany slowly gets to her feet.)
Garry: I thought the Wrath had her there. Tiffany seems to be a bit off, not her usual vicious self. I wonder what's going on with her?
Sandra: Not vicious enough for you? She nearly broke Misty's back with that camel clutch.
Garry: That's what I mean. The Tiffany I know and love, would have broken her back. I think she's getting soft.
Sandra: I think you're getting soft, in the head.
( Both wrestlers are showing the strain of this match. They lean against the ropes breathing heavily. Misty seems to be more injured than Tiffany. They move toward each other. Misty surprises Tiffany with a kick to the gut. Tiffany bends over, the breath driven from her in a loud whoosh. Misty applies a front face lock on the Tiffany and throws Tiffany's near arm across her shoulders. Misty grabs Tiffany's leg and hooks it. Misty grunts and with the last of her strength lifts Tiffany so that she is upside down and then drops her straight down. Tiffany's head lands on the mat with a thud. Misty tries a roll up. ONE! TWO! . . . Kick out by Tiffany. Both wrestlers lie on the mat too exhausted to move.)
Sandra: A near pin by Misty.
Garry: Near only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Sandra: I thought that was close.
Garry: Whatever.
Sandra: What the hell! Who's that running down the entrance ramp?
Garry: I can't believe it. It's my good friend Marquise Yvette DeSade Malreaux. Hi Marquise are you . . .
(Yvette ignores Garry and runs to the ring. She jumps up to the apron and grabs the top rope and leaps to the top turnbuckle. She poses for the crowd with her arms out forming a Y with her body. She has her back to the wrestlers, facing the crowd. The fans boo her except for a vocal group of Yvette fans calling themselves "The Sadists". Yvette leaps backward off the turnbuckle turning a flip in the air.)
Garry: This is the end for Misty. Finally some justice in this league, Yvette gets her revenge on Misty. Here comes her French Tickler. A name I have always enjoyed.
(Slap)
Sandra; I call this a cowardly act.
Garry: At least she isn't disguised as a cameraman. WHAT THE HELL? She landed on the wrong person. Yvette Malreaux landed with both feet right on Tiffany.
(Tiffany gags and rolls to her side. Misty slowly rises to her feet as Yvette smiles to the crowd at what she just did. The ref looks confused. The fans are booing Yvette even louder. Misty gets slowly to her feet as the ref tries to force Yvette from the ring.)
Sandra: Misty and Yvette ae exchanging threats over what will happen Next week at the "Naughty or Nice" PPV.
Garry: The ref want's to DQ someone but he can't figure out if Yvette's on Misty's side or Tiffany's side, so he does nothing.
Sandra; I think this is despicable. We had a good clean match with two really skilled wrestlers and this French Floozy has to stick her big butt in. She should be fined and suspended from the league.
Garry: Oh Boo Hoo. This is the first match one of your precious Shoppers hasn't had an army of bimbos running in to interfere. You think it's only legal when the shop cheats.
Sandra: Well Yvette's going to get what she deserves. Misty grabs Yvette's arm and slings her into the ropes. NO! Misty stops.
Garry: She seems to be staring at something the Marquise is wearing.
(The Marquise laughs her evil laugh She holds out a cameo locket she is wearing. Misty looks stunned at the sight of it.)
Yvette: ( Laughing cruelly) You're interested in old thing? I must have picked it up somewhere. Probably at a FIRE SALE.
(Yvette struts out of the ring laughing. Misty stares at her in stunned immobility. Tiffany is lying on the mat trying to breathe. Yvette leaves the ring with one last haughty shake of her head. She smiles at Tiffany and blows her a kiss. The ref signals for the match to continue. Misty continues to stare after Yvette and Tiffany still isn't moving.)
Garry: Misty better do something. The ref is counting. If he reaches ten and she doesn't fight the match will be draw because of no action.
( The ref begins to count out both of them for not fighting. The crowd goes wild, cheering their favorite to finish the match. The crowd reaction finally gets to Misty. She sees Tiffany, with the damage that Yvette has done to her, groaning on the mat. Misty begins to move toward Tiffany. Misty bends down and helps Tiffany to her feet and then moves away, letting Tiffany recuperate.)
Garry: Come on finish this. Stop being such a wuss.
Sandra: Misty is being a true sportswoman. She allowing Tiffany to recover from that vicious attack by Yvette.
Garry: Wake me if this gets good.
( The ref is furious at this and so is the crowd. They begin to boo the lack of action. The ref counts faster this time. As the count reaches nine Tiffany nods at Misty. Misty moves toward Tiffany and delivers a weak chop to the chest. Even though it is weak, it staggers Tiffany.Misty moves behind Tiffany. She stands back to back with Tiffany and puts Tiffany in a reverse headlock arching Tiffany's back. Misty pushes back and down dropping Tiffany to her knees. Misty drops down and hooks Tiffany's leg forcing her to bow from knee to neck. Misty applies pressure. The battered Tiffany can only nod yes when the ref asks if she submits. Misty breaks the hold when Tiffany submits, and checks to see if she is badly hurt.)
Sandra: A win for Misty. I don't think she likes winning like this. Yvette Malreaux interfered but she missed Misty and hit Tiffany instead. I think Misty would rather win cleanly
Garry: Yeah, right. Misty a Shopper they don't know what a clean win is. Are you positive that Yvette MISSED her target? She's one sharp Lady. She doesn't make many mistakes like that.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Battling Ring Angels TV Title Holder SWEEEET MISTYYYY!
(Misty helps Tiffany to her feet and lets Tiffany leans on her as they leave the ring together. Tiffany leaning on one of Misty's shoulders, the TV belt slung across the other.)
