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Jeff's Review of:
X-Men

Sept. 10, 2000

2000, 1 hr 45 min., Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence.�Dir: Bryan Singer. Cast: Hugh Jackman (Wolverine), Patrick Stewart (Prof. Charles Xavier/Professor X), Ian McKellen (Erik/Magneto), Anna Paquin (Rogue), Famke Janssen (Dr. Jean Grey), James Marsden(Cyclops), Halle Berry (Storm), Tyler Mane (Sabretooth), Ray Park (Toad), Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (Mystique), Bruce Davison (Senator Kelly).

Okay, so like the above review I saw this one a month ago, but my laziness makes it worse in that the film debuted two months ago. Thus, if you haven't seen it by now, it'll be on video by New Year's.

I never read the comic book, so I went in sight unseen, knowing only what I've perused in "Entertainment Weekly" and read from fans online. While I'm not a fan of reading comics, I do enjoy, for the most part, when they're adapted to the big screen. Blade, for example, was very entertaining, but X-Men can't come close to impressing me like the comic book-like The Matrix, and as a result the mutant flick only succeeds as decent summer popcorn entertainment.

It was the little things that made me subtract points from X-Men. For example, when our heroes need to slip into an area undetected, Storm brews pea-soup fog. Uh, no. Even I could tell that this is an automatic clue to the bad guys that the good guys are approaching. "Gee, you think that white-haired chick is making it foggy on an otherwise clear night?" If they wanted to sneak on an island, this was the one time the skills of the much-defiled Aquaman would be needed for underwater stealth.

Little things like that matter, such as when we see a close-up of Anna Paquin where she's supposed to look very cute and sad, we see a few strands of hair in her mouth, then cuts to a wide shot and immediately her hair has restored in one millisecond back to its perfect form. I'm not supposed to catch this? How can the director not?

"Mankind has always feared what it doesn't understand," Magneto (Ian McKellan) says to Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart), right before he tries to kill him and the good-guy mutants. Yeah, pal, let's ditch the morality tale and tell it like it is, you're power hungry and have a vendetta against the world.

The babe factor was high, so that at least I can point to as a good reason for me to see it again. Not to mention the audio in my theater seemed to be low and out of tune, so I'll need a fresh perspective on my 19" television screen.

Back to the babes: Paquin is a subtle beauty, Famke Jannsen is full-bore hot and Halle Berry in her white wig shows off some great qualities, but what accent is she attempting? Paquin is no better, as her southern twang comes and goes. But even worse are Berry's lines: "You know what happens to a toad when hit by lightning?" she asks Toad, appropriately. "The same as everyone else." Well, duh. Thanks, but Halle you're no Dirty Harry or John McClane of Die Hard when it comes to hip phrases to say before wasting the bad guys.

As for the guys, Cyclops was badly in need of a personality, the bad guys were too one-dimensional and Magnetto and Xavier didn't have enough time to explain and play out their disagreements. Their tete-a-tete could have been far more fascinating than two talented actors as McKellan and Stewart received. Hugh Jackman's Wolverine really was the only positive in this group. He's obviously the fan favorite character and demanded more screen time, so I look forward to seeing more about him in the sequel.

The action was pretty good, the effects sorta special and the characters were kinda interesting. Are you getting the idea that this action flick was so-so?

The verdict: -- X doesn't quite mark the spot.

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