Samantha Staffer vs. Patricia Flex
We enter the BRA arena to find the place in chaos. Fans are tearing their hair out as they chant and cheer for more action. The fan base for this great organization has grown to one of the most loyal in the industry. They bring signs and placards in support of their favorites. These signs usually contain some sort of catchy phrase. Signs reading: 'I love Gina Moore more than you know!'; 'Sakura Ito is neat-o!'; and 'Amanda Star is a star!' dot the landscape. There is a lyrical tone to the support of the fans. Our cameras come to rest on the recognizable faces of Kenny Harber and Carrie Trammel, the well-known BRA announce staff.
Kenny: Interesting match next. We will see Patricia Flex face off against Samantha Staffer. I am very excited to see how the bigger Samantha does against the technically sound Flex.
Cari: Well, I'm not really even interested in this match at all. Staffer is too good for my taste, and Flex is too crazy for my taste.
Kenny: Be that as it may, I believe these two are going to give us a great match. I can't wait.
Cari: Our folks in the truck are trying to tell me that we have Patricia Flex backstage and she has something to say.
Flex: Staffer, I'm at a confusing time in my BRA career. A turning point if you will. But Im not confused enough to lose to the likes of you. They say you have a degree, something I find hard to believe. They say you are beautiful...again I beg to differ. You know the drill. Lay down, let the referee count 1 2 3, and we can all go home and get on with our lives. Good night!
Kenny: Patricia Flex is starting to creep me out.
Cari: I want to know what Staffer's degree is in.
Flex walks almost seductively to the ring, clad in her favourite long blue leotard. She's carrying something small in her left hand, a black handbag. Patricia slips into the ring, in a fashion designed to appeal to those of a male persuassion in the crowd, they seem suitably impressed!
Kenny: Patricia Flex looks ready for the match. And what does she have in that bag?
Cari: Hopefully some sleeping pills.
Kenny: Why is that?
Cari: I could take a little nap during this match.
Kenny: Do they pay you much?
Cari: Not enough to watch this match.
The lights go dim and Samantha struts out to Queens 'Another one Bites the Dust'. She is dressed in a skin tight short suit in shiny black with tall black leather boots, her hair is braided in a single braid down the back to keep it out of the way. She wears a baseball cap with Thirtysomething on the front She looks cool and confident and greets the crowd with a wave and a smile. Behind her on the jumbotron are glimpses of her past fights, both with Peggy and solo fights.. The crowd roars it's approval.
Kenny: One of my favorite songs.
Cari: And she has to go and ruin it for you?
Kenny: That's not what I was going to say.
Ding
Kenny: Our two warriors lock up in the centre of the ring, Flex clearly using her superior strength and size to force Flex back to the corner. The referee calls for a break and the two separate.
Cari: They can't even tie up properly.
Kenny: The two women lock up again, and this time Staffer is able to apply a hammerlock to Flex. She sweeps the legs out from under Flex and gets the smaller woman to the mat. Staffer is really putting the pressure on Flex.
Cari: These amateur moves are just so dull.
Kenny: Staffer pulls Flex to her feet�Irish whip to the ropes�and a perfectly placed drop kick! Down goes Flex!
Cari: I'm not excited.
Kenny: Staffer pulling Flex back up�European uppercut. And she follows that up with another European uppercut. Excellent power wrestling being demonstrated by Samantha Staffer.
Cari: Now that's what I like to see�good old brawling.
Kenny: Staffer again pulling Flex to her feet�another Irish whip to the ropes�clothesline�wait! Staffer misses with the clothesline�
Cari: Flex got wise to that move.
Kenny: Flex on her way back�Flying clothesline! Staffer almost got her head taken off!
Cari: That's because Flex didn't telegraph her clothesline.
Kenny: Flex lifts Staffer off the mat and holds her up�ohhh and a slap to the face. And one to the other side. Flex trying to humiliate Samantha Staffer.
Cari: Her wrestling skills were doing that enough already.
Kenny: Flex whips Staffer to the ropes and hits her with a flying crossbody! She has Staffer down for the cover�
Cari: Only a two count. Staffer should have stayed down and spared all of us the pain of having to watch this match.
Kenny: Flex lifting staffer back up.
Flex: For a graduate you are REALLY dumb!
Cari: She has a good point.
Kenny: Flex sending Staffer to the ropes�there's a swinging neck breaker! Staffer is hurt. That move will take a lot out of anyone.
Cari: It never hurt me that much.
Kenny: Flex lifting Staffer off the mat�again sending her to the ropes�and a flying headscissors on the way back! Flex is starting to gain a lot of momentum.
Cari: And she's using the bigger woman's momentum against her. That's good strategy.
Kenny: Flex again going for the cover�
Cari: 1 2 3�No! Staffer has a foot on the bottom rope. Flex complains to the ref, but he made the right call, for a change.
Kenny: Our officials are the best in the business.
Cari: Kind of like me.
Kenny: Sure. Flex has Staffer down and is applying a leg lock chokehold. Staffer is really doing all she can to get some air in her lungs. She might be in trouble.
Cari: She's turning blue.
Kenny: Staffer in a heap of trouble. Flex has the leg lock locked in. Staffer struggling to get loose.
Cari: Keep struggling.
Kenny: The ref checking for a submission�and Staffer is fighting to get Flex's legs apart.
Cari: I'm told several of Flex's boyfriends have done the same.
Kenny: Wow, you should do standup.
Cari: Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Kenny: And while you were trying to be funny, Staffer has managed to get loose. She's on the mat struggling to get up. Flex is on her feet. She lifts Staffer up�and receives a shot to the face from the resurgent Staffer�and there's another�and another! The crowd is on its feet! They are cheering for Staffer!
Cari: Why?
Kenny: Staffer sends Flex to the ropes�powerslam on the return! Staffer is up�and drops the knee to the chest of Flex!
Cari: Cover by Staffer�one two thr�kickout by Flex.
Kenny: Both women looking the worse for ware. Staffer again hauls Flex to her feet�positions her�piledriver! She spiked Flex. That might be it! The fans are going crazy!
Cari: Another cover�1 2 oh so close.
Kenny: Staffer almost gets the win. She pulls Flex back to her feet�low blow from Flex!
Cari: She used every last bit of strength in her body to do that. And she immediately goes to her patented finisher�the Face Lift.
Kenny: She's putting the pressure on. Staffer is taping out. She fought a great match, but just could not hold on.
Cari: And Flex is refusing to break the hold. Finally she does.
Kenny: Samantha may be hurt. Flex is going back to that handbag she brought to the ring with her�she has a camera. She's taking pictures of Samantha.
Cari: Why?
Flex: Say Cheese!!!
Kenny: I suspect Staffer will be pretty angry about this.
Cari: Does this mark a new, more sadistic turn in Flex's career?
Winner - - - Patricia Flex