2001, 2 hrs 18 min, Rated R for some language and brief sexuality. Dir: Robert Altman. Cast: Maggie Smith (Constance, Countess of Trentham), Kelly Macdonald (Mary Maceachran - Constance's Maid), Emily Watson (Elsie -Head Housemaid), Michael Gambon (Sir William McCordle), Kristin Scott Thomas (Lady Sylvia McCordle), Camilla Rutherford (Isobel McCordle), Bob Balaban (Morris Weissman), Ryan Phillippe (Henry Denton - Weissman's Valet), Helen Mirren (Mrs. Wilson - Head Housekeeper), Eileen Atkins (Mrs. Croft - Head Cook), Charles Dance (Lord Raymond Stockbridge), Geraldine Somerville (Lady Louisa Stockbridge), Tom Hollander (Commander Anthony Meredith), Natasha Wightman (Lady Lavinia Meredith), Jeremy Northam (Ivor Novello), James Wilby (The Honorable Freddie Nesbitt), Claudie Blakley (Mabel Nesbitt), Laurence Fox (Rupert Standish), Trent Ford (Jeremy Blond), Stephen Fry (Inspector Thompson), Ron Webster (Constable Dexter), Clive Owen (Robert Parks - Stockbridge's Valet).

I didn't want to pay money to see Gosford Park, if only for the satisfaction it might give an ass like producer/director Robert Altman. But since it was available in our work stash for free, I decided to give it a shot.

Essentially, Gosford Park is a fancy whodunit, like Clue, only with three times as many actors and twice as long, created for the high-and-mighty set. And no one wearing a dress near as alluring as Lesley Ann Warren's Miss Scarlet. Quick summary: It's a multiple storylined drama set in 1932, showing the lives of upstairs guest and downstairs servants at a party in a country house in England. . Comparing the styles, I'll stick to the cutesy lowest-common-denominator fun of Clue.

There is lots and lots of talking. This is by far one of the stuffiest movies I've ever seen. And since it's full of stuffy characters, meaning many rich folk who care about nothing but their standing in society, then I didn't care for most anyone in it. Not that I remembered who any of them were anyway. I think Altman had them say any name they thought of, since the audience wouldn't recognize any names with faces anyway. Either way, because there is so much talking (and in proper British accents, natch), the Hollywood folks felt obliged to give it the Oscar for Best Screenplay, even though I couldn't tell what the characters were saying � of the time and I love British accents.

Although, there was a positive to speak of. Actress Kelly Macdonald, as the maid to Maggie Smith, is a bright spot and luckily who much of the film revolves around. Since she's so adorable, and the servants have a few redeeming qualities, the film becomes halfway tolerable. The Inspector (Stephen Fry) has some fun, too, so I'll give props for his late entrance. Smith does well, too, and deserved her Best Supporting Actress Oscar nomination, but she's still very cold.

I will deftly attempt to avoid mentioning Ryan Phillipe at all, despite wondering how the heck he was selected to be among these classical actors. And I swear it's not just because I'm still upset that such a talentless hack was able to woo Reese Witherspoon to marriage.

I have no clue why Helen Mirren was nominated for Supporting Actress. She doesn't do anything! Okay, she does an important something, but there's not enough for her to do to make it worth her having the role at all. It was very worthwhile to have Emily Watson, though, who probably deserved Mirren's nomination. Watson was solid as always, and - off the subject - much taller than I thought.

I have a feeling that Gosford Park was only nominated for Best Picture to make Hollywood elite feel good about being huffy, since they live the same snobby lives on a modern scale.

In the end, I still wouldn't pay money to see it. On to another film I was wary of in 2001. . .

Charlotte Gray
2001. 2 hrs 1 min, Rated PG-13 for some war related violence, sensuality and brief strong language. Dir: Gillian Armstrong. Cast: Cate Blanchett (Charlotte Gray/Dominique), Billy Crudup (Julien Levade), Michael Gambon (Auguste Levade), Rupert Penry-Jones (Peter Gregory).

Based on a book I neither read nor ever heard of, I knew very little of this flick other than it starred the lovely Cate Blanchett, looking quite fetching as a brunette throughout much of it.

As for the story, it's about a Scottish woman, Blanchett in the title role, joining the French Resistance during World War II to rescue her Royal Air Force boyfriend who is lost in France. And if you're wondering where a woman gets such devotion for a man, so am I. But naturally, as all do in war, priorities change and the internal and external fight becomes much more.

This wasn't a great film, but it wasn't all that bad, either. The first fifteen minutes were too rushed, and I was wondering why the filmmakers would hurry us through what should have provided solid background to Blanchett's motivations. Instead, we're hurried through snippets of scenes, and left wondering exactly what makes this guy (Rupert Penry-Jones as Royal Air Force pilot Peter Gregory) so desirable as to risk her life in Vichy France. One of his friends says to her, "You know Pete, he's a real fighter." No, we don't know anything about Peter. Sure, he's a good-looking fella, but he has all the personality of a turnip.

Really, I have no complaints about the acting. Blanchett was marvelous, and the real guy figure in the film, rising star Billy Crudup, provided the personality so missing in Penry-Jones' Peter. Crudup plays a local French resistance leader, and gives plenty of spark in the role.

Michael Gambon was by far one of the highlights of this Park/Gray double-dip, playing sizable roles as memorable characters in each.

I wasn't sold on the predicaments the characters keep finding themselves in, but I was convinced - well, knew from historical research - that most seemed believable enough to provide realistic drama in a country torn from outside and within. Yes, it's not easy to figure out the French, willing to fight to the end and just as easily surrendering when someone says "gesundheit."

The verdict for each:

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