Angel Dust vrs Lindsey Locke vrs Minty Flavours
By: ToneDef
[We come back from commercial to survey the Battling Ring Angels arena. The sell out crowd is on their feet, waving their signs and screaming for their favorites, hoping for a moment of glory infront of the BRA cameras. A few of the more impressive signs say: ‘BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP, BUT EVIL IS TO THE CORE!’, ‘BRING ON THE WRATH!’, and ‘HAVE YOU EVER DANCED WITH THE DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT?’. The camera spins around, to regard the announcers table at ringside.]
Cari: "What a sad night so far….and things just do not appear to be looking up…"
Kenny: "What are you talking about, Cari? Listen to this crowd! They love this! Just because these ladies do not live up to your expectations…"
Cari: "Exactly! I have yet to see one woman that could have possibly compared to me in that very ring! I should get in there, and teach them a thing or two…"
Kenny: "Well, this next match is an interesting one. A rookie 3 way match, featuring Angel Dust, Minty Flavors and Lindsey Locke!"
Cari: "More drivel…though I have to say that I like the attitude of that Angel Dust, with some proper training, she could be the best. She could be the next Cari Trammell."
Kenny: "Well, my little computer says that the odds of Angel Dust winning are not good, concerning who she is facing…she has a 17.4 percent chance of…"
Cari: "You know where you can shove that computer."
[Angel Dust is already in the ring, casually leaning against the ropes while scowling at the crowd. Flashy entrances do not appear to be her thing. Then, ‘Thirteen Times’ by Garbage, blares over the arena’s loudspeakers, and Minty Flavors exits the dressing room area. She blushes at the cheers of the crowd, and then nervously makes her way down to the ring, nervously waving to the fans.]
Kenny: "She appears to have a few butterflies (clicks away on the computer) that does not increase her chances."
Cari: "I think that Angel Dust will just have to walk away with this one."
[Minty enters the ring just as the lights go out and strobe lights flash throughout the arena. Lindsey exits the dressing room area in her usual attire, with her long hair loose, and she stands with her arms in a T, palms down. Then, there is an explosion of pyrotechnics, and she raises her arms to a V above her head, palms up. Led Zeppelin’s ‘Immigrant Song’ blares throughout the stadium as she confidentally makes her way to the ring, slapping hands with the fans on the way.]
Cari: "I hate these sweet, caring girls, you won’t make it anywhere in this league with that kind of attitude."
Kenny: "And, exactly, how far did you make it with yours, my Dear? Lindsey enters the ring, and the referee immediately signals the bell!"
Ding Ding Ding
Cari: "And Lindsey immediately goes to Angel Dust, just what I expected…Angel Dust goes for the eye rake…"
Kenny: "Lindsey grabs the hand before it can connect, and a back heelkick knocks Angel Dust down to the mat! The rookie gets back up quickly, however…but Lindsey has whipped her into the ropes, and a dropkick sends her down to the mat!"
Cari: "What luck….Minty is just sitting back, watching the attack..but she now moves in as Lindsey stands, and bulldogs the blond down to the mat!"
Kenny: "Not a bad tactic, let the others duke it out while you wait for an opening…"
[Minty follows it up with a legdrop across the blond’s face, just as Angel Dust has gotten back to her feet. Angel Dust goes for a closeline, but Minty sees it coming, and does an impressive backflip to escape the reach of the vile competitor. When Minty gets back to her feet, she shakes her head at Angel Dust and waggles her forefinger at her.]
Cari: "Nice display of athletisism from the diminutive gymnast, I know that I am rather impressed with it, and that is saying a lot!"
Kenny: "We have 2 high flyers in there, and a brawler…another reason for my calculations as to Angel Dust’s chances, a brawler can have problems making connections with those that like to run around."
Cari: "Well, Lindsey isn’t looking too perky right now, darling. She is getting to her feet, and Angel Dust is right there…another face rake, this time undefended, and Lindsey cries out."
Kenny: "Angel Dust gets Lindsey back into a corner, and begins to attack her with a series of jarring punches….this is not looking good for Lindsey!"
Cari: "This isn’t looking good for either of them!"
[Minty Flavors has gone to the opposite ringpost, and, with a smile for the crowd, she does a series of cartwheels and handstands towards the corner that Lindsey and Angel Dust are inside of. She launches into the air at the last second, splashing the two of them further back into the corner. The force of the blow knocks Angel Dust out of the corner, and Lindsey drops to one knee.]
Kenny: "What a great move, I am starting to like the prowess of Minty!"
Cari: "The gymnast pulls Angel Dust to her feet….Angel Dust with the low blow! She whips Minty into the ropes, and goes to closeline her….Minty with the baseball slide between the legs…"
Kenny: "And a flying kick takes the larger woman down!"
Minty: "What you lack in skill, you make up for in cowardly tactics."
Cari: "She couldn’t possibly be talking about the low blow, could she?"
Kenny: "I don’t think that Minty is too fond of the underhanded tactics either, my kind of girl! She pulls Angel Dust to her feet, gets her near the ropes…wait, here comes Lindsey!"
Cari: "A flying cross body block from the good girl sends all three of them over the ropes, to the concrete outside!"
Kenny: "This could get brutal!"
[Lindsey managed to land on top of the other 2, so she gets to her feet quickly and she DDT’s a standing Minty’s head down onto the concrete surface. She then pulls Angel Dust to her feet, and whips her into the ringpost, sending her to the ground. She goes to pull Minty to her feet again, but the diminutive gymnast manages to roll out of the way, and gets to her feet.]
Minty: "Woah! Let’s keep the blood on the inside, ‘Kay?"
Cari: "I don’t know what Lindsey thinks of Minty…then again, I don’t know what I think of her, she is rather unconventional…"
Kenny: "Minty’s hands are up, though, and Lindsey stays true to her non underhanded ways…she does not attack Minty, instead grabbing Angel Dust and rolling her into the ring!"
Cari: "Bah! I wonder how long it will take Lindsey to realize that you have to cheat to make it anywhere in this league…"
Kenny: "Minty enters behind Lindsey, both of them pull Angel Dust to her feet…and a double vertical suplex takes her down!"
[The two rookies then pull an ailing Angel Dust from the mat, and, whipping her into the ropes, they go for a double closeline. Angel Dust ducks under, and, when the 2 spin around, they are hit by a double closeline from Angel Dust, sending all 3 to the mat. Angel Dust gets to her feet quicker than the other 2, and begins to stomp away on Lindsey, attacking her with reckless abandon.]
Cari: "Good mental discipline from the Angel…she must be pretty hurting, but you saw how quick she got to her feet? I have to be impressed with that, if nothing else."
Kenny: "Angel Dust is really taking it to Lindsey….Minty is getting to her feet, Angel walks over…bodyslam sends Minty right back down! And then right back to Lindsey!"
Cari: "They may be rookies, but they are already not too fond of one another! Angel goes for a stomp….Lindsey grabs the foot, and takes down Angel Dust! She goes to get to her feet….Angel is quicker, and whips Lindsey into the ropes…"
Kenny: "Hurricanrana from Lindsey takes down the Angel! Lindsey quickly mounts the top rope, waits for Angel to stand…"
[As soon as Angel Dust has gotten to her feet, Lindsey launches off of the top rope with a summersault plancha, taking Angel Dust to the mat and earning her a lot of cheers from the sell out crowd. Lindsey goes for the cover…but, unnoticed by both, Minty has gotten to the top rope on the other side of the ring, and the diminutive gymnast launches off of the turnbuckle with a ‘froggy’ splash, landing on top of both of them, breaking the count.]
Cari: "Some rather impressive high flying tactics from the 2 of them…of course, neither would have worked against me in there, but it is rather worthwhile against the lesser fighters of the league…"
Kenny: "My computer here says that you had the hardest time in your wrestling career against high flyers, with a dismal 62 percent win r…"
Cari: "Cram it, buddy boy, before I make an example of you. Minty has pulled Lindsey to her feet, whips her into the ropes….and a roundhouse kick takes her down."
Kenny: "Minty is up to the top rope with some speed…Angel Dust still lying in the center of the ring, but Minty waits for Lindsey to stand…..Frankensteiner from the top rope!"
Cari: "What a devestating manuever!"
[Minty playfully does a series of rolls and summersaults to get back to her feet, and she smiles for the crowd, who are rather impressed with the rookies actions. Minty rolls Lindsey onto her back, and goes for the pin, but Lindsey manages to kick out at 2 and a half. Not at all bothered with this, Minty drops a leg across Lindsey’s throat….then, pulling her to her feet, Minty whips her into the ropes and goes to Flying Cross Body Lindsey to the mat.]
Cari: "Now there is a rookie mistake! Someone of Minty’s stature should never attempt a move like that! Lindsey manages to catch her in mid air, and holds her for a few moments!"
Kenny: "According to the computer, that Flying Cross Body only works about 22 percent of the time, it is not a very potent manuever."
Cari: "And Lindsey drops down, hitting Minty with a backbreaker! That could have snapped the smaller girl right in half!"
Kenny: "Lindsey whips Minty into the corner…and follows it up with a splash! Minty walks out of the corner, a little dazed to say the least…and a running bulldog from Lindsey takes her down!"
Cari: "Lindsey with the pin attempt, but a kickout at 2. Getting to her feet, Lindsey pulls Minty to her feet, whips her at the ropes, follows her there…and closelines her right over the top rope!"
Kenny: "Minty to the outside of the ring! But Lindsey doesn’t follow…instead, she goes to Angel Dust, who has managed to get to her feet and is standing in the corner!"
[Angel Dust sees Lindsey coming, and kicks her in the belly as she approaches. Angel Dust then reverses her position, so that Lindsey is trapped in the corner, and she attacks her with a series of punches and kicks that eventually drives the nice girl to the mat. Angel Dust gloats for the benefit of the jeering fans…and then she goes to whip Lindsey into the opposite turnbuckle.]
Cari: "Reversal from Lindsey…Angel Dust slams into the corner, Lindsey follows up with a huge splash!"
Kenny: "Lindsey moves back a few steps, the force of the blow drives Angel Dust forward, Lindsey picks her up…Spicoli Driver!"
Cari: "Some talent displayed from Lindsey, what a refreshing change from all these other hasbeens in the league…Lindsey goes for the cover, and this one goes down in the record books!"
Ding Ding Ding
Kenny: "Not a bad display from 3 of BRA’s rookies, not a bad display at all! Angel Dust was not prepared to compete against 2 high flyers, I think…"
Cari: "Minty makes it back into the ring…..Lindsey walks over…and the 2 of them shake hands! Ug, this display of comradery just makes me sick!"
Kenny: "It’s a refreshing change from what we are used to seeing….Ladies and Gents, we’ve got to take a short commercial break, but we will be right back!"
[Fade to a commercial for The Underprivileged and Underpaid E-Writers of America. Please send donations to the BRA head office with attn: ToneDef! written on the front.]
[Winner: Lindsey Locke]