Q how does a blonde fix her bra

A a box of tissues
 

How do you kill a blonde?
Put a Microwave at the bottom of a pool and tell her that it's a T.V.
 

A red head, a brunette, and (of course) a blond walks into a bar. The bartender tells them in the bathroom theres a magical mirror that will give you something good if you tell it the truth. If you lie you get sucked in. The girls liked the idea so they all walked into the bathroom. The brunette said "I think i'm the best looking person in this bar" and out popped out her prize. Next the red-head and went up and dsaid "I think I'm the smartest girl in this bar" it was the truth so a prize popped out of the mirror. Next The blond went "I think...." She was sucked into the mirror and never seen again.
 

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Take the pin out of it and throw it back!!!


What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

RUN shes got a grenade in her hand!!!
 

What do call three blondes in a freezer?

Frosted flakes
 

There is a blonde in a playground and she had justlost her job so she decided to kidnap a child and ask for a million pounds in return. At the end of school she took a child and took him behind a tree. She wrote a note saying - " I have kidnapped your child and if you want him back you have to put a million pounds under the tree on the left hand side of the playground" She stuck the note on the childs back and told him to go home. The next day as expected there was a million quid under the tree with a note with it. It said - "How could you do this to a fellow blonde???"
 

Why did the Blond jump off the building?
She thought here Maxi had wings
 

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: Pull up their pants.

Q: Why do blondes like cars with sun-roofs?
A: More leg room.

Q: How do blondes get chocolate chips for cookies?
A: They take the shells of M&Ms.
 

A blonde got a job with the Public Works Department. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural
road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set
average of 2 miles per day to remain employed.

The blonde agreed to the conditions and starts right away. The supervisor, checking up at the end of
the day, found the blonde had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average!!

"Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out."

The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished 2 miles. The
supervisor thought,
"Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."

The third day however the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought,
"I need to talk to her before this gets any worse."

The boss pulled the new employee in and says,
"You were doing so great. The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you
only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from
meeting the 2 mile minimum?"

The blonde replied,
"Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the bucket."


 

A blonde,a brunette and a redhead were in the desert,when there car stalled.They each took one item from the car.The redhead took a canteen of water,the brunette took a bag containing a sandwhich,and the blonde took the car door.When they were walking the redhead decided to make coversation so she asked the brunette"Why did you bring the food?" the brunette answered back"In case I get hungry I will have something to eat.She asked back to the redhead"Why did you bring the water?" The redhead answered back"In case I get thirsty I will have something to drink" they both turned to the blonde and asked her why she brought the door she said "In case It gets hot I can roll down the window"
 

This girl was so blonde that she thought a quarterback was a refund!!!!
 

A blonde walks into a casino where she see's a coke vending machine. She puts in some money and a coke falls out. She smiles and keeps putting in more and more money, and getting heaps of cokes. She does this for about an hour or so until a guy comes up to her and says "Havent you had enough?" and she says back, "No! Cant you see i'm winning!"
 

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.
 

3 blondes house caught on fire,so they called the fire department. the fireman said how do we get there?the blondes say "Duh big red truck!
 

There was this blonde farmer who had these two horses that she couldn't tell apart. She went to her neighbor and asked if he had any ideas to help her. The neighbor told her to trim part of one horse's tails so one would be shorter than the other. The blonde thanked her neighbor and went home. She trimmed one of the tails, and she could tell her horses apart now, until one day when the other horse got his tail caught in the fence. Now the blonde had a problem cuz she couldnt tell the horses apart again. So she went back to her neighbor and asked him what she could do. Her neighbor said to trim one of the horse's ears. The blond thanked her neighbor again and went home. Then she trimmed one of her horse's ears. Now he could tell them apart. Until one day when the other horse go its ear caught in the fence. Now the blond was stuck. So she went back to her neighbor. Her neighbor suggested that she measure her horses. The blond thanked her neighbor once again and went home. It turns out, that the black horse is two inches taller then the white horse,.
 

There were three people on there way to Disney World. A blonde a brunett and a red head. There car broke down so they started walking. The saw a no truspassing sign and they heard someone coming so they went in a barn. There were 3 sacks. When the farmer came in he said " I wonder whats in this sack." The red head was in that sack and said "meow" the farmer said "oh nothing but a barn cat." The farmer looked at the sack the brunett was in and said " whats in this bag?" The brunett replied "ruff ruff" The farmer said "oh nothing but a cute little doggy" The farmer went over to the third sack the one the blonde was in and said " whats in THIS bag?" The blonde grined and shouted " Potatos"
 

A blonde was driving down the road and when she stopped at a red light there was a farmer and his wife walking by. The blonde being rude as it was asked what the heck they were up to walking along the road wih lose sheep. The farmer didn't reply but his wife did she said that they were going to the market to have these sheep sold off. The blonde then relized that the light had turned green and that there was beginning to be a line behind her so she said why take all the hasel of doing that let me take them to market and i will sell them for you! The farmer agreed and told her where he lived so that she could bring him the money. So they got the sheep packed up and the blonde left. But where she went no one knows because it turned out she wasn't a blonde but a dumb man with long blonde hair and he was a theif and the farmer lost all of his money and now is thinking back when he had his first blonde moment and now his son has growm and has done the same thing so let this be a lesson for you dont trust blondes with your sheep.
 

A Blonde was seriusly injured today when she fell off the horse she was riding. Her ankle got tangled in the sturrip on the saddle and the horse kept on going. The blonde was saved however when the manager of Wal-marts came out front of his store and unplugged the horse merry-go-round.
 

why was the blond smiling when lighting struck?


answer:she thought she was getting her picture taken.

 

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on top of her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

Q: Why can't blondes make cool-aid?
A: They can't figure out how to fit 2 quarts of water in the little package.

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do blondes walk on their tippy-toes?
A: Hot air rises.
 

What should you do if you ever meet a smart blonde?
WAKE UP!!!!

Did you ever notice that you never saw a blonde owl?

What is the difference between a blonde and a penny?
a penny has more sence (cents)

How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday!!!

What kind of weapons do blondes like to use the most?
blow guns

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a snake?
an idiot that is scared of itself!!

Q: How do you know if a brunette isn't really a blonde that dyed her hair?
A: try to sell her a microwave and say it's a TV!!
 

Q: Why did the Blonde get fired from the M&M's Factory?
A: She threw out all the W's!
 

Q; Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A; Because they forget the recipe
 

One night while a blond,a burnet,and a redhead were working the building caught on fire. It was three stories high and the firefighters were there. One firefighter said to the burnet to jump out the window on to the net. When she jumped the firefighters moved the net and the burnet splattered on the ground. When the redhead jumped they did the same thing. When they asked the blond to jump she said that she'll only jump if they step away from the net.

 

One blond walks into a store.The manager is at the desk.The blond ask if she can buy a t.v.The manager says they dont sell t.v's.So the blond shaves her head and comes back and asks if she can buy the t.v.He says that they dont sell t.v they only sell microwaves.

 

Two Blondes were walking in the woods,the first blonde turned to the other and said "look at those deer tracks" the other blonde replied "they aren't deer tracks, there wolf tracks". they kept arguing until 10 minutes later they got hit by a train.
 

A blonde a brunett and a redhead were driving acrosss a bridge when the car stalled. The only way to get help was to swim across. Well the brunett was a good swimmer so she went first after 5 miles she got tierd but she thought she could make it. After 10 miles she drown. So the redhead tried it. After 10 miles she began to feel tierd but she thought she could make it. After 15 miles she drown. The blonde always knew she was the strongest swimmer so she went afetr 19 miles she got tired so she turned around an swam back!!