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| Some personal observations on Transitioning |
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About your hair |
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I was lucky and had my own hair, but I know a lot of girls that weren't so lucky. So what did they do? Both have nice heads of hair now, one was easy the other was better but took a few years. The first one had been using Rogaine and taking Proscar for six to eight months with minor success. The hair that grew back was baby fine (that's normal I hear). So she did what was a very easy thing to do - she went to one of those hair clubs and had them put on a hairpiece. It looked very, very good but cost thousands. The second girl took Rogaine aand Proscar for four years, had a scalp advancement and three hair transplants. She now has her own hair. It doesn't look quite as nice, but it's her own hair. Which was is best? Depends on how fast you want hair I suppose. You could do both perhaps but I would think putting on the Rogaine would be a little hard with a hairpiece on. I talked to Dr. O about how much Proscar to take BTW. If you're on Spironolactone it only takes 1/20 of a pill to achieve results. Seeing as how this particular drug is covered under insurance plans and Propecia isn't, I vote for the 1/20 pill of Proscar. It's the same drug so why not? |
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| About your beard and body hair |
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I wasn't so lucky on the beard. I had a very heavy one. In fact I was a very hairy person (just great - not!). After a little more than a year of being on hormones I can honestly say the above is no longer true. My beard is gone and my "fur" is now baby fine and sparse. So what did I do? Well, you know about one, electrolysis. I've talked to a lot of girls and they tell me that the laser treatments and NOT worth the money. The hair grows back on your face because the male beard is one tough cookie. If your beard is VERY sparse and dark and you're light skinned then it can weaken the hair so it's easier to kill later with electrolysis. Now I used the blend method (heat and direct current) and found that it worked well. I've seen the results of the "flash" method and while it works in the hands of a skilled operator, I think it leaves a few more scars behind on your face. That observation is subjective but it just seems that way when you see the results. Whatever way you decide to go, do it as soon as possible, one of the very first things you do when you start to transition. It's taken me about a year and close to 270 hours. Also, and this is important, female hormones seems to make the skin more sensitive. That's wonderful when someone lovingly strokes your body, but when you have a needle stuck in you and different electrical currents/heat applied it isn't so great. So start right away. Oh! A little something about the needle. It's put down a hole (we call it a hair follicle) in your skin and shouldn't hurt all that bad. It still does sometimes but not all that much.
So how about the fur I used to have? What happened to it? I can tell you in one word, hormones. Female hormones slow the growth of your hair it seems (including your beard but it doesn't stop it darn it!). I had to still get some electrolysis around me breast for the stronger hairs but that wasn't all that bad. I still have to remove the hair from the back of my hands and on my upper arms about once a week but if I forget it's no big deal because the hair is so fine now. A note on the electrolysis. When you get your upper lip done be prepared for some pain, especially right under the nose. Nerves overlap there and you get a double dose of pain. I finally got some Lidocaine ointment and it cut the pain about in half. It still hurt but it was tolerable. EMLA cream is supposed to be a little better but it cost 4 times as much. When your getting close to having SRS, you probably will have to have genital electrolysis done. Get the cream before you start and ask your surgeon where he would like you to remove your pubic hair. It seems to me that they want it gone about one inch surrounding the penis and on your scrotum. I have a drawing from Dr. Sanguan showing where he wants electrolysis done. |
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| About your voice |
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This one really worried me, I won't try and kid you. I spent over 26 grand on my face so I would pass all the time without worrying about what people thought. But what about when I opened my mouth? I know some women have a low voice, but unless you're 5'4", of slim build with small hands and feet and look GG, I think the voice is a dead giveaway of who you used to be - a guy. I went out to Los Angeles to see Dr. Pincus and see what he could do for me with an operation. He strongly suggest you not operate on your vocal chords and he's done the the operation on three girls that I personally know. Only one came out ok. You could lose your voice (I hear) or damage your voice so it's even deeper than before.
Now my voice is ok. I get a "mam" on the phone every time and everyone tells me my voice is pretty good. Did I get coaching? No. An operation? No. I just used it every day, all day, without going back to my old voice. I had tried the CD that tells you how to feminize your voice but that left it sounding fake. So I just used what I thought sounded ok. At first it wasn't, I got hoarse or even lost my voice. But over a few months it got better and better until it seemed to "settle" in and sound ok. Don't get me wrong, I still have problems in the morning before I warm up the old vocal chords and if I get a cold that's a tough one to overcome, but in general I sound like a woman. |
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About your face |
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If you can't afford a major investment like having Dr. O change your bone structure in your face, then what do you do to look more feminine? Well, I can only suggest what seems to be the first thing that makes a difference between male and female - the nose. Along with that, the brow ridge seems to stand out. So if you can get a nose job and have your brow ridge ground down it won't cost as much and will really help. You may not get into the female "norm" but it will help. And remember that you're only going half way towards your goal. Also remember if at a later date you decide to do the rest of your face you get to pay all those hospital fees over again. And don't worry about a facelift until you're done with your other facial surgeries.
Try and take care of your skin too BTW. That helps things. Pluck your eyebrows and trim your nose hairs. |
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About deportment |
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I spent many, many hours in the mall studying women. How they walk, what they do with their arms and purses and just how they act in general. So how are women different from men when they walk? Well, some move their behinds from side to side but all guys know about that. Hold your back straight, push your breast and butt out. Your PROUD of them so show them! Pull your shoulders back and DON'T slouch. Guys slouch. When you walk don't just move your arms back and forth. front to back. Women have hips and seem to move them out from their bodies. I move my arms in an inverted "V" and that seems to work pretty well. I also throw my hand out in a flip when I get at the back of my swing, but only when I walk from semi fast to fast. If I'm just strolling alone then it's just a mild inverted "V" and no flip. I also hold my purse strap with the hand on the side I'm wearing my purse (if it's one with shoulder straps). I'm trying to protect it and stop any purse snatcher. And for gosh sakes dress like everyone else! Don't wear a mini skirt if your over what, 30? 40? I guess it depends on your legs but most women just wear jeans and an old top. I find that it's very comfortable to just go with the flow so that's what I wear. I can get just as sloppy as the next girl! And I fit in just fine, I'm just one of the girls and isn't that the point? I also seem to wear a lot of sun dresses and long skirts. My legs are ok but that's what the women are wearing so I do too.
If your young then you can wear any style hair you want. Since I'm over 50, I find I look better in medium short hair. Ask your hair stylist what they recommend. |
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| About silicon |
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I would like to quote from the October 2000 Discover magazine's article called "Twenty of the greatest blunders in science in the last twenty years".
"Chest Say No to Silicone Implants"
"Pamela Anderson had them taken out. So did Jenny Jones. They needn't have bothered, according to an independent panel of medical experts. Never mind that lawsuits over the implants bankrupted Dow Corning, a multibillion-dollar company. The medical panel reported in 1998 that there is no greater incidence on immune-system abnormalities among women with breast implants than there is in the general population. In the end the science didn't fail us, the lawyers did."
So, is the stuff safe? Well, now that doctors can't use it, probably not. I have heard that it IS available in breast implants if you sign a waiver. As far as injections go, I've heard all sort of personal opinions that are worthless and I've seen some girls with poor results due to the inexperience or lack of skills of the person they are now forced to use. I must make a comment on silicone injected into the breast directly. Don't do it. It will make mammograms hard to read and may hide a lump from being discovered.
So, like everything else nowadays, you have to do some research, make up your own mind, and be careful who you use if you choose to go that route. There was a case of one girl in Nashville that had a problem. The girls was overweight and had large breast already. The guy used a LONG needle and punctured her lung, collapsing it. That's what I heard anyway.
To start you on your research, here is a report from the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
Here are a few others:
IRG NIP NCI
Another word of warning. It never occured to me but I've found that some people will mix other things with the silicone or use something other than medical silicon. For instance, mixing baby oil with the silicon. The body absorbes the baby oil and you need more shots because of it. Some of these mixtures can migrate to areas like the lungs and cause serious, life threatening problems. Like before, I don't have first hand knowledge of any of this, but a friend has done some research that seems to back all of this up. Be careful ok? |
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About documentation |
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Eventually you're going to have to change your documentation of who you are, your drivers license, credit cards, voters registration, lots of things. To start the process is kind of easy, just call our credit card company and ask for a card to be issued in your new name. Your old name will still be the responsible party but now you can go shopping. :) I would recommend trying to get a copy of your drivers license if you can. It's easy to do, just go in and say you lost it. Now check your state laws about this next part ok? After you change your name you get a new drivers license right? Turn in only ONE of your old ones and keep it for Just-In-Case. Someone told me in her state it's illegal to claim to be two people at the same time, so check it out but again, it's for an unknown emergency (like not being able to get your passport changed in time for an important trip and for some reason you need another form of identification that matches your passport). Now to change your name, check what your state requires, but here in Tennessee, you have two choices. You can go to General Session Court, wait weeks, stand up in court in front of hundreds of people and explain to the judge why you need to do this. Or you could go to Chancery Court, fill out one form, go see the judge in their chambers, just you and them, and have it done in two minutes. I did the latter and found it was a nice experience. The people were all very nice and very helpful.
Once you have the name change you have to get to work. The first thing I did was get a new drivers license. You should know how to do that already. While I was there I picked up the voters registration form and filled it out. They only wanted a copy of your name change court order so that was nice.
I then started on my passport since I'm going out of the country for SRS. I tried the name change request but that was kicked back. If you need to change your photo you need to use form DSP-82 and send it to the National Passport Center in Portsmouth, NH. I wanted to change my sex from "M" to "F" on it so it would match my new picture. I mean no way will they believe I'm a guy now (the male face is really gone, I'm not kidding). To do that you need to send a letter from your doctor explaining your medical history, including psychological and hormonal treatments, the treatment stage your currently in and the expected date of your gender reassignment surgery. This is a few weeks later and I got my passport with sex listed as Female. It's only good for a year and then you have to show your letter from the doctor saying you've had SRS done. Then they issue a 10 year one. |
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About therapy |
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If you're reading this, you either have a therapist or you need one. You can't, and I mean that, you can't do this on your own. You need help. Not only can't you get the surgeries you'll want but this process is a tough one. You can't do it alone. Now I can't tell you much about who you should use. They should know the subject of course. If they don't find someone else that does. If you have been using someone for a long time for other things then fine, if the trust is there. Important word, trust. That's what you have to have towards your therapist. And they have to understand where you're coming from. You have to be able to tell this person EVERYTHING. Not just some of the truth. EVERYTHING. Don't lie or shade the truth. This is your life and you're only lying to yourself. If you can't find one or don't know how to look, find a support group and ask who they're using. If you live in small town you may want to go to a nearby city. Just go! And yes, you'll be better off dressing as a woman when you go. Sounds like that's a gimme but if you don't pass well it's a concern. |
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About giving yourself a shot |
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Not much to say on this one. It only applies if your using an injectable like estradiol valerate. The only thing I can say is don't go towards the side of your buttock, go as far back as possible where you can still see the syringe. You need to pull the plunger out a little to make sure you're not in a vein. You can tell when you're not because the liquid will turn kind of a white color near the front. Oh, and the reason I even mention going towards the back is, for me, it hurt a LOT less. The ones on the side hurt for days, the ones in the back didn't hurt at all. But that's me, you could be different. |
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About vaginal depth |
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While I was at my doctors office, I read the following from the Master and Johnson's report on human sexuality:
The average normal females vaginal depth, unstimulated, is 2.8 inches to 3.2 inches, stimulated is 3.7 inches to 4.1 inches. |
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