"SORROWS OF THE PAST, BURDENS OF THE FUTURE" ACT II OF III
**"It was, by nature, a torturous and twisted path that Westcastle and his slowly growing cadre followed to the truth. From the eventually doomed world of Nighthawk, to Earth, through Babylon 5, and finally to Minbar...where they either found, or were found by, the Rangers and Jeffrey Sinclair. The events that occurred on Minbar are mostly unclear, but what IS clear is that three months after their arrival, William Westcastle, his lover and their allies emerged from their seclusion, and did begin again their personal war against the Shadows, as members of..." **
From: "Holding the Line: A History of the Army of Light."
* * *
Mar 21, 2259. Ranger Compound, Tuzanor, Minbar. Sunset.
The mediation continued.
A bitter wind whipped against the ancient stone and glass of the barracks behind him, but William paid no attention to that distraction, or the cold that sank into his bones. Far to the west, the great sun of Minbar, barely dimmed by the clear atmosphere, touched the fiery crags of the western Mountains. He did not move from his pose on the stone step, nor did he acknowledge those near to him...that was not the way.
Contemplation of what was, what is, and what will be...that was what he had been told by Tashann...and that was the way it had to be. The dark, thick cloak he wore protected him from the elements...and so, gaze unwavering, he watched the sun contract to a spark against the far peaks...and just for an instant, before it was gone, a flare of green flashed from between the teeth of two disparate mountain peaks, and was gone.
Interesting...only the second time in his life that he had seen the green flash...but then, so *much* of his life had been spent away from Earth, that was not surprising.
The meditation continued...as he turned to acknowledge the eastern sky, where the curving shadow of Minbar itself was already beginning to rise in the east. William nodded, his eyes clenched tightly, now. In between the Darkness and the Light, there existed the Shadows...only at this time, in the cusp of the twilight, could that be seen, and acknowledged.
A brief moment, and so easily lost. Already, the light was beginning to fade in the west, and overhead, the brilliant sparks of orbiting Minbari installations and war cruisers were beginning to emerge against the firmament.
It was enough. Without a sound, he rose from the bench, and turned his gaze away from the stars. Thirty feet away along the parapet, he saw Jennifer do the same. It was often the case that they found themselves drawn to this place at sunset, to observe what he had just observed. It was a humbling thing...but in this, he could find both peace, and a focus for what was to come.
"You do yourselves justice by attempting this thing...at this time, day after day." a calm voice intruded, and as one, William and Jennifer whirled to face the intruder...and then, as one, knelt and bowed to the hooded observer, from his clothing style, a Satai of the Grey Council. "And yet, there is a purpose and a reasoning to every thing, and I believe I understand *what* it is you attempt...and applaud your efforts."
"You do us honour, Satai." Jennie whispered, her mass of reddish-black hair nearly escaping from the hood of the cloak she wore. "We came to this place seeking focus for what we knew already. We come to *this* place to acknowledge the path of that focus."
The lips of the Satai briefly tightened, and then he nodded. "Of course...there can be no escaping what is to come; the others do not choose to acknowledge this as of yet, but that is of no matter. There will come a time when they will be given no choice."
"I do not...understand your reference, Satai."
"That is no concern of yours, I say what I will!...when I will, to whom I choose. You will both understand the meaning in due course. For now, however...understand *this*. While you have both displayed an admirable amount of focus on what is and what is to come, you must *continue* to develop your dedication. Your mutual pasts, and certain... instructions have lead you to believe that you are invulnerable..that all you do is right.
I must, unfortunately, seek to disabuse you of these concepts."
Almost by magic, a staff appeared in the Minbari's hand, and Jennie's mouth opened wide, while William grimly nodded. So...it continued, as Sinclair had all but implied. It was the duty of a Ranger to be ready for all that was to be, to prepare for every conceivable option in battle. His Love had yet to learn that lesson properly. He bowed, and just as swiftly, drew his own staff from the voluminus folds of his cloak...and then, dispensed with the cloak altogether, revealing the utilitarian clothes they all wore as trainees underneath.
"So...you learn, Westcastle. And now, you must, of course, seek to protect your companion from my assault." The Minbari circled, his staff lightly held in hand...at the ready. "If you are to be counted among us, young human female, you must forever be at the ready...else you will pay for the mistake with your very *life*!"
With that harsh statement, the Minbari leapt forward, and William moved to meet him. With a decisive crack, their staffs met, while behind him, Jennie slowly moved away, her gaze uncertain...but definitive. She knew what mistake she had made...but now, how were they to escape from this situation?
William tightened his grip, and continued his defence against the admirable skills of the Minbari facing him..*was* this a Satai of the Warrior Caste? If so, *why* was he displaying this much interest in them? An interesting problem.
The battle continued, and as it continued, William realized that while he was acclaimed good with the staff through his EarthForce training, compared to the Minbari, his skills were lacking. Eventually, his opponent would catch him out, it was just a matter of time...
Abruptly, the Minbari changed stances, and William's legs went flying out from underneath him, and he crashed to the stones. Looking up, face grim, he nodded as the Minbari squarely placed his staff against his throat.
"Your point is well taken...Satai."
"I would hope so, young human, because you still have much to learn." The Minbari backed away, allowing William to get to his feet. "An admirable defence, if flawed...but you, both of you will, I assume, learn from your mistakes tonight??" The Minbari shifted his gaze pointedly to a most uncomfortable Jennifer. "Especially yours. *Never* must you be without weapon. While the Anla'shok strive to attain a peaceful conclusion to most efforts, sooner or later, you *must* be ready to call upon your warrior skills. Never forget this.
Never. We will speak again...in due course." Without further word, the Minbari turned, and vanished into the darkness. William let out a long breath, and bent to reclaim his cloak. A harsh lesson indeed; he had never gotten a good look at the Satai's face, to determine if it was one who had visited the compound as of yet. Rathenn he knew, and Hedronn...and of course, Delenn, but of the other six, there was no clue.
That was, of course, the way they wanted it.
* * *
"I am, frankly, astonished that you would bow to that level, to test the upstart humans."
"I have heard, through my contacts, that this particular pair have displayed great talent. As I determined this evening, they do indeed possess that which was rumoured... but it is unfocused, harsh and indefinitive. They as yet have far to go."
"They did not recognize you, or see your face?"
"No, although there was a number of times in combat where I could have given Westcastle a chance for that." A bitter smile. "The time will come soon enough when we will meet again, him and I. And at that time, if this *new* Anla'shok under Sinclair is to succeed, we will meet with bare faces, and know one another.
That is the way of things."
* * *
Mar 24, 2259.
"You saw into my soul..." Brianna commented wryly, as the lessons broke for the day, and the various trainees streamed out into the light rain that was falling upon the compound. "And I into yours."
"You say that so easily..."
"Oh come now, William, we both know it's true! And it's about time you finally came to terms with what you are...you're too burdened with the past, as if the present and the future aren't enough!!"
"I can't escape from my past...any of my pasts. The visions won't let me...as you should know."
"Ah yes...the *great* visions of William Westcastle. I will admit they saved my life...*but*, why is it you have to fall back on that crutch all the time?? Isn't it enough for you to accept that the visions are you..and you are the visions? You are, from what I understand of them, three in one, a very sacreligious and important number to the Minbari. I don't even have to make scans to figure that one out!"
At that, William turned on Brianna sharply. "Please tell me that you haven't been breaking your promise?"
"You should know *better* then to ask that, William...I gave you oath!!...isn't that enough??"
He sighed. "It will be...given enough time and trust, Brianna. They tell us that while we learn from history, we also learn from each other, and I find I am becoming less and less inflexible on certain points...this should be one, I guess."
Looking interested, Brianna sat down on a nearby step, and motioned him over. "Go on...tell me more."
"I don't mean to intrude on what happened to you during that period before we rescued you...."
Brianna's expression turned somber. "It's not an intrusion; it seems we both have private demons to exorcise. I suspect that my demons will take longer to get rid of then yours, however...she briefly touched his hand, and he winced.
<White-violet...death...kill...revenge...screaming> Nodding at him, she took the hand away.
"Agreed. Back to..." He laughed a dirgeful laugh. "My demons. When you touched my mind back on Babylon 5...did you see anything of my visions...more clearly then I've said already??"
"Did I..." Brianna laughed, and shook her head. "It took you *this* long to ask me? But I don't blame you for that, Will...and I don't blame you for avoiding this as long as possible, either. Yes, I did see something of what you were...far more then I wanted to, or can still remember. It was almost a deluge of memories..the memories of three men... you and the two others. It drove my madness away and defeated it, you might say...or even defeated the Shadows in whatever plan they were seeking to foster. And now you want to know.
Are you *sure*?"
"Very."
Brianna nodded, as if to say, 'at last'...William on the other hand, could not help but feel a lump of ice begin to form in his stomach. This was it: Brianna, a Shadow-boosted telepath made mad for their own unknowable and uncompleted aims and ends, was about to cut his secret wide open.
And all he had to have done was ask.
* * *
"Balance!" Dreann insisted, backing away as Jennie fell to her kness, breath gasping out from the mild blow the Minbari Ranger had inflicted.
"Jennifer...if you cannot maintain your balance, you will never achieve your full abilities. Balance, above all, is one of the most necessary traits in the fighting warrior. Not only are you unbalanced, but you extend yourself constantly, and let your guard down. A seasoned fighter will catch you off guard, be it with staff, or pike, or energy weapon, and you will have let William down...you will have let *everyone* down."
"You make it look easy. I'm sure that being born...in a society where battle skills are honed from birth has helped you."
Dreann's eyes narrowed, and she strode forward, and roughly grabbed Jennie's shoulder. "Is that what you *believe*, human?? You would have us all be Warrior Caste, and blame the near-death of your world on all the Castes and families?? It is a shame... you are so focused in so many things, and so *lacking* in the rest. And you wish to be Anla'shok? It will not go easily for you if this attitude continues...not easily at all. Rise!"
Wearily, Jennie pushed herself to her feet. Training...and training..and when they weren't being pushed to exhaustion, they were mediating, or learning Minbari history. In Valen's name, would it ever stop??
She jumped. In Valen's Name...had *she* just thought that??
Amazing...and interesting. Focussed all of a sudden, adrenalin surging, she abruptly took hold of her staff and leapt at Dreann. The Minbari's eyes narrowed as she took the impact squarely on her own staff, and then, after a flurry of sparring that lasted several minutes, with neither side gaining the upper hand, the Ranger called a halt.
"Interesting. I thought, just before you struck, that I saw something...a revelation in your eyes. A revelation of focus, perhaps?"
Standing firm despite her exhaustion, Jennie pulled her unruly mass of hair back, and wound it into a braid, before nodding. "I believe you *could* say that, yes!"
In Valen's Name. If anything was to prove she was starting to think like a Ranger, that was the first clue.
* * *
"You are...you were...a warrior and a scholar. In that, it seems while it was in different lives of your existence, you share that with our great leader. The first time, long ago, you were of the Wind Swords...a warrior lost to battle in the endless Minbari caste wars before the coming of Valen. And then, a citizen of pre-Contact Earth...I'd have to guess more then two hundred years ago, but who knows?? Your first life was lost to war, your second to a tragic mistake...an impact, in a age of fire?"
"Can you show me?"
"Yes, of course, but not all. Not yet. Most of it I can't quite make out....as if it's hidden from my view. But this, this I *can* give you." Brianna reached out, and touched him again.
<Flash> An enormous lake between tree lined shores, a jarring crash...blood and fire...crazed glass angles, as against the background of trees and mountains, an enormous churning fountain of fire rose from the shores of the lake, as the shockwave from the explosion swept across the water, wiping away all that stood in its path...<Flash>
"In Valen's name..." He grimaced, and then cleared his face...so be it. There was no escaping from it now...his soul was of two worlds. "My second death..."
Brianna nodded. "A nuclear bomb. A small one by the look of it, but far more then enough to destroy whatever city that vision represents...and you were there."
"That would more then likely place it sometime during the early Twenty-First Century...that's about the earliest that nuclear terrorism occurred."
Brianna gazed at him knowingly. "Agreed. William...I think you've had your epiphany. Is it smart for us to press any harder then we have, already??"
A brief consideration. "For now...no. That's more then enough for me."
Damn. But I *did* ask, didn't I?
* * *
Mar 30, 2259. Dusk.
"We stand on the bridge, and no one may pass." Jennie whispered to herself, as she prepared to practice amidst the growing darkness. "We Live for the One...we Die for the One." Without a sound, she began the movements...the practice that not only had been drilled into her, but was also sinking deeper, into her soul. She was changing; no, *being* changed, all in the name of...the One.
But *which* One? Sinclair? Or someone else?? Their instructors had never strived to make that clear, indicating that they would find the meaning of the words in due course. Amazingly enough, that seemed to be the most correct choice, for now. In the three and a half weeks since their arrival at the Ranger compound, they had been pushed harder then Earthforce had *ever* pushed them, but at the same time, left in contemplation for hours that stretched to an eternity of finding their place within the Rangers. Throughout it all, the Minbari Rangers walked, the aloof instructors who guided them along the Path, and Sinclair, drifting in and out of everything and everywhere, his gaze somber and knowing, were showing her the way...but she was also showing *herself* the way.
It was entirely appropriate. Three months, she had been told...or less, if they continued to advance at their current rate. In three months, they would be acknowledged as full Rangers, and dispatched upon their duties, to prepare for the great Conflict that was coming. Finishing the movement, she grounded the staff, her eyes focused, her stance final.
"You advance impressively, Jennifer. I am pleased."
Half shocked, she gazed up into the eyes of Sinclair...damn it, how long had he been there? She shook her head self-mockingly, and laughed at herself. A touch of a smile appeared on Sinclair's face. "You were watching me, sir, for how long, may I ask?"
"Long enough to see that you've passed your limitations by. Long enough to see that you learn both what you are, and what you can be. That is gratifying enough, but to also hear you begin to embrace what we are and what we will be..."
She bowed. "I am honoured to serve; honoured to be given this chance. There comes a time when we all called; called to the Word, and to the Sword...and this is that time. The Rangers will stand as candles against the Darkness, and when the time comes, sir, my candle will join the rest. I cannot allow myself to fail...not now I've come this far!"
"I see. But for now, I will ask you to put down your staff, and join the rest, this evening. We will talk of things...many things, and as a result, come closer together. Join us."
What else was there to say?? Sinclair understood...they *all* understood what was needed of them. Jennie followed her leader off of the practice square. There would be more practices, and real battles as well, in the months, and years to come...but for now, a time of rest was called for, and contemplation of the tasks ahead.
* * *
Mar 31, 2259.
"So. You tell us that *this* Narn and his crew are dancing along our borders, gathering information? Intolerable! He must be stopped! Him and *all the others*!"
"We agree, my Lord..." Corrolan smoothly replied, as he strode back and forth against the rich, intricate background of the suite his contact had provided for him. "My associates have offered their help in ridding your borders of these nuisances. I will assume you are not opposed to this?...your forces, are, *after all*, needed in so many places!"
A quick, if insincere smile. "But of course we accept your help, Mr. Corrolan! That's what allies are for, isn't it?"
* * *
Quantium flashes flared along the tines of the ancient tri-pronged gate, and with a barely felt shudder, the *N'blis* fell back into normal space time. G'kael shook his head as his crew recovered their poise and began scanning the region they had arrived in. What G'kar had told him on Babylon 5 was disturbing enough, but he had seen what was coming for a long time...the Centauri, and Mollari in particular, were dealing with those forces he had sworn to oppose. He held oaths not only to the Regime, but also, more importantly to him, to the still tiny forces of Light. By themselves, he and his crew could not do much, but as long as they *tried*, there was at least a chance!
nbsp;A slim chance. Three months before, the outpost in Quadrant 37 had been brutally destroyed by the Shadows...it could have been no other race, although he had no proof. No Narn had survived that encounter with the Enemy...and G'kael suspected that the worst was yet to come.
And so, again and again in the last month, as their intelligence patrol pattern continued, he had brought his small cruiser out to the Rim, to the edge of the dark worlds formerly controlled by the Enemy.
And seen nothing...but then, it was just as well, for nothing had seen him in return.
"Sensor sweep shows nothing, Shipleader."
"But of course it does not, G'nahl...if the Enemy wanted us to see them, they would not lurk on the edge of known space, plotting and manipulating like the demons they are. This region is nearer to Z'ha'dum then I would like...nearer then any of our ships have come since the one sent by G'kar was destroyed. We can take no chances...should the Centauri decide to strike at our lines, we all be needed."
G'nahl's face tightened. "It will happen, sooner or later. The Centauri will move upon us in revenge for the slights of the past...and there *will* be war."
G'kael nodded. "Agreed. N'rothak!" he barked.
"Shipleader?"
"The sweeps still show nothing?"
"Nothing...wait." N'rothak looked up, his face showing traces of alarm. "Near to the second planet in this system...a disturbance!"
G'kael tensed. It was inevitable, that sooner or later they would encounter the Enemy in battle. They had been warned, that if word of their allegiances got out...
"Battle stations. Bring main laser on line, bring fusion reactor to battle standby. All available power to primary and secondary weapons systems, prepare to target their fighters, should they appear, and then, their capital vessels. Helm, make for the gate... gunners, *make EVERY shot count*!"
G'nahl and N'rothak nodded. Behind them, the crew grew tense. That anyone would survive the next five minutes was debatable.
* * *
Above the second planet of the unnamed, dark and blasted system that the *N'blis* now found itself in, two enormous, spiderlike shimmers appeared, and then solidified into the nightmares that the images had implied. With a harsh scream, the two enormous and deadly vessels launched clusters of fighters, and turned towards the, to them, wholely insignificant and tiny Narn vessel trying to escape from them.
Escape? Escape was impossible! The ships grew eager...another hunt was beginning.
* * *
Next: "Sorrows of the Past, Burdens of the Future" ends in fire and in ice...in destiny, and in victory...in pain, and in the beginning of a war that cannot be avoided.