A Little Slice of *Perfection*
By ToneDef
[We come back from the commercial break to survey the sell out crowd at the Battling Ring Angels arena, all of them on their feet, screaming for their favorites and waving their signs, genuinly pleased with the level of competition that they have so far seen. Some of the apparent signs are ‘TIFFANY LANE IS MY KIND OF LADY’, ‘SEDUCE ME, SISTERS’, and ‘BODY SHOP QUARTET’. The camera spins around to focus on the announcers table at ringside.]
Sandra Allistair: "What a great night we’ve had so far, and it can only keep on getting better!"
Garry Grimoire: "This will be a night to remember…the smirks wiped off the faces of those disgusting Shoppers! I’m surprised that they haven’t been expelled from the league yet, for their disrespectful ways!"
Sandra: "Our next match is…"
[All of a sudden the lights dim, and the sounds of twinkling stars and awe music fill the arena. Several of the fans already start to cheer, knowing who is coming out. The blood red letters ‘THE DREAM’ spin and solidify on the jumbotron located above the entrance ramp. Then, there is a huge burst of light at the entrance ramp, the music changes to ‘NOOKIE’, by Limp Bizkit, and Lisa Dream exits the dressing room area, wearing a black leather halter top and some black leather pants. Around her waist is the BRA Celestial Belt.]
Sandra: "What is she doing here?!? She is not scheduled to be here tonight!"
Garry: "Any time we are graced with *perfection* is a good time indeed! I, for one, am glad she came out, I was getting sick of looking at all these overweight slobs who call themselves womens wrestlers!"
Sandra: "Better hope that Laura Parker didn’t hear you say that…"
[Lisa arrogantly surveys the crowd, most of which are booing her. However, a small portion of the sell out crowd is cheering for her, impressed by her ability and her charm despite her arrogance. In her hands she holds a microphone, and she raises it to her lips as she makes her way to the ring.]
Lisa Dream: "That’s right, all you lucky DREAM-o-phobics, your night has been justified with a visit from your All American Sweetheart! I was not scheduled for this card…a massive oversight on the part of the bookers, I might add…but I knew that all of you paid those high prices in the hopes of a glimpse of *perfection*, so here I am, making your night all worth it!"
Sandra: "Give me a break…"
Garry: "What a great woman…look at how kind and considerate she is, taking time out of her busy schedule to come and please her hordes of fans."
Sandra (rolls eyes): "Oh, Please…"
Lisa: "So this is all going out to my loyal fans, those that have been with me since the beginnning…all of you who wish that they were as CUNNING as the Dream, as SMART as the Dream and as BEAUTIFUL as the Dream!"
"All of you saw me at the Royal Rumble…all of you saw exactly what the BRA Icon is capable of! I was a one woman wrecking crew in there, tossing women out right and left, outlasting 10 of the best angels to become your first Celestial Champion! I now hold the Battling Ring Angels Celestial belt, a true description of what I am capable of, and I owe it all to you, my loyal fans! Without any of you, this would not have been possible! And now all of these ridiculous peons in the Battling Ring Angels must acknowledge that, though I am all of your greatest DREAM, I am all of their greatest Nightmare!"
Garry: "You say it, Lisa! Damn, is she ever hot…"
Sandra: "Give me a break. The only way she won that Celestial title was by hiding under the ring until everyone else had been eliminated! That is cowardice by my standards!"
Garry: "Cowardice? Lisa? What have you been smoking, Sandra. She was resting outside of the ring, a smart tactic in that type of match! She couldn’t help it that everyone else threw eachother out before she could get back in!"
Lisa: "Now, I know that a lot of you know what I am capable of…but some of you doubt my worthiness to hold this very belt! You think that I will hide behind it, that I will never put it on the line! Well, Feast your eyes and Fantasize, fools, for I will put the title on the line whenever and wherever! In fact, tonight, because I am in such a good mood, I will give a title shot right here, right now, to the lady that I feel is the number one contendor!"
[The crowd cheers wildly at this proclamation, and Lisa lets them quieten down before continuing]
Lisa: "To the leader of the Body Shop….to SHERRY ANNE! Get your butt down here…you have won the DREAM sweepstakes!"
Sandra: "My god! I don’t believe this! This crowd is going nuts!"
Garry: "Still think that she’s a coward, Sandra? This is gonna be great, I can’t wait to see the BRA Icon wipe the smirk off of that Shoppers face!"
[‘Thunderstruck’ by ACDC blares over the arena’s loudspeakers as Sherry Anne exits from the dressing room area, wearing her skimpy black bikini and black thigh high leather boots. The crowd cheers, but they stop, for the lady up on the stage may be dressed like Sherry Anne, and have the same hair as her, but she is grossly overweight.]
Lisa Dream: "Come on down, Sherry Anne! If you can defeat me in this here very ring, you win the Celestial Belt!"
Sandra: "Th…this is a travesty! That isn’t Sherry Anne! That’s just some slob dressed up like the Body Shop leader!"
Garry: "What are you talking about?!? That’s Sherry….she’s put on a little weight, yeah, but that is her!"
[The parody of Sherry Anne makes her way into the ring, and Lisa orders for the bell to be rung as she tosses away the microphone]
Ding Ding Ding
Sandra: "I don’t think that Sherry is going to be too happy with this mockery…this is despicable, what is Lisa trying to prove here?!?"
Garry: "This is gonna be great, seeing Sherry get everything that she deserves here! She has no chance against perfection incarnate!"
[‘Sherry goes to lockup with Lisa, but Lisa solidly kicks the parody in the stomach, doubling her over. Lisa follows it up with a flashkick, a back handspring which catches ‘Sherry’ under the chin with her feet, sending her down to the mat]
Sandra: "The crowd doesn’t know how to take this, they all know this for the charade that it truly is!"
Garry: "Lisa is our celestial champion, Sandra, and you should give her the respect she deserves! Lisa pulls the Shop leader to her feet, whips her into the ropes….Hurricanrana!"
Sandra: "This is a joke. Lisa has no need to make a mockery of Sherry like this."
[Lisa smirks, and playfully smacks ‘Sherry’ a couple of times in the head, mocking her some more. She then turns to the crowd, and does a little bump and grind dance for their benefit.]
Lisa: "Who’s your Sweetheart?!?"
Garry: "She pulls Sherry to her feet, whips her into a turnbuckle…walks over…does a series of slaps to Sherry’s face, then blows a kiss to the crowd, and backhands Sherry across the face!"
Sandra: "Ever the showboat…when is this going to be over?"
[Lisa hiptosses Sherry out of the corner…then, with a smile, stands over ‘Sherry’’s fallen body. She does a bump and grind dance for the crowds, then bounces herself off of one set of ropes, runs to the opposite ropes and does a moonsault off of them, onto ‘Sherry’s fallen body]
Garry: "The *perfect* splash! What a move…the most electrifying move in the history of sports entertainment today!"
Sandra: "Lisa is skilled, I can’t contest that, but doing stunts like this totally downplays what it is she can do in the ring!"
[Lisa goes for the cover. 1…2….Lisa pulls the Sherry look-a-like’s head up, breaking the count. Lisa smiles for the crowd, pulls the mockery to her feet, and, jumping up, wraps her legs around ‘Sherrys’ head]
Garry: "Here it comes! The Day Dreamer! She signals to the crowd, and then drops to the mat, brutally driving Sherry’s head into the ground! My god, what a deadly move!"
Sandra: "I deny comment here…anyone can beat on someone paid to do so."
Garry: "What are you insinuating? As if the real Sherry could do any better against the Battling Ring Angels Icon!"
[Lisa arrogantly places a foot across the actresses chest and blows a kiss to the crowds as the referee makes the count. 1…2…3]
Ding Ding Ding
Sandra: "Well, it’s finally over…I guess that Lisa is sending a message to Sherry and the rest, that she does not fear any of them through this stunt!"
Garry: "Who would possibly be afraid of the shop? Lisa grabs a microphone from ringside."
Lisa: "Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, you all got what you came here for! A hard fought battle in the ring featuring your All American Sweetheart and the number one contendor! And, of course, a victory for the one, the only, epitamy of perfection!"
[Lisa kicks the prone body of ‘Sherry’ until the actress is rolled out of the ring from the force of the blows]
Lisa: "Sherry, you do not even deserve to be in the same ring as the image of human perfection! What made you think that you even had a chance against someone as gifted as myself? I used to look up to you…I used to think that you were the best out there. But how the mighty have fallen…but, then again, who truly has a chance against the BRA Icon? Against Perfection incarnate? Certainly nobody I know of! This was the number one contendor? This was the best that the league had to offer in the way of competition? Rest assured, all my little DREAM-o-phobics…I will have this belt wrapped around my luscious waist for a LONG time!"
[Lisa tosses away the microphone as ‘NOOKIE’, by Limp Bizkit, blares over the arena’s loudspeakers. Lisa does a little bump and grind dance for the benefit of the audience, and then makes her way back to the dressing room area, careful to remain out of reach of all of the hands reaching over the guardrails, hoping for a touch of perfection]
Sandra: "Well, that was certainly a waste of time. I think that Lisa just made a mockery of this very fine company…and a mockery of a lot of our top wrestlers."
Garry: "Waste of time? Anytime we get a chance to see Sherry get her butt whupped is definitely time well spent!"
Sandra: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have to take a short commercial break, but we will be right back with a REAL match for you!"
[Fade to a promotional piece on the current happenings between Jenny Anderson and Evonne Carmikel.]