Hardcore Title
Kenny: Welcome back, sports entertainment fans!
Cari: Just once I’d like to see you get in there, junior! Then maybe you would have a little more respect for the sport!
Kenny: But I love wrestling?
Cari: Then call it what it is, not what a bunch of executive idiots do!
Kenny: Umm…great! Three way match for the hardcore belt tonight! Right Cari?
Cari: If you want to call it that! We never had to label it when I was wrestling, it was always hardcore! These days you have a bunch of prima donna’s that are afraid of getting their hair messed up!
Kenny: I wouldn’t call Sandra Blake one of those, she beat some tough competition to get this belt. Cari: Better competition than she’s facing tonight, anyway! Veronica Millions!! Don’t make me gag! She’s about as hardcore as the Teletubbies! Speaking of them, isn’t Peggy Christian wrestling tonight? Kenny: You’re not being fair! I doubt Gwen Jeru will be a pushover either. Cari: We’ll see sunshine! The image of a bull suddenly appears on the Angeltron with Gwen Jeru by its side. Secretaria by Mocadades blares over the loudspeakers and the curtains part, showing two women walking down the ramp! Gwen wears her traditional crimson bra and long white pants and is accompanied by her friend, Gloreu. As they get to the ring, Gloreu holds the top rope as Gwen flips over and in. Kenny: She is looking pretty confident tonight! Cari: She is too stupid to know any better, like someone else I know! Kenny: Well, statistics show that 59.67% of all wrestlers that enter the match first end up winning! Cari weighs a brick in her hand for a moment, then shakes her head and drops it on the table. Cari: Wonder who left that here? Kenny: That’s real hardcore! "Welcome To The Jungle " starts to play over the loud speakers by Guns n Roses and out steps Victoria Adams from behind the curtains. She is dressed in a tight black leather outfit and she stands at the entrance ramp cheering the crowd on. Once the crowd is cheering loud enough Veronica Millions steps out wearing a white satin bikini and black low cut wrestling boots a gold body shop jacket and sunglasses. As Veronica and Victoria make their way to the ring they high five the fans as they walk down the ramp and Veronica walks over by Cari Trammel and blows her a kiss and then she hops into the ring where Victoria is waiting on her. Once the two of them are in the ring a bright barrage of sparklers start to go off as the crowds cheer goes through the roof. After that Veronica again walks over to the ropes and tosses her sunglasses to Cari trying to make her mad or show her up. Cari: Let’s see how cocky she is twenty minutes from now! Kenny: I have to admire the confidence these ladies show time and time again coming back into the ring! Cari: Confidence don’t win these matches! Steel bars do! Kenny: Hey! That’s pretty good! Cari: her fashion sense is as dead as she is going to be! The Body Shop is gone you twit! Dead and buried! “Maneater” by Hall and Oates is heard booming loud and clear and the crowd raises a cheer for the current hardcore champion! A tiger appears on the Angeltron as Sandra comes out in a tiger striped Brazilian cut one piece with black leggings underneath. She wears fingerless gloves and combat boots and her press on claws. Sapphire accompanies Sandra to ringside where she stands in a leather mini dress, black stiletto heels and a Bloomindales shopping bag. Sandra prances into the ring like she owns it, casting aggressive glances at both the other girls. Cari: I see someone is prepared for this match anyway! Kenny: How did that go again? Confidence don’t win…. Cari: Don’t worry about it! Call the match, if you can stand the gore! Kenny: Max Polk is our official for this match, and he looks ready to call it! Sandra still prowls around the ring, snarling at the other two, finally getting right up to Gwen. As the bell rings she quickly runs a nail right down her face with a sneer! This seems to inflame the Latin passion in Jeru! As Sandra steps back Gwen starts to charge, but Sandra is ready and turns aside fast, shoving Jeru into a startled Veronica Millions! Both women fall to the mat in a clump and Gwen, seeing nothing more than a body, jumps to her feet fast and starts to rain kicks down onto the stunned beauty. Sandra looks to the side and takes delivery of an aluminum baseball bat. Seeing Veronica unable to defend herself for the moment, Sandra takes the bat and slams it right across Jeru’s back! Cari: I told you someone was ready for this match! Kenny: I still don’t see what this has to do with wrestling! Cari: Neither does Gwen right now! Hehe! Gwen stumbles into the ropes and drops to her knees. Veronica sends her thanks by way of a boot to Sandra’s exposed mid section, dropping her gasping to her knees. Rolling quickly aside, Millions gets behind the slightly stunned tiger and picks up the fallen bat, wrapping it around Sandra’s neck from behind! She pulls back hard as Sandra’s hands try and pull the bat from her neck! Kenny: I think Veronica is learning fast about hardcore! Sandra seems in trouble! Cari: That MIGHT last another five seconds! Max Polk checks on Gwen and is tossed aside in a hurry. He gets to his feet in time to see Sandra pull Veronica off her feet with a mighty heave and toss her heavily to the mat. She staggers to her feet, holding her neck only to be sent crashing down again courtesy of a drop kick from the fiery Spaniard! Getting to her feet fast, Gwen picks up Sandra and with her head locked to her side runs to the middle of the ring and drops Sandra in a bulldog! Cari: Good wrestling, but she will need to do more to beat Blake! Kenny: Even in hardcore, a bulldog has an effectiveness rating of 63.47% Cari: This brick has effectiveness rating of 100% when used against statistic wielding nerds! Kenny: Point taken! Gwen rolls out of the ring and slides a chair from beneath the ring, placing it on the apron before starting to roll under herself. As she gets to her feet…”WHANG!!!” The chair slams into her head and the Spaniard drops to the mat! Cari: Rule one in a three-way match! There are THREE wrestlers in the ring! Kenny: It looks like she lost sight of Veronica Millions! She does not seem prepared for a three-way match! Veronica rolls Gwen to her back and prepares to go for the pin, but she sees Sandra stirring enough to stop the attempt. Getting up she runs at Sandra and plants the tiger with a dropkick to the chest before Blake can get all the way to her feet. Kenny: That’s the fun with a three-way match. Action never stops! Cari: You would not think so if you were on the OTHER side of the ropes! Veronica has found her way to the top rope. Glancing quickly at Jeru to make sure she is still down, she sees her stirring. This takes her attention away from Sandra for a moment and allows something to get slid to her on the far side! Max Polk is again checking Gwen Jeru and is again rebuffed by a swinging arm! Cari: Seems our boy has a thing for the Latin’s, eh sunshine! Kenny: He does seem to care about her welfare an awful lot! Veronica seizes the chance and leaps off the rope, spread-eagled for the splash on her still fallen opponent, but at the last moment Sandra rolls over and thrusts something up directly into Veronica’s exposed stomach! The former Body Shopper squeals with pain and rolls around the ring clutching her belly in agony! Cari: You golf wonderboy? Kenny: Umm no…why? Cari: I think that was a four iron shot! At that range I would have gone for the wedge! Still, it was effective! Sandra makes her feet, and as has been her fate this match is again sent crashing to the mat by Gwen Jeru’s head steamrollering into her stomach! Both women topple down and roll under the ropes with the momentum, dropping to the floor. As Veronica writhes in pain in the ring, Max Polk ignores her and watches outside the ropes at the two on the floor. Gwen is first up. Grabbing Sandra by the hair she hoists her up and bodyslams her hard to a ringside table! Sandra smashes through it to the floor, groaning from the impact. Gwen rolls back into the ring and grabs the aluminum bat before rolling back out again. She comes back to Sandra and raises the bat, bringing it down with force..SMASH!! It hits the metal leg of the table where milliseconds before had been the real leg of Sandra Blake! The shock jars Gwen enough for Sandra to lash out with a snap kick to Jeru’s stomach, dropping her and the bat to her knees. Sandra kicks out again, sending Gwen tumbling to the floor holding her jaw! Kenny: Great action, but why does referee Polk have that worried look on his face? Cari: Has your father had the talk with you yet? Sandra gets up and drags Gwen back to the ring. She rolls her under the ropes and as she starts to climb herself is surprised as Veronica rolls Gwen to her back and hooks a leg, going for the cover! Sandra snarls and in her haste loses her footing and falls back to the floor! Kenny: This looks like it! Veronica is going to steal this one! Cari: What’s the ref doing? He is very slow getting down to the mat! Kenny: Veronica is looking up at him! She’s not happy! She’s had her for three at least! The crowd starts to bellow in protest as Max Polk, with a worried look on his face finally drops to the mat and raises his hand! Cari: C’MON YOU LOVESICK MORON!! COUNT!! Sandra finally gets her footing and climbs the apron again as the ref’s hand comes down… ONE! Again the hand comes up and Veronica almost screams at him as it agonizingly comes down again… TWO!! Polk looks up as his arm goes up again and he sees Sandra launching herself through the ropes. He hesitates that fraction of a second enough for Sandra to send Veronica sprawling with a hasty clothesline! Polk gets up and waves off the bell to the booing of the crowd. Kenny: Is that supposed to happen in a hardcore match? Cari: Not hardcore! Soft heart! Sandra gets to her feet but is doubled over by a punch to the stomach from a furious Veronica! Grabbing Sandra’s head she falls back and DDT’s Blake to the mat. She rolls her over and goes for the cover. Max is down like a shot this time, raising his arm. Cari: It will take more than that! As Veronica finds her legs again she hears the noise level raise and turns just as Gwen swings the aluminum bat at Veronica’s left knee! Too late as she screams and feels the knee buckle beneath her. Gwen looks for a second with satisfaction but pays the price. Sandra springs to her feet and with speed drives a kick into the sternum of Jeru! The Latin beauty tumbles into the ropes and on the rebound is brought down with a leg sweep. Sandra then gets up and leaps quickly into the air, dropping a leg drop across Gwen’s throat! Kenny: That’s it! The Pounce! Nearly 100 per….never mind! Sandra glares fiercely at Max Polk as she goes for the cover and the referee reacts accordingly. ONE! Veronica tries to get to her feet, staggering up but collapses from the pain! TWO!! The former Body Shopper cries in pain on the mat, reaching out with a pained look on her face as she watches referee Polk's hand come down… THREE!!! Cari: She’s done it! Still the champion! Sandra Blake! Kenny: The result stands, no matter how wobbly the legs are! WINNER: Sandra “The Tiger” Blake by pinfall.˜