2000, 2 hrs 5 min., Rated PG-13.�Dir: Nancy Meyers. Cast: Mel Gibson (Nick Marshall), Helen Hunt (Darcy Maguire), Ashley Johnson (Alex), Marisa Tomei, Lauren Holly (Gigi ), Bette Midler, Alan Alda.

Apparently women want Mel Gibson's crotch and to see Britney Spears on Leno rather than make out with Mel. Great, that helps a lot, I'm much more in tune with what the heck goes on in the brains of the female gender.

I have no clue, other men have no clue, I don't even think women have a clue. Do they want a rebel or a provider? A hunk? A snugglebunny? Sensitive? Brad Pitt or Bill Gates? Pat Morita or Chow Yun Fat? Ben or Jerry? Or for the more playful of the ladies, Ben and Jerry? Me or Mel? Okay, maybe I shouldn't put it like that. Obviously Mel would feel bad. For having 1,000 wives to my one. Who is blind. Wow, I can actually feel my self-esteem crawling under my desk, sucking its thumb.

Recent studies have concluded that men listen with only half their brains. Some say that it's a good excuse to ignore your feminine companion. I say it means we're better at multi-tasking. While she explains why it's a bad thing to leave the milk carton open on the stove, I am also thinking about why a nickel defense would not work against the Rams. But apparently women don't like for us to use the other half of our brains unless it's planning a romantic vacation to Vail. Women worry a lot about life, family and friends. I worry that I might miss a 5-yard run for a first down while I'm in the bathroom.

Getting down to the actual film, I would like to give kudos to Gibson, who plays a lovable chauvinist pig who calls women "babe" and "honey", not realizing when they tire of his attitude towards them. I see nothing wrong with this, but apparently the womenfolk don't appreciate it too much. *Note to self: telling dirty jokes and using play names for coworkers regularly is bad*

Gibson meets his match in the film with Helen Hunt, as the new Creative Director, his boss. Talent-wise, Gibson outmatches his costar by leaps and bounds, but the script is also tipped in his favor, and I've also never been Hunt's biggest fan.

While the plot is a bit supernatural and some of the situations silly, What Women Want is a whole lot of fun, a big crowd-pleaser and attractive to the senses. There are so many things that could have been included to make it even funnier, but that would have made the film rated R!