Americana
vs.
Peggy Christian

( The camera pans the capacity crowd at the BRA arena. The arena is set up for the Naughty or Nice Show. Ring posts are decorated in candy cane stripes and there are snow-covered Christmas trees on the floor around the ring. The camera pans to the crowd. The crowd goes crazy cheering and holding up signs that say. "All I want for Christmas is the Babe Squad." "Misty can stuff My Stocking" and "Santa Loves Princess Peg." The camera pans around the arena and stops at the announcers' table. Sandra is there dressed as Mrs. Santa Clause, including a red dress with white trim, a white wig and "granny" glasses. )

Sandra: Welcome Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages. Tonight we have Battling Ring Angels Naughty or Nice Pay per View show. I'm expecting a special visitor at any moment. Well look! Here he comes now.

( She points toward the wrestler's entrance ramp. Santa Claus is walking into the arena with a big sack on his back. He throws candy canes to the children in the crowd. The children cheer as do some of the adults. )

Santa: HO! HO! HO! Merry Christmas, everybody.

( Santa stops near a little girl sitting on an aisle seat. )

Santa: HO! HO! HO! Have you been a good girl?

Girl: Why don't you blow . . .

( Santa moves away from the girl before his mic picks up the rest of what she was going to say. Santa works his way though the crowd throwing candy to the children. He makes his way to the announcers' table )

Sandra: Hello Santa. Merry Christmas to you.

Santa: HO! HO! HO! Have you been a good girl?

Sandra: Yes I have. Santa: Still no luck, even though you hang out in bars until closing every night?

( Santa is obviously Garry. Sandra is prepared to slap him, but realizes that she can't slap "Santa" on national TV. )

Sandra: Did you bring us any special gifts for Christmas?

( Garry reaches in his bag and pulls out a gift wrapped boxes as he lists the fights, making each match look like a present. )

Garry: I have brought the greatest gift for wrestling fans. Tonight we have a special card eagerly anticipated by everyone. First we have Americana vs. Princess Peg Christian. Then Yvette Malreaux vs. Sweet Misty in a hell in a cell match for the TV Title. Next we have Meagan Delanoire vs. Evonne Carmikel. After that we have the Dream sisters battling it out in another hell in a cell match. Follow that up with mean old Sherry Ann against her daughter, Jenny "the Cheerleader" Anderson. We have the finals of the Miss BRA beauty Pageant after that "family feud". That is followed by the Tag Team match of the Motherhood vs. Simply Divine to crown the first BRA tag team champions. And last but not least we have a Royal Rumble to decide the World Champion Celestial Title holder.

Sandra: Well, these are all great presents Santa. We better get to them right away.

( Garry and Sandra sit at the announcer's table. )

Garry: Our first match is between the grannies from hell. Americana and Princess Pig.

Sandra: That's Princess Peg. You're the pig. I noticed you didn't need pillows to fill out that costume.

Garry: You should never slap Santa. You'll get coal in your stocking. Besides that slap didn't hurt.

Sandra: I had a chance to interview Americana before tonight's match. Here it is on the Angeltron.

( The Angeltron shows Sandra interviewing Americana. )

Sandra: "Americana, there has been a lot of talk about your first tag team match and how even though you won, that both you and Peggy are too old to compete in the BRA. How do you answer that?

Americana: "Well, let me first say hello to my fans and thank them for their support. It has been a difficult couple of weeks, but I thank them for staying behind me! As for being too old . . . I don't think that's true. I'm in better shape than most of the women in the BRA and tonight I'm going to prove that. I love Peggy Christian . . . but she needs to learn that if she is going to compete in the BRA, she will need to start dedicating herself to wrestling!"

Sandra: "Is there trouble with The Motherhood?"

Americana: "No . . . I'm not blaming Peggy and we have no trouble. But if she had been willing to get herself in better shape . . . put aside the time to train together . . . and concentrated on our match rather than on all of the other things she concentrated on . . . well then maybe it wouldn't have been so hard to get a win."

Sandra: "So are you saying that you're going to kick Peggy's ass tonight?"

Americana:"No . . . that's not what I said. Tonight I'm going to show Peggy what she can become if she is willing to work at it . . . and then....."

Sandra:"and then . . . have we seen the last of "The Motherhood" tag team?"

Americana:" I hope not . . . but only time will tell . . . Thank you fans!!!!XOXOXO"

Americana blows kisses to the camera before walking away and waiting for her introduction.

( Garry is now pretending to be asleep. Sandra slaps him on the back of the head. )

Garry: Is it over?

Sandra Well, here comes Americana into the arena now.

( Americana is wearing a clingy, red white and blue full body outfit which showcases her newly, trimmed down body. Her waist and hips are slimmer, which make her curves even more dramatic and sexy. A blue and white cape waves behind her as she walks toward the ring carrying the American flag while the song "God Bless America" sung by Kate Smith, blares in the background. Americana smiles and waves to her numerous fans, saluting the children who are calling out her name. )

Garry: Where's the rest of her?

Sandra: What do you mean?

Garry: At her first match, she was twice as big as she is now.

Sandra: Americana has been working out. She's really firmed upped. She looks good.

Garry: I'll say . . . I mean she must have had liposuction. They must have gotten enough fat out of her to keep McDonald's deep fryers going for 10 years.

Garry: I barely felt that. It must be the beard.

Sandra: Here comes her opponent for this match, but a tag team partner in a later match. Princess Peg Christian.

Garry: Well she at least hasn't had liposuction.

( Tom Jones "She a Lady" plays over the PA system as Princess Peg Christian nervously enters the arena. She is wearing a zebra print one piece bathing suit with black tights and soft leather wrestling boots. )

Sandra: This will be an interesting match. They are friends, but now must fight against each other.

Garry: Interesting? It sounds more like boring to me.

( Peg goes to shake Americana's hand as the bell rings. Americana grabs Peg's hand and sends her crashing into the ropes with an Irish whip. A surprised Peg bounces off the ropes and is sent up, over and down on her back with a well-executed back drop by Americana. Pegs hits the mat with a loud THUD and lets out a squeal of surprise. )

Garry: That registered a six on the Richter scale.

Garry: Amazing this beard is protecting me. I barely felt that.

( Americana quickly rolls Peg onto her stomach. She grabs Pegs legs and applies a Boston Crab. Americana says to Peg. "You could easily have the upper hand now Peggy, if only you would dedicate yourself to getting better." Americana leans back and puts more pressure on Peg's back and legs. Peg slaps the mat but refuses to submit. Peg tries to move toward the ropes but is unable to. Americana applies more pressure and then releases the hold. Americana quickly brings Peg to her feet and again with a wrist lock. Americana slings Peg into the ropes but no, a reversal by Peg. Americana bounces of the ropes as Peg delivers a clothesline, ducked by Americana. Before Peg can react, Americana has her in a full nelson. Americana pushes down on the back of Peg's head adding preasure. Americana yells at Peg "You didn't prepare for me Peggy, did you? But I prepared for you!". )

Sandra: Peg seems bewildered by Americana's attitude.

Garry: Peg gets bewildered by a lightening bug.

Garry: Still doesn't hurt. I'll have to wear this beard to all of the matches.

( Peg's shoulders are stretched back in agony. The ref asks Peg if she submits but she shakes her head no. Peg tries to power her way out of the full nelson by forcing her head and neck up. Americana presses down even harder. Peg suddenly takes advantage of the pressure Americana is supplying by summersaulting forward and taking Americana with her. Americana lands on the mat with Peg landing on top of her. Driving the air out of Americana with a whooosh. Peg looks at Americana and says, "Were you prepared for that?" Peg rolls up Americana in a matchbook pin. Americana kicks out at the count of two. )

Sandra: Nice reversal by Peg. I think Americana was a little overconfident there.

Garry: Americana may have been a little overconfident but I think Peg is a little overfed.

Garry Slap me all you want to. It really doesn't hurt.

( Peg and Americana get to their feet. They go for a test of strength but Americana grabs one of Peg's arm and moves quickly behind her in a hammer lock. Americana pulls up on the arm and Peg screams in pain. "You could easily have the upper hand now Peggy, if only you would dedicate yourself to getting better." Americana whispers in Peg's ear. Americana moves quickly and steps in front of Peg while still holding the arm. She whips Peg into the ropes. Peg rebounds off them and is hit by a dropkick to the chest. Peg goes down again. Americana brings Peg to her feet and sends her into the ropes again and again nails her with a drop kick. Americana brings a stunned Peg to her feet and one more time throws her into the ropes. )

Garry: I don't think the ropes can take having that much weight being thrown into them. They're going to break if Americana keeps this up.

Sandra: Will you knock it off about Princess Peg's weight?

Garry: Sure I will. When she knocks off about 50Lbs. AAAAAUUGH! What the hell are you doing?

Sandra: I was going to pull that beard off to get a clean slap on you. What did you use to glue it on?

Garry: The glue that came with it didn't work well, so I used crazy glue.

Sandra: Crazy glue? That stuff will never come off.

Garry: Sure it will. I got it all taken care of.

( Americana is set to drop Peg to the mat with a backdrop, but Peg maneges to grab the ropes and slow herself. She sees Americana bent over and she puts Americana in a front headlock. She falls backwards, driving Americana's head into the mat with a DDT. Americana is stunned for a moment as Peg rolls onto Americana's back. Peg puts Americana in a camel clutch. Americana tries to scoot forward to the ropes. Peg applies more pressure. Americana cries out in pain. With a mighty effort Americana pulls herself far enough forward to grab the ropes, Peg breaks the hold before being warned by the ref. )

Garry: This match is too clean for my tastes.

Sandra: Mud wrestling is too clean for your tastes.

Garry: Not if they're naked.

( Peg steps back to allow Americana to get to her feet, both the wrestlers are winded from their efforts so far. The ref signals for the match to continue. Peg again raise ssher hands for a test of strength. Americana runs toward Peg and surprises her by jumping on Pegs thighs and then rolling backward, brining Peg to the mat with a monkey flip. Americana quickly rolls Peg onto her stomach and puts her in a camel clutch. Americana says to Peg, "Age is not a hindrance Peg, after all I'm five years older than you and I've got you trapped.". Americana pulls back on Peg's chin. Peg kicks her legs in agony. She kicks out far enough for one of her toes to barely reach the ropes. Americana breaks the hold. )

Garry: Americana should have ignored that slight toe in the ropes and put Peg away. This is B -O - R - I - N - G. Boring.

Sandra: It a display of wrestling skill by two good athletes. This is the kind of match I like.

Garry: It would be. What's your favorite group? The Osmonds?

Sandra: And what is wrong with the Osmonds?

Garry: Nothing if you're 50 years old and are still not dating. AAARRRG! Will you stop pulling on this beard?

Sandra: No.

( Peg slowly gets to her feet. Before she can straighten up, Americana grabs her and drives her to the mat with a running bulldog. Americana rolls her over and pins her shoulders to the mat with a matchbook pin. "You have to concentrate on every match and every opponent Peg. This isn't a game!" Americana hisses at Peg. The ref drops down to the mat. )

One ( Peg struggles to get her shoulder off the mat but Americana has her leg hooked. )

TWO ( Peg's struggles become noticeably weaker. )

THREE

Ding! Ding! Ding!

( Americana releases Peg and stands as the ref raises her hand in victory. Americana helps Peg to her feet. Peg hugs Americana and congratulates her. Peg raises Americana hand in victory. Americana helps Peg to the locker room. )

Sandra: Well Americana did it. I'm glad they didn't take this match personally. They have to be together as a team when they fight Simply Divine for the Tag Team Title.

Garry: Those two old cows don't stand a chance against Simply Divine. Peg should say she was hurt too bad in this match and forfeit the tag team title.

Sandra: I'll think Motherhood will surprise you.

Garry: Motherhood would be a big surprise to any man. AAAAAAHH Quite pulling my beard.

Sandra: Using crazy glue was a great idea, Garry. I can hurt you without hurting my hand.

The winner: Americana by pinfall.