[The picture fades in on the screaming capacity crowd for tonight's BRA action. The camera then makes a series of rapid cuts, catching glimpses of just a few of the signs held up in the audience. Among the most notable: "Fork U, Janus!", "I Dream of Lisa", "Nina is INDEED the Goddess!", "Come Back, Jennifer Christian!", and "Declaw Sandra, Missy!" We then cut to the announce table, where our favorite mismatched couple, Kenny Harbor and Cari Trammell, sit and await tonight's action.]

Kenny: Wel

Cari: (cutting him off) Yes, welcome to tonight's show. I'm your host, the amazing Cari Trammell, alongside my little... friend, Kenny Harbor.

Kenny: Um, gracious as usual tonight.

Cari: Just taking matters into my own hands, making sure I get a proper introduction this time.

Kenny: Anyway, we have another great show for you here this week. We have another four way elimination war for a shot at the Celestial Title. Either Lindsay Locke, Alex Parker, Missy Jones or Sandra Blake will win the right to join Yvette Malreaux and Tiffany Lane in a battle for the belt.

Cari: Not much of a contest, if you ask me. Sandra Blake will wipe the floor with all of them.

Kenny: I wouldn't be too sure. Lindsay's been a hot rookie

Cari: There you go, you just said it: rookie. No chance tonight.

Kenny: What about Missy Jones? The Ninja's won 88% of her matches since arriving in the league, and my trusty computer

[Cari shoots him a cold look.]

Kenny: (swallowing the lump in his throat) ...um, says she has a 65% probability of continuing that tonight.

Cari: I'm about to take a very large axe to both that laptop and you, and give you both a reprogramming you'll never forget! Sandra Blake is already a champion. She has the Fallen Angel title. Never beat against the champ... unless she's stupid, of course.

Kenny: Nice segway, Cari. We also have a three-way Hardcore battle between Janus, Shea London, and Skye Soaring Hawk for the right to face the Fallen Angel at this month's Pay-Per- View Event.

Cari: Janus, hands down. Putting her in a hardcore match just plays to her strengths and desires. And someone in our front office must HATE Shea London, to throw her to Janus's mercy...excuse me, lack of mercy in this kind of match, knowing how much Janus hates her.

Kenny: Shea London's no slouch, Cari. Hardcore match or not, my computer gives her a 75% chance of holding her own.

Cari: Just goes to show how unreliable modern technology is. Janus is going to kill her, and I for one am glad that she finally gets the chance to maim the little Brit snob and end her whining.

Kenny: (consulting his laptop) You realize that you are 123% more bloodthirsty than the average person?

Cari: You needed your computer to tell you that? No, wait, I'm going to surprise you. I hope Janus and Shea come out of this match friends. (Kenny looks at his broadcast partner in shock) Yeah, maybe Janus can even give Shea a makeover. I think Shea could use that Brandi Lynn look.

Kenny: (in disgust) You are one sick human being.

Cari: (beaming) Thank you!

Kenny: Aren't you forgetting Skye Soaring Hawk, though?

Cari: Hardly. Skye's as fruity as a nutcake. I give her two seconds in this match before she's out of it.

Kenny: We also have two of our most exciting new arrivals, Minty Flavors versus Angel Dust.

[Cari yawns in an exaggerated manner.]

Kenny: (ignoring her) And Lisa Dream takes on Sasha the Dragon Lady.

Cari: (perking up) Ooooh! That one should be interesting!

Kenny: Indeed, Cari. But first, we have Veronica Millions versus Cammy Masters

Cari: (groaning) I'm going to have to have a talk with ArchAngel. I know they want to save the most interesting match ups for last, but can we at least get one opening match that just once isn't a total snoozer?

Kenny: I think our audience would disagree with that. My laptop shows a 63% interest rate in this opening match up. Most of our audience want to see it.

Cari: Most of our audience are sheep. What's your point?

Kenny: (shaking his head) Ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time we head to the ring.

["Shimmer" by Fuel starts to play over the loudspeakers and the crowd rises to their feet. After a few seconds, Veronica and Victoria step out and stand at the entrance ramp, waving to the crowd. Victoria, wearing a skimpy black leather outfit and black boots, starts to lead the way. Veronica follows her down the ramp wearing a hot pink satin bikini and black low cut boots, a silver jacket and sunglasses. Once they get to the ringside area, Victoria climbs in the ring. Veronica walks around and takes her jacket off, putting it on Cari Trammell's shoulders.

Cari: (fuming) I hope Cammy beats the tar out of her tonight.

Kenny: Never thought I'd hear you say something like that.

[Veronica throws the sunglasses in the air and rolls into the ring to join Victoria. Once in the ring, she blows a kiss at Cari.]

Cari: Just wait, Veronica. I have a feeling you'll get yours tonight.

Ring announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first: from New York, New York. Weighing in at 115 lbs, VEROOONNICAA MIIIIIILLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOONNNS!

[The crowd gives her an appreciative round of applause as Victoria exits the ring.]

Kenny: The crowd certainly doesn't share your disdain of Veronica, Cari.

Cari: These idiots wouldn't recognize a good wrestler if she was sitting at ringside, calling the match.

[A cloud of pink fog starts to pump out the entranceway and suddenly 'American Woman' by Lenny Kravitz starts to play over the Arena's loudspeakers. Then Cammy emerges from behind the curtain wearing short jean shorts and a White 'Wild Cards' endorsed sleeveless T-shirt. She slowly struts down the aisle to the ring waving at the fans along the way. The crowd give her the same appreciative reaction, perhaps only slightly less enthusiastic than they did for Veronica.]

Ring announcer: And her opponent, from Atlanta, Georgia and weighing in at 118 lbs, here is CAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMY MAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTTTEEEEEERRRRRRS!

Kenny: Well, this should prove interesting.

Cari: Shouldn't, you mean.

[The bells sounds, and Veronica and Cammy start to circle each other. Cammy starts to move in to lock up with Veronica, but Veronica surprises her by ducking past her, wrapping her arms around Cammy's waist and falling backwards, slinging Cammy up over her head. The crowd roars as Cammy's head and shoulders slam into the mat.]

Kenny: Remarkable! A German suplex to open the match. That only happens about 2% of the time.

Cari: And that, my dear Kenny, is what is called "good strategy." Whatever your opponent expects, do the opposite. She expects you to lock up, hit her with a power move. She expects you to fight fair, gouge her eyes and punch her downstairs.

Kenny: (mild sarcasm) You're a woman of honor.

Cari: And several victories.

[Veronica quickly scrambles to her feet, and drives several boots into Cammy's left knee, each time eliciting a yelp from the youngster. Veronica punctuates matters by dropping a knee across Cammy's. Cammy's back rises off the mat for a moment as she curls in pain, before she then falls back.]

Kenny: Not the wisest of moves by Veronica, potentially. It hasn't been too long since Gwen Jeru's attack on Veronica's knee. My computer shows a 39% possibility of re-injury tonight.

Cari: If this Cammy is smart, that should be 100%.

[Veronica pulls Cammy to her feet, only to kick her knee back out from under her, dropping Cammy to the mat.]

Kenny: Somewhat uncharacteristic show of brutality on Veronica's part.

Cari: The girl's got something to prove. She hasn't beaten anyone in... well, ever that I can recall. Maybe she's finally wising up and developing a mean streak.

[Suddenly, the crowd comes to life as a figure starts down the walkway.]

Kenny: Looks like we have a visitor.

[The closer the figure gets, it becomes clearer to see that it is Zantara Underworld. Veronica fails to notice her, too intent on her opponent. Victoria, however, does notice and watches her closely, waiting to see if she makes a move towards the ring. Zantara walks around ringside, all the while eyeing Victoria, before taking a seat at the announcer's table and grabbing a headset.]

Cari: A pleasure to have you here, Ms Underworld.

Kenny: (somewhat nervous and frightened) Yes, a pleasure.

Zantara: There's little pleasure in this world. I derive mine from the suffering of Veronica Millions.

Kenny: She doesn't seem to be doing much suffering tonight.

[On cue, Cammy drives a forearm into Veronica's knee-the one Jeru attacked two weeks ago. Veronica crumples to the mat, writhing in pain as Cammy starts to pull her self up. Reaching her feet, Cammy returns the favor Veronica paid her earlier, driving boot after boot into Veronica's knee.]

Zantara: No wonder she lost her last five matches!

[Veronica tries to crawl away, but Cammy reaches down and pulls her to her feet. Cammy sends Veronica into the ropes, leaping into the air as Veronica bounces back towards her. Cammy wraps her legs around Veronica's head, going for a Frankensteiner, but Veronica grabs hold of her and drops to the mat, reversing the move into a powerbomb. Both women lie on the mat, dazed.]

Zantara: These girls are in worse condition than a pair of sick dogs...wait...we ARE watching a pair of sick dogs, aren't we?

Kenny: What we're watching is a fierce battle between

Cari: Blah, blah, blah. Don't mislead the folks at home because we need the ratings.

[Veronica seems in the better shape of the two, as she gets to her feet first. Hobbling over to Cammy, she lifts Cammy's legs, and starts to hook in the figure four.]

Kenny: You're kidding me!

Zantara: Millions is stupid enough to do this.

Cari: This could be one of those rare occasions where someone uses a move that causes herself to submit!

[Cammy struggles, but fails to prevent Veronica from locking in the move. Both women scream and thrash on the mat, as it quickly becomes apparent that this move WILL end the match. The only question remains which one will submit?]

Kenny: Which one of these two can hold out the longest?

Cari: These two? I'd say we'll know our answer in five seconds or so.

Zantara: probably less.

[Millions works the leglock, increasing her leverage as much as possible. Finally, after a valiant effort, Cammy starts slapping the mat.]

Cari: Lackluster effort by Cammy Masters, though good by her standards. It was tough to even notice she was here.

Kenny: We have a winner! Veronica Millions by submission.

Zantara: We shall see about that.

[With that, Zantara removes the headset and starts toward the ring. Victoria moves to intercept her, but Zantara grabs her around the throat, lifts her into the air and drives her into the concrete floor.]

Kenny: Why don't I like the looks of this?

Cari: I don't know, I'm LOVING it!

[Zantara walks up the steps into the ring, where both women still lie on the mat. Zantara seems oblivious to Cammy's presence as she walks straight to Veronica. As Zantara pulls Veronica to her feet, Veronica throws a punch that's easily blocked.]

Zantara: Congratulations, Millions.

[Zantara locks in a clawhold on Veronica's face, squeezing harder as she lifts her into the air.]

Kenny: Oh no! Hades Hazard!

Cari: Oh yes!!! Hades Hazard!!!

[Zantara holds her in the air for several seconds before starting to walk towards the ropes.]

Kenny: She's coming this way.

Cari: I think we should head that way.

[The two announcers quickly get out of their seats and move away from the table. A good thing too, as the table soon after splinters and breaks, Veronica Million's body having been driven through it. In the ring, Zantara chuckles.]

Zantara: Hope you enjoy the glow of victory.

Kenny: Folks, we need to take a break. We'll be right back.

Winner: Veronica Millions