Sandra: Welcome to this big event, the Naughty or Nice PPV! I am Sandra Allistarr and this is Garry Grimmoire.
Garry: Hey everybody. What a show we have for you here tonight. We have a Royal Rumble to decide the World Heavy Weight title.
Sandra (looks annoyed): There are no heavyweights in women wrestling.
Garry: I know that.
Sandra: Well, the Royal Rumble will decide the ultimate champion of the BRA.
Garry: The Celestial Title !!!
Sandra: That's right!
Garry: I can't wait to see the matches.
[ The Angeltron comes to live and there are scenes from previous matches. "Send me an Angel" blares over the PA system. ]
Sandra: I can't wait to see the first match.
[ The music suddenly stops and a scratching sound can be heard. It's almost like........MANHOLE ]
Straight from the City of Angels
Another fist full of Anger
Keeping one in a Chamber
Deal with the Rage I feel inside
I am that little bitch you fear cuz I'm not afraid
I'm everything that's real and no, I will not break
[ The Bitch from L.A. makes her way to the aisle. She is wearing a black T-shirt with an image of...HERSELF!! making a gesture with her middle finger and the letters L.A. Bitch. She is wearing high heeled short boots, a red leather skirt and a handbag. Her curly uncombed hair is obscuring her features. ]
Garry: Who is that?
Sandra: She looks like a whore to me.
Garry: She looks gorgeous.
Sandra: Shut up. That girl needs to take a bath.
[ The Bitch from L.A. walks to the announcers booth. She takes Garry's head with both hands and kisses him passionately. Sandra looks disgusted at them. L.A. Bitch stops kissing, stares at Sandra and spits her in the face! ]
Yukk!!!!
[ The L.A. Bitch grabs the microphone, walks the ringsteps and slips though the ropes. ]
Garry: Just what we need, another hardcore bitch!
Sandra (wiping the spit from her face): She is more like a filthcore bitch.
[ The Bitch from L.A., Ruby McGregor looks into the crowd. She has a wicked smile on her face. ]
L.A. Bitch: It's time for a lesson. You are gonna experience REALITY. And REALITY that's me.
You are all here to see some stupid matches. They are not even worth looking at. And I am here because I had nothing better to do.
[ There is a humming coming out of her handbag. She picks out her mobile. ]
L.A. Bitch (to the crowd): Ooops, I am sorry. Phonecall for me.
L.A. Bitch (answering the phone): Yes, those are the T-shirts I ordered. All of them with L.A. Bitch on them, yes at the expensive of Carmikel Inc., Yes, my name is Evonne Carmikel. You can send the bill to my office. Make sure every fan get a free T-shirt at the end of the Pay Per View. Yes, give them a free T-shirt at the exit of the Arena.
L.A. Bitch (to the crowd): Sorry, I had to answer this phonecall. Oh...yes...wait...I am here to announce tonight's matches because these people here really don't know how (she points at Garry and Sandra)
First we have a match with two grannies, Americana and Peggy Christian. The battle of the grandmothers and you know what, they are also friends and tagpartners.
Do you expect we can have a fight here?
[ The Bitch from L.A. reaches out her microphone to the crowd, waiting for a response from them. All you can here is a loud yelling of YES and NO. There is more YES than NO. ]
Do you think we can have a REAL fight here? [she points the mic to the crowd once again]
[ The sound of NO is drowning out now. ]
Let's get real. Do you really think these two old hags can wrestle?
Do you really think they want to hurt each other?
[ We can hear a loud NO throughout the building. ]
Garry: This is a woman that can move the crowd!
Sandra: She is disgusting. She has no respect at all!!!
L.A. Bitch: Soooooooooooooooooooo, you finally agree with me. Let's see what's next. We have a match with Sherry Ann's pet, Sweet Misty going head-to-head with a fake dominatrix, Yvette Malreaux. Hey Frenchie, do you speak English? You've gotta learn the language first before you start wrestling.
And we have Dollar Ass Bitch facing Meagan Delanoire. Fans, I do believe we don't have a fight here. Dollar Ass Bitch is just too scared to show up. She was too scared to say something about me after I gunned her down with my mouth (she licks her lips). We have a real coward here.
Hey Dollar Ass Bitch, you can't keep hiding from me. One day I will find you and you can't escape the Bitch from L.A.!!!!
Next match is two sisters fighting each other. Lisa Dream and Tina Dream.
What kind of league is this?
Do you really think these people are going to hurt each other?
Sister hits sister and says "Oh I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Can you please forgive me?"
What kind of place is this?
Sister fights sister. Mother fights daughter. Girlfriend fights ex-girlfriend. Old hag fights her own partner.
THIS PLACE IS ONE HAPPY FAMILY.................OR WHAT??????????
Do you people really think you can expect a real fight here tonight?.............I think not!!!
All you will see is some clowns caressing and embracing each other...but no real fight.
Next week you will see the FIRST REAL FIGHT in the history of the BRA. You are gonna experience reality. You are gonna experience me....THE BITCH FROM L.A.
[ The crowd erupts with cheers. ]
Ah what more matches do we have tonight? Not even worth mentioning. Sherry Ann faces her own teenage daughter. A family feud? It�s more like an excuse to show us how much they care about each other, because we all know how this will end. This is gonna be a match with a happy ending. "Oh, mommy, I am so sorry. I didn�t mean to hurt you. I will always love you. I was so stupid to run away from you. " And mother says "I forgive you, my daughter."
If you want to see this crap there are plenty of soap series on your cable more entertaining!!!!
Then there�s the Pageant for the title of "Miss Bra" Laura Parker and Tiffany Lane . I really don�t know what that is supposed to mean but I�ll find out soon. I don�t know these wrestlers and I don�t want to know them!!!!!
And then a tagteam match and this is really worth mentioning because we already know these two old hags, Americana and Peggy Christian are going break each others bones and cripple each other and make each other bleed to death in the opening match of this PPV and then they will heal MAGICALLY and team up against another tagteam. Now is this REALITY or NOT !!!! Where do you find something like this? I can�t figure this out. What�s the essence of this?
DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE A REAL FIGHT HERE TONIGHT??????
I GUESS NOT.
And finally the big match where everybody's waiting for, a Royal Rumble to decide the new HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF BRA with 10???? wrestlers in the ring. What do you think of this one? Who is going to win? Are the Shoppers going to work together in this? Yes they do if they are smart. But the REAL question is "ARE THEY SMART ENOUGH?" or do you think the evil Dollar Ass Bitch is going to walk away with the title?
It�s a question for you. I already know the answer.
And remember folks, next card you will finally see a real match.....
YOU ARE GONNA EXPERIENCE REALITY. YOU ARE GONNA EXPERIENCE ME.
The Bitch from L.A.
[ The Bitch from L.A. throws the microphone out of the ring and walks to the front seats, pulls a fan out of his chair and sits down to watch the matches. ]
