2000, 1 hr 33 min., Rated R for strong sexual content, crude humor, language and drug use.�Dir: Todd Phillips. Cast: Breckin Meyer (Josh), Seann William Scott (E.L.), Amy Smart (Beth), Paulo Costanzo (Rubin), DJ Qualls (Kyle), Rachel Blanchard (Tiffany), Tom Green (Barry).

I really wanted to enjoy Road Trip. Really, I did. Any movie that pays homage to the best thing in life: a road trip, deserves plenty of room for failure.

However, being 24 I never thought I would be this young and feel so old at a movie. Do NOT see this and expect to laugh more than a few times if you are over 21 and/or graduated from college. It is not a laugh riot, although the possibility exists that you it may be mildly amusing throughout.

Before it came out Road Trip promised exactly what it delivers, cheap and dirty laughs with female nudity. The latter may be enough for some guys, especially upon learning that the luscious Amy Smart shows off what God gave her.

Unfortunately, though, that is not enough to recommend others see Road Trip.

What interesting occurrences does our group participate on this road trip from Ithaca, N.Y. to Austin, Texas?

• A few hours out the guys jump a 15-foot ravine where a bridge is out. The Ford Taurus makes it, only to explode moments later.
• Kyle eats French Toast that has spent time in the pants of the waiter. A long sequence that I'm sure had 15-year-olds in stitches, but left me yawning.
• To procure another vehicle, E.L. swindles a bus from a visually-impaired worker at the School of the Blind.
• As in Animal House the guys find solace with a crowd of African-Americans. This time, however, the relationship is more 90s than 1962. The guys get some grub and then get down and funky with the happy-go-lucky black guys and gals who know how to party. At the same time, Kyle beds him a whole lot of woman.
• E.L. and Josh make a "deposit" at a sperm bank for extra cash while learning something quirky about the male anatomy.
• During a stopover at Barry's grandparents' home they find the granddad watching a bikini-filled beach show while "pitching a tent" due to Viagra, then he smokes pot with Rubin.

I suppose that Breckin Meyer's Josh is the main character, a regular guy and freshman whose high school sweetheart goes to school in Austin, Texas. They vow to remain true to one another, but Josh is being pursued by Beth (Smart), a smart and attractive co-ed, and I have yet to figure out what she sees in such a boring guy.

E.L. (Seann William Scott) is the most colorful, yet pales in comparison to such classic college characters as John Belushi in Animal House or Jeremy Piven in the mostly unfunny PCU. He is your guide to fun, convincing the nerd to use his car on the trip, getting the guys in all sorts of dangerous situations before being the first to laugh off their troubles as college hijinks.

Tom Green plays Barry, a relatively minor character who serves as a narrator for the movie. Barry has been at Ithaca for eight years, serves as a bad tour guide, encourages females to experiment with their sexuality -- telling Josh that "the window to drink, do drugs and take advantage of young women is getting smaller" -- and is obsessed with seeing Rubin's snake eat mice.

Rubin (Paulo Costanzo) is a thinker and a pot smoker, which makes him "all brain, not enough cock and balls." The smartest of the bunch, he feels that (no doubt due to the constant stream of pot to his brain) his life is somehow important, telling the others "I can't die young, the people of earth need me."

Kyle (DJ Qualls) is the dorky virgin who lets himself stepped on by E.L. just for the opportunity to hang out with the guys. Not to mention he's the only one with a car or a credit card (what? in these days?). Kyle has the most room to grow for sure, learning to stand up for himself against his controlling father and finding a woman who appreciates his style, or lack thereof.

I really was less than thrilled with Road Trip so much so that when a cell phone rings twice behind me, I didn't care. Normally I want to strangle the abuser and post his head on a tiki torch in the front of the theater, but in Road Trip I was more interested in eavesdropping.