2001, 2 hrs 5 min., Rated R for violence and language.�Dir: Gore Verbinski. Cast: Brad Pitt (Jerry Welbach), Julia Roberts (Samantha Barzel), James Gandolfini (Leroy).

I enjoyed The Mexican, so go see it.

What? You wanted more?

In a quick online review at my message board of buddies, I said that all I could say was that I enjoyed it. Me likey. Jokingly my forum friends said they would certainly see the film based on such a lengthy review. But then another saw it and also said it was enjoyable and didn't have much to add. The next day my father wrote an email which went so far as to say that he and my stepmom "enjoyed it." Oh, but they added that they "didn't think it was too long, but a little slow at times...would have liked to have seen brad and julia on screen together a little more."

So, what else can I write to make you see The Mexican? Nothing, really, I can't really expound as to why this film was enjoyable. It made me laugh. Was I not entertained? Except for gladiators and tigers, yes, I was. I thought it was a little long, which is why Dad said he didn't think so, just slow in points. Well, that made it long for me but now we're splitting hairs.

Do you see how I've somehow stretched "I enjoyed The Mexican, so go see it" into multiple paragraphs? This is pure talent folks, people can't learn the ability to B.S. on a grand scale as well as I perfected in college. Check this out: I'm adding a big picture on the right that will make the review look longer on my site. Oh, yeah, bow down to my talent.

Fine, I'll try harder. Go see The Mexican for James Gandolfini. There, I said it, I revealed the best part of the film. Not Brad. Not Julia. James. Fat guy with a goatee and penchant for killing people. But Gandolfini is a sensitive hitman. I know, you're thinking "Boy, that's a stretch." But he actually has some depth that differs from Tony Soprano and thus creates a different role entirely, one that you'll get a kick out of. He doesn't kidnap Julia out of animosity. "I'm just here to regulate funkiness," he tells her, explaining his role in getting the Mexican (a priceless pistol) from bagman Pitt.

Alright, I can't add anything else. So see it, enjoy it, and try your best at explaining it in more than three paragraphs.

The verdict: -- I enjoyed it.

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