Missy "The Ninja" Jones Vs. Lisa Dream

(The entire arena goes dark. A yin-yang with a sword through it appears on the Angeltron, and a hush comes over the crowd. Lights flash on and off quickly, as if there were lightning far in the distance. All is dark again, and nothing can be seen or heard but a low roll of thunder, followed by the sounds of an electric organ. Jim Morrison joins in with the Doors, singing "Riders on the Storm" and the lights pulse dimly. A figure clad in all black flies out of the crowd and over the guardrail, to oohs and ahhs from the fans. )

Kenny: And we are ready for our first match. Here comes "The Ninja" Missy Jones, one of the superstars of BRA.

(Then the timekeeper's table flips over, revealing another slender, powerful figure, also in black, and the crowd is suddenly confused. The first ninja jumps into the ring. The second, slightly taller ninja stands outside the ring. Both keep on their entire uniforms, masks included.)

Kenny: (checking his laptop) I'm trying to distinquish who this second figure is but my computer hasn't a clue!

(rolls her eyes) The other ninja is obviously Gina, Missy's good friend. Geez! Can't you keep up?

Kenny: Uh...well then, it would seem that the Poet is backstage with BRA's own Garry Grimoire and Candi Kane. (smiles) Take it away, guys.

(In the backstage area, the New York Poet sluggishly slinks out of the dressing room, to meet the newly demoted interviewer Garry Grimoire, along with the reporter Candi Kane, who is taking notes for her column.)

Poet: Hello Garry. I had a poem for Lisa Dream, but I'm just too depressed to read it.

Garry: Howcome? (he broods) It's not like YOU lost your job to two people who don't even have HALF the talent in their whole bodies that YOU have in your little finger!

Candi: Shush, maybe he just realized he's a total dork and he's ready to apologize.

Poet: Damn, you're right, I AM a total dork! With all the tall, handsome guys out there, how could someone as lovely and talented as Missy ever love a total geek like me? I'll probably end up alone, or with some psychotic egomaniac like Lisa Dream.

Garry: What! Well, I'm glad we all agree about you being a dork. Now let's go back to those no-talent losers they replaced me with.

(the scene fades and opens back to ringside)

Kenny: Well, that was....

Cari: (yawns) Pointless. At least it looks like we won't be seeing that annoying Poet at ringside!

Kenny: At any rate, it looks like the former Celestial Champion is on her way!

(All of the lights in the arena dim as flashing strobelights highlight the entrance from the dressing room area. Smoke sweeps the entrance ramp as the jumbotron located above the Gates of Heaven displays a room with chains hanging from the ceiling, a black and white scene that the camera slowly moves through. The beginning of 'SUPERSTAR', by Cypress Hill, plays over the arena's loudspeakers�then, as soon as the heavy guitars begin, there is an explosion of pyrotechnics, and Lisa Dream emerges through the smoke to a huge reaction to the crowd. Some boo her, some cheer her, but all make some noise in relation to the gothic beauty. Wearing her typical black leather halter top and black leather pants combination, Lisa looks at the crowd with a far off expression in her eyes while on the entrance ramp. She then makes her way to the ring.

As soon as she enters the ring, Lisa scowls at the referee and Missy, and orders a microphone to be brought to her from ringside. It is quickly produced, and, surveying the crowd, Lisa raises the microphone to her black painted lips.)

Lisa: "All of you BRA spectators are in for a treat tonight�that is right, you get to see me finally enact some vengence onto this pitiful creature purporting herself as a wrestler. Missy Jones, you fool, you do not know what you have signed onto here. YOU are the one responsible for sending me to the Detonvale Clinic, and YOU are the one responsible for my ever so enlightening revelation. You will pay for this, Ninja�.you can bring as many fools to the ring with you tonight, you can hide as many foreign objects on your person as you can, and it will still make no difference. I am going to make you PAY for what you have created, and I will savor your screams for my mercy when I am tossing you from one corner of that ring to the next like the sad rag doll that you are."

"I am going to hurt you, girl, and make you realize that you never should have opposed me. What do all of you, the ever so fickle fans, think? You think that Missy Jones has a chance against me? Oh, I know none of you really care about it�all you care about is another display of skin, but that is NOT going to be happening tonight! None of you deserve to see more of me than I see fit, and only by a sheer stroke of luck will this sad little rookie get the opportunity tonight. You are in the valley of the DREAM, darling, for which there is no escape, and you will only be given mercy when you beg it from me."

(This said, Lisa drops the microphone to the mat, and, backing up into a corner, Lisa reclines against the turnbuckle, a far off expression in her eyes as she waits for the match to begin.)

Kenny: Wow! This promises to be quite a match. With the hatred between these two, my stats say that the possibility of a double DQ is high!

DING! DING! DING!

Kenny: And the bell sounds as both women warily circle one another.

Cari: This should be a good match. Both women hate one another with a passion. I expect tons of broken bones and blood. (smiles) I can hardly wait!

(Suddenly, Lisa charges at Missy and takes her down with a drop kick to the face. Stunned, the Ninja falls to her knes, clutching her face. Wasting no time, Lisa rises to her feet and grabs the Ninja, sending her flying into the ropes. As Missy rebounds, Lisa catches her with a lightning fast hurricanrana, pinning her shoulders to the mat.)

Kenny: Great move by Dream! (tapping on his nearby laptop) My stats say that, if Lisa keeps up her high flying assault, she has a 86.5 chance of beating Missy Jones.

(The ref slaps the mat but Missy kicks out before the two count. As she slowly makes it to her feet, Lisa flies at her with a cross body block.)

Kenny: Uh oh! Looks like the Ninja is in trouble again!

Cari: (smirks) Think again, monkey boy!

(Missy catches Lisa in mid-air and dumps her across her knee with a crushing backbreaker. Lisa clutches the small of her back as Missy attacks her with a flurry of kicks and stomps.)

Missy: "I am your nightmare, Dream!"

Cari: Ha! And Missy's adding a little bad mouth to those kicks and stomps. I love it! I think I like this Jones girl!

(Missy grabs a handful of Lisa's hair and roughly yanks her to her feet. She slaps Dream across the face several times before punching her in the stomach. She then grabs the winded Lisa and administers an atomic drop. Missy then clotheslines Lisa, sending her falling to the mat.)

Cari: Now, Missy drops a leg across Dreams throat and attempts a cover.

Kenny: Kick out by Lisa Dream. My stats tell me that, in Lisa's present condition, Missy has a 28.9 percent chance of putting her away.

Cari: (rolls her eyes) Whatever! And now Missy is punishing Lisa's legs with stomps and kicks. Good strategy. Missy knows that she has to take away the smaller, faster girl's legs, thereby deceasing Dream's speed.

(Missy grabs Lisa by the legs and signals to Gina. Gina nods and Missy administers a figure four leg lock. Lisa grimaces in pain as Missy cinches the hold, adding pressure to the smaller woman's legs. The ref checks with Lisa, asking if she wants to submit.)

Lisa: Never! I would never submit to this insignificant peon!

Missy: (snarls) Shut up, psycho!

Kenny: Yowza! There's some real venom in those words!

Cari: What else do you expect, moron!?! If Jones had gotten me locked up, in that Detonvale place, I would hate her guts too!

(Lisa cries out in pain as Missy continues the lethal move. The gothic beauty attempts to claw at Missy's legs but to no avail. Her attire protects her from Lisa'a talons. Sweat glistening from her brow, Lisa frantically looks about for a means of escape. Seeing the ropes, the gothic beauty begins to inch her way towards them.)

Kenny: It looks like Lisa is trying to tag those ropes.

Cari: She's actually managing to drag the Ninja along with her. I'm impressed. I guess it's true what people say. Never underestimate the power of a despearate woman.

(Missy continues to apply the hold but looks on in vain as Lisa almost reaches the ropes. Stretching her arms out, Lisa is mere inches from the ropes when Gina pulls them from out of her reach.)

Cari: Ha! How's that for shattering Dream's dreams? Gina still owes Lisa for that beatdown a few month's ago at her apartment. I guess it's also true that payback is a...

Kenny: (flustered) Cari! (returning his attention to the match) Well, it looks like the ref is admonishing Gina, warning her not to try anything else. In the meantime, Dream has grabbed the ropes and the ref is ordering Missy to break the figure four.

(Missy reluctantly releases the hold as a dazed Lisa slowly crawls to her feet. But before she can even stand properly, Missy drop kicks her in the knees, causing her to slump to the mat.)

Cari: Good girl! Missy is really working those legs over. Now, she whips Lisa to the ropes and....

Kenny: Wow! Spinning heel kick!

(The fans POP as Lisa rebounds from the ropes and surprises the Ninja with a spinning heel kick to the face. Missy falls to the mat as Lisa drags her to the ropes and begins to viciously choke Missy on the top rope.)

Kenny: The ref is warning Lisa about the chokehold and she threatens him!

Cari: Way to go, Dream! Kick his ass too! (smiles) I like both of these girls!

(Lisa next rocks the Ninja with a few well placed kicks to the chest and stomach, followed by a chop across Missy's chest that resonates throughout the arena.)

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kenny: Yikes! I think they heard that chop in the cheap seats.

(Missy winces, in pain, as Lisa whips her across the ring. As the larger woman rebounds off of the ropes, Lisa surprises her with a dropkick to the stomach that sends Missy flying outside of the ring and at Gina's feet.)

Cari: Now, it looks like a bad Bruce Lee movie as the two ninjas converge.

(Gina races to Missy's side and begins to help her to her feet. Unknown to either woman, Lisa mounts the top turnbuckle and flies off with a sommersault plancha, crushing both women on the loosely padded, arena floor.)

Crowd: Holy (bleep)! Holy (bleep)! Holy (bleep)!

Kenny: Wow! Impressive move by Dream!

Cari: Impressive but dumb. It not only knocked the wind outa the two ninjas but it took Dream out as well.

Kenny: At this point, I don't think Lisa's even concerned about her own safety.

(Lisa slowly makes it to her feet and grabs Missy Jones, sending the Ninja crashing into the steel, ringside steps. Missy grimaces in pain as she slumps to the ground. Lisa adds a kick to the downed Gina's ribs, for good measure, before making her way towards Missy. Lisa grabs Missy by the head and slams her face first into the ringside steps.)

Cari: (laughs) Oh! That's gotta hurt!

(Lisa then goes over to the announcer's table and grabs a nearby, steel chair.)

Kenny: Hey! What are you doing, Dream?

Lisa: (holding the chair up in a menacing fashion) Shut up before I use it on you, fool!

(Kenny quickly quiets as Lisa advances upon Jones.)

Cari: Ha! She told you, Mr. Cyber Geek!

(Lisa holds the chair aloft and grins at an ailing Missy Jones.)

Lisa: It's time you pay for crossing me, fool!

Missy: Get outta my face, you nasty-ass, gothic hag!

(Lisa prepares to send the chair crashing upon Missy but is surprised as the Ninja springs to her feet and spin kicks the chair, sending the metal object crashing into Lisa's face with a loud clang!)

Crowd: You (bleeped) up! You (bleeped) up! You (bleeped) up!

Kenny: I guess the fans are letting Lisa know how they feel about her actions!

(Lisa slumps to the ground, clutching her face, as Missy grabs her by the hair and roughly rolls her back into the ring. Missy follows and quickly puts Lisa in a scorpian death lock. Lisa, still dazed from the chair shot, can offer little resistance.)

Cari: Looks like Jones has Dream right where she wants her. What do yor stats say now, monkey boy?

Kenny: Hmm. It looks like Missy has a 92.335 chance of winning this match now.

(Gina cheers Missy on as Lisa struggles to escape the hold. Lisa screams in pain as Jones continues to apply the submission maneauver. Suddenly, almost from out of nowhere, Lisa finds the strength to power out of the hold, sending Missy flipping to the mat. But Missy is quickly back to her feet as Lisa has hardly risen. Missy backs Lisa into a corner, her arms raised to deliver a clubbing blow, when Dream surprises her with a swift rake to the eyes. Lisa quickly grabs Missy and slams her face first into the mat with a face buster! Sensing her opportunity, Dream races to the top turnbuckle and leaps off with a moonsault, crashing her body into Missy's larger frame. But, instead of attempting a pin, Lisa begins to viciously choke Missy and claw at her eyes. The ref warns Lisa before physically grabbing her and puling her off of Jones. As Lisa and the ref argue, Missy quickly switches places with Gina.)

Kenny: Hey! No fair! They just switched places!

Cari: (nods approvingly) The old switcheroo. Works everytime.

(Lisa shoves the ref aside and returns her attention to her opponent, only to be caught with a boot to the face from Gina. Since Gina and Missy are attired alike, the ref and Lisa are oblivious to the switch. Lisa is doubled over with a punch to the stomach as Gina follows the move with a power bomb, almost imprinting Lisa in the mat! The larger Gina next lifts Lisa overhead and sends her crashing face first into the mat with a press slam.)

Cari: Ha! Ha! Gina is getting in on the action. I guess that will teach Dream to go around running her mouth and beating people up!

(Gina covers Lisa and attempts the pin as the ref slaps the mat.)

(Lisa barely kicks out at the two and a half mark, showing that there is still fight left in the gothic beauty. Gina lefts her by the arm and sends her crashing back to the mat with a brutal, short arm clothesline. She snatches Lisa by the hair and whips her to the ropes. Gina follows Lisa only to be caught by....)

Kenny: The DreamWeaver!

(Gina cries out as Lisa back handsprings from the ropes, catching the Ninja attired woman in the chin with a kick. Gina, completely dazed, falls face first to the mat.)

Kenny: Dream attempts a cover.

Cari: But Gina isn't the legal woman.

(Lisa covers Gina and hooks the leg as the ref begins to count. Just before he can slap the mat a third time, Missy leaps upon the apron, drawing his attentions. Lisa, noticing that the ref's attentions are elsewhere, goes over to the man and shoves him aside. Lisa and the ref again argue as Missy rolls into the ring and shoves Gina out, once again switching places, Missy resuming her role as the legal combatant. As Lisa argues with the ref, Missy sneaks behind her and catches her with a kick to the knee. Missy whips Lisa to the ropes but is again shocked as the smaller woman catches her with a drop kick to the face, on the rebound.)

Kenny: Wow! Gotta love the quickness of Lisa Dream!

Lisa: Now, you will pay, you insignificant rodent!

(Lisa mounts the top turnbuckle when Missy suddenly climbs up behind her. The two women struggle on the turnbuckle before Missy punches Lisa in the stomach and brings her crashing from the top rope onto the canvas with a super brainbuster, Lisa's head impacting with hard canvas!)

Kenny: Oh my God! Did you see that? Lisa Dream is dead!

Cari: Indeed she is but Missy isn't done yet.

(Instead of covering the dazed Dream, Missy drags her to her feet and surprises her with the Daydreamer, sending Lisa's head crashing into the mat again with the lethal hurricanrana/DDT move.)

Kenny: That's the Daydreamer! That's Lisa's own move!

(Missy covers the fallen Lisa and the ref slaps the mat.)

Once

Twice

Three times!

(The bell sounds and Missy Jones is announced the winner. Gina joins Missy in the ring and the two women remove their ninja attire, revealing matching, midnight blue bikinis. They prance around the ring as the crowd POPS!)

Kenny: What a match! I hope the rest of the card is just as good as the opener.

Cari: And it ain't over yet.

Kenny: What do you mean? Oh no! Look out Missy and Gina!

(But Kenny's warning is too late as Lisa surprises the two women with a drop kick from behind. Lisa DDTs Gina and tosses her from the ring before turning her attention to Missy.)

Lisa: I will show you how it's truly done, imposter!

(Lisa whips Missy to the ropes and administers the Daydreamer, the Ninja landing awkwardly on her neck. As Missy rols around the ring, in pain, Lisa leaves the ring and begins to search under the ring apron.)

Kenny: What is she doing?

Crowd: Tables! Tables! Tables! Tables!

Cari: Just listen to the crowd.

Kenny: No! She can't... She won't...

(Just then, Lisa grabs a table and slides into the ring, the crowd cheering loudly. The gothic beauty sets up the table, in the middle of the ring, placing Missy Jones atop it. Lisa wastes no time racing up the third turnbuckle. With a sneer, she measures the unconscious Missy Jones and sails off with a twisting moonsault, sending both of their bodies crashing through the wooden table.)

Kenny: Oh my God! Both women just went crashing through that table and neither is moving!

Crowd: Holy (bleep)! Holy (bleep)! Holy (bleep)!

Kenny: My god! We need paramedics! Somebody help these two women! Please!

(The scene fades as paramedics rush into the ring, hoping to salvage both women from the wreck of broken wood and twisted limbs.)

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