Preacher: In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
Amen.
Dearly loved, we are gathered together today in the name of God Almighty through our blessed Savior and Lord Jesus Christ to bring this noble man together in voluntary holy wedlock with these willing and worthy women.
If there is anyone who can show just cause why these three Christians cannot
be united in holy matrimony in view of the Divinely-accepted polygamous history
of many Old-Testament patriarchs and as qualified by Saint Paul in his New-Testament first epistle to Timothy and epistle to Titus, they should have said something before now rather than disrupt this sacred service and cause a publicly-offensive riot.
Preacher: MALE, are you now a bishop or a deacon of the Church of our Creator and Master Jesus Christ, which - by so being - would prevent you from taking these TWO women now as your WIVES in
view of the holy directives of First Timothy 3:2 and 12 plus Titus 1 verse 6 of The HOLY BIBLE?
Male: No sir.
Preacher: FEMALE#1 and FEMALE#2, do you voluntarily want to be joined
to this same husband and share him without rivalry and jealousy - whether or
not you have children and - if the Lord should give either or both of you conception - how many of them either one or both of your have by him - so you do not get into family feuds as Jacob found himself beset with because of the procreation competition of his four wives and as Elkanah found himself troubled with conception-related familial animosity with his two wives?
Female#1 and Female#2: Yes sir.
Preacher: You all must realize that the SCRIPTURAL history, precedents, customs, and laws of the LORD as revealed in The HOLY BIBLE outweigh, override, and are superior to all secular and civil government documents, statutes, laws, customs, and regulations of any jurisdiction and territory....
and that you have the OPTION to [legally] identify yourselves to others nevermore as "singles" but rather in common-law marital relationship with the same man at the same time while belonging to him in permanent and exclusive SPOUSAL relationship....
thus being without the protections, interference from, restriction of, and entanglements relating to temporal secular human government of any jurisdiction and territory.....
that you will in NO way be subject - [BY DIVINE RIGHT] - to secular, "civil-rights," "human-rights," and/or other government anti-"fornication," anti-"adultery," anti-"bigamy," children-"protection," child-"custody," "divorce," and/or other such sexually-oriented laws and statutes (relating to your legitimate consentual common-law MARITAL relationship with the same husband) -- regardles of secular civil-law social workers, magistrates, enforcement officials, and their secular civil courts?
Male and Female#1 and Female#2: We do.
Preacher: Do you, MALE, take these two women to be your wedded wives?
Male: I do.
Preacher: Do you, FEMALE#1 and FEMALE#2, take this man to be your husband?
Female#1 and Female#2: We do.
Preacher: By the power vested in me as a Scripturally-called and Divinely-ordained minister of Jesus Christ [but not necessarily ordained and licensed minister of the State and associated humanly-instituted seminaries].....
I hereby pronounce you MAN and WIVES - in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. What GOD has joined together, let NO one tear apart.
Preacher: You may heterosexually kiss your brides AFTER you all get
in private to avoid putting on a sex show in front of the congregation.
Remember, NO lesbianism when in conjugal activities with your own husband.
Please exit to the Reception Room, and the ushers will escort each row of
the congregation from front to back in order.