| Adlai Stevenson's left index finger in a little jar, |
-- John Ogden of Ft. Dodge, IA
|
| Beetle paste smeared on molding french bread, |
-- Alice Ecker of DeForest, WI
|
| Cattle prods (so much the better to control you. . .), |
-- Kathi [something] of Pittsburgh, PA
|
| Daria's family (that's enough to make anyone sick),
|
-- Cressida Rutherford of Mississippi State University
|
| An E-3 AWACS going down in flames,
|
-- Michael J. Pfeffer of North Caldwell, NJ
|
| A frog in my throat, |
-- Gretchen Smith of Raleigh, NC
|
| A grassroots, right-wing political movement, |
-- Karl G. Hageman of Anchorage, AK
|
| Half the cast of Mission: Impossible, |
-- Amy Padden of Framingham State College
|
| An infinite improbability drive, |
-- Matthew Dane Elliot of Newark, CA
|
| Jars and jars of fun for everyone, |
-- Mick Bonk of Melbourne, Australia
|
| Kansas State University (and a few cows), |
-- Dan Gross of Fairfax, VA |
| A lobotomy kit, |
-- Tori Marcinek of Coopersburg, PA |
| Moonshine and stardust for that shiny, happy feeling, |
-- Vikki C. Witt of Southampton, Hampshire, UK |
| Naked pics of Trent, |
-- Emily Scelfo of Franklin, LA |
| Oregano in a little plastic baggie... really, Officer, it's just oregano, |
-- Nicole Young of Ann Arbor, MI |
| A panic button, |
-- Brianna Harmony of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
| A quasi-intelligent goth poser, |
-- Helen Barrett of Northampton, MA |
| Relativistic morality, |
-- Michael Korsten of London, Ontario, Canada |
| A signed murder confession from Martha Stewart, |
-- Renfield of Linthicum, MD |
| A time machine so I can get away from you people, |
-- Danielle Beach of Lawndale, CT |
| Underwear that doesn't shrink in the wash, |
-- Faith Thomas of WA (?), Australia |
| A viral infection; a very contagious, as of yet untreatable one, |
-- Rosie (something) of Willamette Valley, OR |
| (Why is this question still being asked?), |
-- Chayene (something) of Scofield, South Australia |
| A xyster, for scraping those pesky, diseased bones, |
-- Misty Bradley of Louisville, KY |
| Yak butter (you don't wanna know), |
-- Hikhali Jericho of Seattle, WA |
| (Young) Zaphod, who plays it safe. |
-- Eileen Gormley of Oak Ridge, TN |
