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  • Esteemsters
  • The Invitation
  • College Bored
  • Cafe Disaffecto
  • Malled
  • This Year's Model
  • Lab Brat
  • Pinch Sitter
  • Too Cute
  • The Big House
  • Road Worrier
  • The Teachings of Don Jake
  • The Misery Chick

  • Arts 'n' Crass
  • The Daria Hunter
  • Quinn the Brain
  • I Don't
  • That was Then, This is Dumb
  • Monster
  • The New Kid
  • Gifted
  • Ill
  • Fair Enough
  • See Jane Run
  • Pierce Me
  • Write Where it Hurts

  • Daria! - the musical
  • Through a Lens Darkly
  • The Old and the Beautiful
  • Depth Takes a Holiday
  • Daria Dance Party
  • The Lost Girls
  • It Happened One Nut
  • Lane Miserables
  • Jake of Hearts
  • Speedtrapped
  • The Lawndale Files
  • Just Add Water
  • Jane's Addiction

  • Sealed With A Kick
  • The Daria Diaries
  • The Daria Database
  • Daria Day '98
  • Daria Day '99
  • quotes from Daria!

    Jake ::: "I've got a big wheel rollin' in my heart!"
    Helen ::: "I really don't know what that's supposed to mean."
    Jake ::: "It means a Lawndale morning's gonna start!"
    Helen ::: "Put on your pants! We're seeing more than should be seen."
    neighborhood ::: "I'll say!"

    Daria ::: "Oh me, oh my, a lovely day is dawning,
    "Oh what a joy, I didn't wake up dead.
    "So I can go to school and then resume my yawning,
    "And get my sleep in class instead of in my bed."

    Jake ::: "Morning, Helen!"
    Helen ::: "Morning, Jake!"
    Jake ::: "Hair all right?"
    Quinn ::: "Looks kinda fake."
    Jake ::: "Great!"

    Brittany ::: "Oh my gosh! Look at the Jell-O!"
    Daria ::: "It's jigglng."
    Jane ::: "Worried about the competition?"

    Ms. Li ::: "That little hurricane advisory has been upgraded to a hurricane warning!"
    Jamie ::: "Are we all gonna die?"
    Ms. Li ::: "Not on school property!"

    Daria ::: "Hey, look at what the newspaper is saying."
    Jane ::: "What?"
    Daria ::: "It says a great big storm is on the way."
    Jane ::: "Cool!"
    Daria ::: "The roof's not really where we should be staying."
    Jane ::: "Why?"
    Daria ::: "'Cause this big-ass storm is happening today."
    Jane ::: "Hey, what if the town blew away?"
    Daria ::: "My sister would have nowhere to stay."
    Jane ::: "The mall would be gone, and that's okay!"
    both ::: "Down on your knees and begin to pray,
    "That the town blows away!"

    Jane ::: "You know, being a post-apocalyptic town is gonna be cool! Other towns will be scared of us."
    Daria ::: "I'm sure they already are."

    [Daria and Jane come upon Kevin and Brittany making out.]
    Daria ::: "Oh look, a hurricane of passion."

    [Kevin locks them all on the roof.]
    Daria ::: "Great, now we're not only gonna die, the headline's gonna read 'Quarterback and Others Perish.'"

    [Helen lets her assistant go home early.]
    Helen ::: "Kiss the kids goodbye for me! I mean 'goodnight!'"

    ::: "I know I've never told you this before but:
    "Helen, oh Helen,
    "You're so swell, 'n--
    "[check his watch]
    "Ah, damn! I'll e-mail ya!"

    Sandi ::: "Let's get out of here while there's still time to walk. Running for you life looks so geeky."

    Jake and
    ::: "Obsessive kids and moms just might be ticking bombs!"

    Jake ::: "I've got a foot on the gas and a hammer in my head,
    "Thinkin' 'bout my girls and the ways they might be dead.
    "They should be safe at home and warmin' by the fire
    "Instead of warmin' up to sing in that heavenly choir.
    "Gah-god dammit!"
    Motorist #1 ::: "Learn to drive, jerk!"
    Jake ::: "Gah-god dammit!"
    Motorist #2 ::: "Glad you got your horn to work!"
    Jake ::: "Gah-god dammit!"
    Motorist #3 ::: "Stay in your lane!"
    Jake ::: "There's a hurricane comin' and I'm going insane!"
    Very Moral
    ::: "Quit swearin' like a drunkard and get right with the Lord."
    Very Moral
    ::: "We're a very moral family with a baby on board!"
    Jake ::: "And I say gah-god dammit!"
    Very Moral
    ::: "Oh me, oh my!"
    Jake ::: "Gah-god dammit!"
    Very Moral
    ::: "We hope that you die!"
    Jake ::: "Ahh, god dammit!"
    Motorists ::: "You tell 'em, jack!"
    Jake ::: "I think I see my turnoff, so you better get back!"
    [cuts across two lanes of traffic]
    Motorists ::: "Gah-god dammit!"

    Helen ::: "Now, sweetie, there's nothing to worry about. [door slams] Looters!"

    Jake ::: "Helen! Quinn! Daria?"
    Helen ::: "We thought she was with you."
    Jake ::: "You mean she's out there in that maelstrom!?!"
    Helen ::: "You know, Jake, it's not actually raining yet."

    Trent ::: "No, Daria's not here. You want the Morgendorffers."
    Jake ::: "Gahhh, I am the Morgendorffers!"

    Helen ::: "Have you done anything to prepare for this hurricane? [listens] Yes, hurricane! Trent, I want you to come over and wait for the girls here. You'll be safer. [listens] Then put some on, and get over here right now, young man! [hangs up] Honestly, doesn't anyone in this town wear pants anymore?"

    Jane ::: "And I'd say I'm on the roof,
    "With a bimbo and a goof,
    "But I'm sure to come back home most any day."

    Jake ::: "Dyahh, I can't take it anymore!"
    Trent ::: "Whoa, no more cocoa for you, man."

    Trent ::: "I can show that I care,
    "I can cry, I can share,
    "Got my brain in a sensitive world.
    "But please tell me why,
    "Being such a modern guy
    "Make me feel like a bearded girl!"

    Jake ::: "Come on, Trent! Your daughter and my sister are out there--"
    Trent ::: "That doesn't sound right."

    [Kevin breaks down the shack's door with his head.]
    Brittany ::: "Did he hurt himself?"
    Daria ::: "Not anywhere either of you would notice."

    Kevin ::: "Hey, check it out! The storm's over!"
    Brittany ::: "Kevvy, you did it!"
    Daria ::: "And look, Brittany: he also made a rainbow."
    Jane ::: "Is there anything this popular boy can't do?"

    Jake ::: "I don't care a fig about my smashed-up Lexus,
    "You're really what my caring's all about!
    Daria ::: "That must be why you've crushed my solar plexus"
    Jake ::: "I'm sorry, hon, but I'm so happy I could shout!"

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