(Match by: Lord Pumpkin)
Yvette Malreuax Vs. Sweet Misty - Hell in a Cell
(The arena is filled to capacity with screaming fans, desperate with the idea of getting on television - a pay-per-view, at that. The camera zooms in and out, showing some of the more zealous fans - a group of girls dressed like the Body Shop, someone wearing a black T-shirt with red lettering reading 'the assassin,' and even a sign reading, 'I bet on Yvette!' The arena is decorated in Christmas cheer - turnbuckles that look like candy canes, wreaths hanging from the rafters, and the lovable Garry Grimmoire and Sandra Allistair, dressed as Santa's little helpers.)
Garry: Welcome back folks, I'm Garry Grimmoire and seated next to me is the 'lovable' Sandra Allistair.
Sandra: That's right folks, we are well underway in our event tonight, where, if the rest of the show is anything like what we've seen already, then it is going to be fantastic.
Garry: I know! I simply can't believe that the last match ended with -
Sandra: (cutting him off) What's your prediction tonight?
Garry: Well, the two opponents who are going to be facing off, have been waiting to get at one another for quite some time. Our viewers surely remember what happened November 1 in Mexico.
(A montage begins, showing the viewer clips of an individual, dressed as a camerawoman, strike Yvette from behind in her match with Sherry Ann. It clips to a scene of Yvette claiming that it was Misty in an interview. Then a clip is shown of Misty's house ablaze. Then there is Yvette issuing the challenge with the stipulations. There are scenes of stuffed animals being set ablaze. Finally there is the scene of Yvette landing the 'French Tickler' on Tiffany 'the Wrath' and Misty winning the TV title.)
(While the montage is being shown, the crowd boos and cheers, depending on whom they like.)
Sandra: We have Yvette Malreaux -
Garry: MARQUISE Yvette DESADE Malreaux -
Sandra: OK, well, as I recall the noble classes didn't go around burning people's homes.
Garry: What exactly are you implying?
Sandra: Don't play dumb! You are one of Yvette's lackeys, too, I'm sure. I heard about all those parties you've been attending of hers!
Garry: Bah! Yvette would never burn a house. Besides, even if she did, she was justified in doing it because 'Sweet' Misty hit her over the head, costing Yvette the title at the last pay-per-view. What kind of person calls themselves 'sweet' and does something like that?
Sandra: Misty would never do that!
Garry: You are just mad that Yvette showed you the business end of her riding crop last week.
Sandra: You really are hopeless. Anyway folks, this match is for the TV title, which Misty won due to the mettling of Yvette. That woman is a menace to society and should be removed from this federation, deported and sent to prison.
Garry: 'Deported?' You should be deported back to whatever planet you are from. Besides, Yvette has done a lot for this federation. She formed the Sisterhood of Seduction, which has been doing well for merchandising. In fact, the figures are doing so well -
Sandra: What, do you have a cut in sales?
Garry: Well, I, um . . .
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a one fall, steel cage match, and it is for the BRA TV Title. First, from Rennes, France, the challenger, Marquise Yvette DeSade Malreaux.
(Suddenly, the lights go down. The Angletron begins to show scenes of random violence, explosions, wrecks, and an entire host of horrific images. The first few bars of the 'French National Anthem' begin and suddenly switch over to 'Out Comes the Evil' by the Lords of Acid. One explosion erupts and Yvette appears from the curtain. She is followed by her valet, Merci; the original member of the Sisterhood, Kayla Vandergriff; and Yvette's dashing and attractive cousin, Comte Andre-David. They stay behind Yvette long enough for her to form a 'Y' with her arms. She throws her head back and laughs. As she approaches the ring, fans cheer and jeer, depending on their opinion of her. She is oblivious to their sounds. She is dressed in her usual wrestling attire - white boots which come to her knees, a tight, white brief around her waist, a matching white, leather bustier, long white gloves and the ever-present white riding crop. Her outfit, giving an 'S&M' feel, is reveling, sexy, and ominous. The group begins to make their way towards the ring. They follow Yvette who has the look of a fallen angel on her face. She is torrid, insatiable, and clearly ready for battle. She makes her way into the ring, as Merci runs ahead of her, lifts the ropes and allows her access. Merci removes Yvette's cape, allowing Yvette more freedom to raise her hands in a preliminary victory for her fans, which cheer her name like a Messiah walking among them. Merci then joins Kayla and Andre-David, who all make their way towards the side, close to the announcer's booth.)
Sandra: These people disgust me. And that's saying a lot coming from a person who has to sit next to you from week to week.
Garry: What a brat! It's the Christmas season! I'd think you would have a slight bit more kindness.
Announcer: And her opponent, the champion, hailing from Louisville, Kentucky - the BRA TV Champion - Sweet Misty!
(The camera pans from Yvette who is bouncing herself off the ropes, over towards the curtains. The lights dim and Sheryl Crow's 'Tomorrow Never Dies' comes from the loudspeakers. She stares at the ring. While the audience erupts into chaos for the fan favorite, she makes her way past her fans. When she gets half way to the ring, she unties her red kimono and tosses it to the floor. She jumps to the apron and flips over with the grace of a woman of her talents. The official slowly - and cautiously - approaches, removes the TV title belt and hands it to an assistant at ringside. The steel cage begins to lower. The crowd hushes as the symbol of pain and punishment slowly reaches its destination.)
Garry: Well, Sandra, as we already mentioned the reasons, I think this match will be brutal.
Sandra: Yes, Garry, this is going to be one for the books. Well, the cage has just been fixed in and the official is locking things down. Yvette is already taunting Misty. Misty, however, is merely staring at the blonde Frenchwoman.
Garry: Misty looks angry. I have never seen her this upset before. In fact - oh, what's this?
(The crowd erupts into cheers as Sherry Ann makes her way from the back, towards the ring. Clearly she is present to give moral support to her precious, Sweet Misty.)
Garry: Must she be everywhere? This woman is the menace to society!
Sandra: I am not sure if menace is the appropriate word. Well, Yvette has now started taunting Sherry, pointing and laughing at the veteran.
Garry: Well, she is the best joke I have seen all night.
(The bell rings, putting the match underway. Misty begins to circle Yvette. Yvette makes a few fake moves, merely trying to spook the girl.)
Yvette: Misty, this steel cage is where only one of us will survive. You see, in order to get out in on piece, you will have to defeat me, and by doing so, become your own worst nightmare - turn into what you hate the most - something like me. Either way, I cannot lose!
Misty: I can't believe you, Yvette! That locket and picture were the only things I had left of my mother. Now you are going to feel my wrath!
(Misty lunges forward, hitting Yvette with a spear, taking them both to the mat. Yvette seems surprised and is taken of guard. Misty begins delivering a series of blows to Yvette's face and chest. Yvette goes on the defensive, blocking several of them, but responds, as an offense, by grabbing Misty by the hair and throwing her back. Misty rolls off and quickly gets to her feet. Yvette jumps up, landing on her feet, as well.)
Sandra: Well, no surprises here. Misty moves in with an attack and Yvette's only counter is a dirty trick.
Garry: Get bent!
(Yvette bounces across the ring, towards Misty, and delivers a solid kick to the jaw. Misty's head snaps back. As soon as she gets her bearings, Yvette delivers another. Then Yvette jumps forward, grabbing Misty's head, and drops her to the mat. Stunned, Misty's arms flail about, as she is now off balance and on her back. Yvette turns to Sherry Ann and smiles sadistically, as she begins to deliver a series of blows to Misty's head, swearing in French. Sherry, not wanting to give Yvette the satisfaction of showing how much it upsets her, does her best to keep from showing her pain.)
Sandra: Yvette's tactics of trying to rile Sherry are not working.
Garry: Well, not yet. I don't know how long even the 'great' Sherry Ann will be able to contain herself after seeing this. However, it is going to be just the excuse Sherry needs to cheat, as she normally does.
(Yvette has picked up Misty and tossed her into the ropes. Misty avoids the steel cage and comes flying back towards Yvette. Yvette thrusts up her leg to catch Misty in the face, but she avoids it, catching Yvette's foot instead. Misty holds Yvette's foot and uses her own leg to kick directly into the abdomen of the French terror. This causes Yvette to double over in pain and Misty takes advantage. She grabs Yvette's head and thrusts her knee right into Yvette's face, sending Yvette backwards, until she connects with the ropes. Yvette holds her head, trying to regain her senses. Misty does not give Yvette a chance to react. She moves in and begins to deliver a series of kicks to Yvette's knee. This causes Yvette to scream out in pain and she delivers an attempted punch to Misty's stomach, but it does not connect. Yvette falls to the mat and Misty really begins to go to work. After several stomps to Yvette's stomach and a lightening fast leg drop to her neck, she gets back up and begins to deliver another round of kicks to Yvette's right knee.)
Sandra: This is a side of Misty that we have never seen. More . . . brutal. I don't think I like it.
Garry: Well, I must confess that even though I think it is an improvement for her, I think she is only gonna get Yvette mad. We have all seen how poor of a decision that is.
Sandra: (laughs sarcastically) Ain't that the truth? Yeah, she burns down your house!
(Misty bends over and applies the figure-four leg lock to Yvette. In her weakened state, the French terror is unable to fight it off. Misty throws herself to the mat, landing with such force that Yvette screams out loud. Then, with a look of sheer anger and mercilessness, Misty begins to apply as much pressure as she can.)
Sandra: Good God! I think Misty is trying to break her leg! I detest Yvette but she doesn't deserve that!
Garry: Kayla! Merci! Do something! Help your boss!
Kayla: (turning back to Garry) Yvette is in no trouble yet! She is merely planning a strategy!
(Yvette attempts to swat at Misty but she is out of range. Instead she makes an attempt to reach for the ropes, but Misty pulls her by the hair to get her away. Sherry is cheering Misty on, even though the violent streak seems to even have her somewhat taken back.)
Misty: Yvette, you killed all my stuffed animals! I am gonna make you suffer, too!
Garry: I hardly think the trade off is fair!
Finally, Yvette makes contact with the rope and the official brakes the hold. Misty does so but only very reluctantly. The official gets in the way of Misty's next attack on Yvette asking her if she is OK. Even the official is somewhat concerned about it.)
Sandra: What are you doing?! You are interfering with Misty kicking Yvette's ass!
(Yvette has gotten to her feet, limping. However, the look of insane rage on her face quickly turns into a sinister smile.)
Yvette: Heh! The violence suits you my dear. I think that you like what you are becoming, oui?
(Yvette leaps toward Misty who has just moved away from the official. Yvette makes contact and sends them both to the mat. Yvette leaps on Misty, using her knees to pin her arms down and begins to choke her, banging her head against the mat. The official comes over and warns Yvette to stop. Instead, Yvette merely pushes him out of the way. He returns with full force and warns Yvette that is she does not release it, she will be disqualified. She grunts in anger and jumps up, but not before kicking Misty in the stomach.)
Andre-David: (turning towards Garry and Sandra) How can you not just admire the grace and skill of Yvette? She is so commanding - so aggressive.
Sandra: She's an evil bitch with no redeeming qualities. And she wonders why she can't get a date!
Garry: Sandra . . . !
Andre-David: (frowning) You have no style, miss. You really should know your betters.
(Yvette has been trying to walk off her limp and is in obvious pain each time she steps on her right leg. She has thrown Misty into the ropes, causing the girl to fly back in Yvette's arms, and the French terror begins to apply the sleeper. Sherry shouts something out and Misty quickly reacts by dropping Yvette to the mat, causing Yvette's head to hit the top of Misty's. Yvette falls backwards and Merci, Kayla and Andre-David all let out a gasp, feeling her pain. Misty quickly rises, taking advantage of her stunned opponent, and whips her into the turnbuckle. Yvette smashes with such force that Misty pounces on her with relative ease. She begins to deliver a series of chops to Yvette's ample upper chest, and the pain shows on Yvette's face with every hit. Satisfied at the hits on Yvette, she turns the her opponent around, and begins smashing her head on the turnbuckle. After delivering four successive hits, Yvette forehead shows a trickle of blood and a very stunned look on her face. Yvette falls to the mat.)
Sandra: Misty is climbing the cage. What is she doing? This is not an 'escape match!'
Garry: Lord! She intends to deliver a leg drop from the top of the cage! Yvette move!
(Misty drops from the top of the cage and drops her leg across Yvette's chest. The ring shakes and Yvette is forced up into a sitting position as the wind is knocked out of her and she suddenly falls back onto the mat. Misty jumps up and begins to knock Yvette around the ring. Misty is unaware that the blows, while painful, are allowing the French terror to regain her wind. Misty, apparently desiring to draw more blood, cracks Yvette's skull onto the turnbuckle several more times. With all her strength, however, Yvette draws herself as close to the turnbuckle as she can, putting as much of a gap as possible between herself and Misty. She then, with rabbit-like quickness, delivers a backward kick into the gut of Misty with such force that it sends her back onto the mat. It is Yvette's turn to pounce. She jumps over and grabs Misty by the hair. She lifts Misty to Yvette's waste and, holding her steady, begins to deliver a series of punches to her face. By holding her hair, Misty is unable to squirm away. This merely causes Yvette to laugh and cackle, as the blood runs down her forehead.)
Andre-David: (lighting up a cigarette) Bravo, Yvette! Bravo!
Yvette: (panting and breathing heavily) Shut up, you idiot!
(Yvette clearly wants payback for the blood that has been spilled. She draws back her fist as far as she can and lets Misty have it right in the nose. A spurt of crimson shoots forth from Misty's nose. Yvette cackles as she continues to slap Misty's face, screaming obscenities.)
Sherry: You bitch!
Andre-David: Now, now, Ms. Sherry. Don't worry, we'll take good care of her when she is brought back to Castle Malreaux, tonight. (Andre-David wisely places himself behind Kayla should Sherry decide to take offense at his taunts.)
(Misty is down and Yvette leaps on top of her, hooking Misty's lag. The official begins to count.)
Sandra: Misty kicks out after 2! Good God, those two are going to kill one another. Both women are bleeding!
Garry: Yeah, this is getting as wild as I thought. Of course, I love seeing Sherry suffer! Hah!
(Yvette, now furious that Misty got out of the pin and the fact that all the fans are cheering her name, gives Misty a stomp to the head, right on her bloody nose. Misty jolts up and screams in pain. Yvette looks back at Sherry and points to Misty. Then she kicks again, eliciting another scream. Misty is only able to writhe in pain at this point. With amazing quickness Yvette scales the top ropes of the ring and prepares to leap.)
Sandra: God, no! She is going to try that 'French Tickler!' That move should be banned!
Garry: "Say 'Good night, Gracie!'"
(Yvette leaps from the top rope and Misty raises her leg, driving her foot into Yvette's mouth. An explosion of blood comes from the French woman's mouth and she flies back against the cage and slumps over on the mat. Misty begins to stir and come to her feet.)
Garry: Damn! Yvette never misses with that move! How did she miscalculate?
Sandra: First time for everything!
Garry: True. You MIGHT get a date and Sherry MIGHT learn to play fair.
(Misty, with some revived strength, wipes the blood from her nose even though it continues to flow. She leaps up and screams in anger. She manages to get to Yvette as soon as the French woman rises. Yvette takes a week swing at Misty, but Misty manages to deliver an uppercut to the face and then the gut. Yvette slumps over on Misty's shoulder. Misty clutches Yvette by her tight outfit and lifts her up for the suplex.)
Sandra: Yvette is going for the ride!
Merci: Yvette, you better do something!
Kayla: (giving Merci a dirty look) Of course, she better 'do something,' you idiot!
(Misty slams Yvette's back on the mat and Yvette merely convulses in pain. Misty hooks Yvette's leg and the official counts. However, right as he is about to count to three, she releases, much to the chagrin of the crown and Sherry. The look on Misty's face is sheer anger and fury.)
Sherry: (screaming) Misty, what are you doing? Put her away!
Misty: (screaming back) No, Sherry, this bitch burned my house, destroyed my most valuable possessions, and needs to be put out of the federation! I am not done with her by a long shot!!
(Andre-David, Kayla and Merci all huddle with looks of serious concerns on their faces. They begin muttering and squabbling with one another.)
Sandra: Garry, Misty has snapped. She might kill Yvette!
Garry: That would not be good! Call security!
Sherry: Misty, calm down!
(Misty is ignoring everyone except her prey. She lifts Yvette up in her arms and drags her to the cage and proceeds to bang Yvette's head against the steel, repeatedly. She then throws Yvette to the mat with a chokehold, beginning to squeeze the life out of her. After a flurry of blows to the face, head and chest, the official attempts to break the attack. She merely pushes him away. She continues to give Yvette a beating.)
Yvette: (delirious yet smiling) Misty, you see, I have turned you into the brutal savage that you see me as. Even if you beat me, I have still won! Ha!
Misty: (suddenly in tears, releasing her and backing away with a look of shock and terror on her face) Why?! Why did you do this to me, Yvette?!
Yvette: (sitting up and dragging herself to the cage) You DARE ask me what you did to deserve this?! You DARE ask me that?! You were instrumental in taking away the only thing that made any difference to me - the Celestial Title! I have nothing and that was all that ever mattered to me! It was in my grasp you little wench, and you prevented me from having it. I detest you for that! Now, I have decided to take my revenge by taking everything from you!
Misty: (looking sickened) My God . . . what have I done? (tears begin to run down her cheeks)
(Misty turns around as if to see what she should do next. However, this proved to be a fatal flaw. Yvette, who had apparently only been pretending to be hurt leapt through the air and tackled Misty from behind. As Yvette smashes Misty's face into the mat, Yvette is at eye level with Sherry. Yvette smiles and licks the blood from around her mouth. She stares into Sherry's eyes as she delivers Misty's head onto the canvass.)
Sandra: Yvette wasn't nearly as hurt as we thought she was!
Garry: Whaddya mean 'we?'
Yvette: (looking down at Misty then up at Sherry) Now, I end this - for both of you!
(Yvette delivers two soccer-style kicks to Misty's gut and then one to the head. Misty falls back in pain. She turns to Sherry and seems to be crying. Sherry can't bear to watch. Yvette kicks Misty so hard that she rolls across the mat. The look of insane furry is very clear on Yvette's face. Yvette runs over to her comrades outside of the ring, and whispers something to them. They begin to laugh.)
Garry: It looks like Yvette has this well in hand now, eh Sandra?
Sandra: Shut up! You are just as twisted as she is!
(Seeing Misty rise to her feet, Yvette uses her martial arts training to do a series of backflips towards Misty then executes a perfect drop kick to her head. This sends her flying back against the steel and the entire cage shakes. Yvette jumps to her feet and looks at Misty. The only way she is still standing is because she is leaning against the cage. Yvette delivers several savate kicks to Misty - her chest, her throat, and her head - until finally she falls. Yvette begins to parade around the ring as Misty lays motionless. Yvette holds her arms up in a 'Y' formation - her self-proclaimed symbol of victory. She then mounts Misty's back and begins to apply her dreaded 'Bastille.')
Sandra: That bitch intends to break her back!
Garry: Oh, well, uh, all she has to do is submit!
Sandra: Misty never submits! Oh, God! By the look on Yvette's face she knows it, too! Ref, just end the match!
Garry: What?! And end Yvette's fun? (smiling, folding his hands and looking smug) Society must be protected and Misty is a menace to society!
(Yvette continues to apply the pressure with a smile of pure sadism. The official, looking clearly nervous, continues to ask Misty if she submits. With every ounce of strength, she shakes her head in between to horrific screams. Yvette just laughs, not even interested in gaining the win by submission. She is just interested in applying pressure and pain. Misty is too weak to even make it towards the ropes. Sherry is speechless.)
Yvette: (turning her head towards Sherry) Who is the amateur now, eh, mon ami? Can an 'amateur' do this?! (to prove her point, Yvette reaches down with all her strength and tries to snap Misty's back. All Misty can do is scream and cry in pain.) Ha! Break, you little brat! Break!
(After a few more moments of this, Yvette laughs and releases the hold. The crowd is screaming in fear for what the French maniac will do next. The only movement coming from Misty is her spasms of pain. She rolls Misty over and buries her boot into Misty's nose, further blooding it. Misty is nothing more than a ragdoll at this point - a lifeless toy.)
Sandra: Have some pity, Yvette! Just pin her and be done with it!
Yvette: This is my newest move, debuting for everyone in attendance - especially for my loyal fans. I call it 'The Third Estate!'
(Yvette lifts up the listless Misty and begins to put her in a tombstone piledriver. However, before Yvette makes the drop, she slips her right hand between Misty's legs and uses it to force Misty's body into the mat even further, as her neck and head hit the mat. The pain from the crotch shot and the impact onto the mat, sends Misty into oblivion. The crowd goes silent as Misty does not move. Yvette stands, places a boot on Misty's stomach and the official counts to three, with each number Yvette shouting with him. The bell rings.)
Sandra: Thank God! It's over! Misty is unconscious. She did not even stir as the count occurred. I have never seen Misty get beaten this badly.
Announcer: And here is your winner, the NEW TV Title Champion - The Marquise Yvette DeSade Malreaux!
(The crowd erupts into cheers and boos as Yvette lifts her arms in ecstatic victory. She walks to the cage and Kayla hands her the white riding crop. Sherry runs to the entrance, prepared to stop any further humiliation, pain or indignity upon Misty. Yvette meets the official as he is unlocking the gate and grabs the key out of his hand. Before he can react, she has shoved it through the cage to Kayla who, in turn, hurls it into the crowd. Yvette approaches Misty , who is barely moving, bends down, takes the crop and brushes it gingerly across her cheek.
Yvette: I should beat you like a creature lower than a dog! However, I choose not to do so. I do have some compassion for you. I have taken your title and that is enough for now. Besides, I want my newest scullery maid to be in relatively good health to serve me well.
(Yvette picks her up by the hair and shoves her against the cage door. Misty, after receiving the worst punishment of her life, merely slumps against the cage, sobbing, and Sherry sticks her hand through the cage in tears trying to console her. Meanwhile, Yvette makes her escape over the top of the cage, by leaping to the middle and flipping over the top, landing gracefully, in a martial arts move. The rest of her cadre gathers around shouting celebratory cheers. Yvette and her crew ascend the ramp with the belt over her shoulder. She points back to the ring and shouts.)
Yvette: Tomorrow morning, Misty! Bright and early! Bring your personal items as you will be staying for an extended period!
Sandra: Dammit! Yvette Malreaux wins by pinfall. She is our new Television champion.
Garry: And what a fine example she will set! And poor Misty. No new dream house. No revenge and best of all, Yvette's new maid!
(An extra key to the cage has been produced and the door is opened. Misty falls into the arms of Sherry as they both begin to sob. The camera fades into the ad for the Royal Rumble, later tonight.)