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Jeff's Review of:
Never Been Kissed
April 23, 1999

1999, 1 hr 47 min., Rated PG-13 for sex-related material and some drug content. Dir: Raja Gosnell. Cast: Drew Barrymore (Josie Geller), David Arquette (Rob Geller), Michael Vartan (Sam Coulson), Leelee Sobieski, Molly Shannon (Anita).

I am in love with Drew Barrymore. I know, I know, this is nothing new. I have felt this way for some time. It's nothing like stalking, but I adore her in everything she does.

In Never Been Kissed, she is Josie Geller, a 25-year-old newspaper copy editor who aspires to be a reporter, but being the youngest she is not given the opportunity. Her big break comes when she is assigned (because of that young age) to go back to high school and reveal whatever mysteries and scandals permiate the teen scene.

Here's my first beef with the film: you don't have to go back to high school to reveal any information that everyone doesn't already know. We've all been there, done that. And no copy editor I've ever heard of has their own office and assistant. Most newsrooms are open, with reporters and editors sitting across the aisle from each other, cubicle free in order to be able to yell across the room during big news and run around without worrying about running into each other.

Second, I am intolerant of people who need to--borrowing the words from her assistant's coffee mug--"Get a clue." Josie puts all common sense aside and embarrasses herself for weeks, when most people--especially someone who calls herself a journalist--would have researched before actually attending classes. For instance, the clothes. A trip to the mall is all she needs, with a stop at The Gap, The Limited, Old Navy, Goodwill or wherever all the teen girls are entering, go there! Also, stop at the hairstylist!

Third, the relationship between Mr. Coulson and Josie was creepy, seeing that he didn't know she was 25. It worked okay for the ulimate payoff, but the trip was not done well.

You've got to have a plot, but there are different ways of working the script. Josie is a nerd who undergoes a metamorphosis and becomes popular, but more than a few times I literally turned my face because I couldn't watch as she made a fool of herself. Here's a hint, Drew: the physical comedy was not necessary. I really hated TV shows like "Family Ties" and characters like George Costanza of "Seinfeld" for the same reason.

Don't get me wrong, the movie was enjoyable in many parts and had me laughing out loud a few times. Pam (who I saw the film with) said the film was "cute," and Barrymore is good at playing the underdog (such as in Ever After last summer).

The best scenes were the little things, with the band playing "The Simpsons" theme song and a perfectly placed 80s love song as Guy walks in the room. The prom was fun, and some of the costumes were a hoot, such as David Arquette dressed as Tom Cruise in Risky Business and a couple as the tortoise and the hare (the theme was "Famous Couples throughout History").

The supporting cast consisted of talented actors who were likeable, just not given much to do.

My final rant is about this need to stereotype teenagers into extremist groups. Mainly, this need to make popular kids appear as if they're uninterested in school, generally idiots and only have fun by calling others names and humiliating the less popular. This is a falacy that is past its time. I wasn't part of the "cool" group in high school, but I was friends with many and got along with all of them, and believe my group was one of several to make up the second tier. The popular kids at Raleigh-Egypt HS were mostly intelligent and interested in classes, as we had many of the same Advanced Placement and Honors courses. It was not considered "cool" to poke fun at the stoners or geeks, especially not when it comes to physical acts of humiliation such as in Never Been Kissed. Sure, come nightfall and weekends the cliques hung out separately, but where is the harm in that? You spent your spare time with those who you related--for me, that included friends from school and church. The key is to find a group that accepts you and wants to spend time with you, thus making you popular.

Sadly, movies like Never Been Kissed fall into putting teens into easy categories of the mean "cool" kids, nerdy smart kids, dopey Jamaican wannabes, etc.

The verdict: -- Two of the stars just for Drew.

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