Bulimic Bodybuilder Bully Part 1                              By MUK

 

I stood up from the toilet bowl having just made myself sick. I had done this after most meals since I was 15. That was 10 years ago. I had expected it to be a phase, yet here I was, still going through the same old ritual. Eat a meal, feel fat, visit the bathroom, throw up, weigh myself. I knew it was odd, I knew it was damaging me, but I just couldn’t stop myself.

 

I was not even overweight, I just felt fat. I was dating a great guy, he always tried to make me feel sexy, but it just didn’t help. I had been to counselling, again, a futile exercise. I was at my ultimate low when I was flicking through a magazine in a doctors waiting room. The double page spread was titles ‘Strong enough to beat bulimia’, and there was a photo of a really hot woman flexing a pretty big bicep. As I read the article, I could have been reading my own diary. She had the exact same thoughts as I did; yet she seemed to have beaten it by bodybuilding. I had always thought of female bodybuilders as girls wanting to be men. Hairy armpits, acne, gigantic muscles and a manly frame. However, the girl in the article was hot as hell. She was muscly, but not bulging. I wanted to be her.

 

When I got home, I looked on the Internet. It seemed that there were many of the ‘man like’ female bodybuilders, but there was also hundred, no thousands, of hot looking girls. Natural bodybuilders, something I hadn’t thought about before. In my search, I came across a familiar face; it was the girl from the magazine. She had her own webpage, and I was now surfing through her bikini clad before and after shots. Her before pictures were like looking in a mirror. I decided to email her.

 

I didn’t usually go online often, but I found myself visiting her site over and over again. And then, there it was, an email from her. She was really nice and offered to help me out, should I want to do the whole muscle thing. I got out the yellow pages straight away and rang my local gym. I was a member of a gym, and had my own bodybuilding personal trainer.

 

That night I told my boyfriend that I was joining a gym, however, I kept the whole bodybuilding thing a secret.

He said that would be a good idea, get fit etc.

For 2 weeks, I went to the gym every day. Leg press, bicep curl, extensions, cross trainer, barbells, I did it all; exactly what Carly had advised me.

 

Being a critic, I didn’t really notice any changes. I felt like I was failing. Was this all worth it? I hadn’t seen my man in 2 weeks as I was working out and felt fatter than ever. He was getting annoyed at the lack of contact. I agreed to give the gym a miss on Saturday and spend the night at his.

It was Friday afternoon; I left the gym and headed home. I was debating giving up the whole pointless gym thing when I bumped into an old friend in Tesco.

‘Hi Jane’ she said, then….

‘Wow, you have been working out some huh?’

I was puzzled, had she seen me at the gym?

She reached over and put her hand on my right arm.

‘Good work, keep it up, you look good’ she said before walking off with her trolley.

I felt my own arm. Was it harder? Or was it always like that?

I rushed home and ran to the bathroom mirror. I lifted my right arms and flexed it. My eyes opened in disbelief. Ok, I wasn’t a bodybuilder, but I had a bicep. The rest of me looked the same as always, 5’5 145 lbs, and not a hard 145. But the arm was good. The bicep was small, but you could see it. A noticeable bulge on my arm was there for me to clearly see. The gym was working. All that evening, I flexed again and again, using my dumbbells in between flexes. I loved it!!!!!

 

The next night I got round to my boyfriends. I couldn’t wait to show him. We hugged and before he could say another word, I told him to look closely.

‘I rolled up my sleeve and flexed my new bicep’

Would he notice as my friend had, or was this not as big as I seemed to think it was?

 

“Fucking hell Jane” he yelled

 

He reached over and pressed the top of the small rounded peak.

 

‘Good eh, do you like it? Not bad for 2 weeks work eh?” I said

 

“Do it again” he asked

 

I complied.

 

‘Jesus, it’s impressive. 2 weeks, wow’

 

Safe to say, he was shocked.

 

I told him about Carly, and the plan to get muscly enough to be a bodybuilder. I wanted him to approve, but I would have done it anyway.

 

‘Wow, that’s a big step’ he said, I think he was very unsure; perhaps he had the same perception as I had before about the man like female muscle girls.

 

Then suddenly, I had this really strong urge that I had never felt before.

 

‘Have me an arm wrestle’ I shouted

 

‘What?’ he replied nervously

 

‘Come on, it will be funny, I might even beat you ‘ I joked

 

He looked uncomfortable but we lay down on the floor and locked hands. My bicep was just about visible as we strained. I could feel immediately that he was stronger than me but just delaying my loss was a cool feeling. We both grunted as our hands shook and trembled with the strain. After about 45 seconds, he put me down gently.

 

‘Wow, had me scared for a few seconds there, I was getting tired, you are pretty strong’ he told me.

 

I laughed and we sat down to watch the DVD I had brought round. I had never had any sort of dominant tendency in my life, but the rush of being able to hold my won for just a few seconds was a huge rush. I suddenly had visions in my head. Visions of me with muscle, of me overpowering my boyfriend and making him worship my power and muscle. I have no idea where this feeling came from, but it felt good and I kept it with me over the next few weeks as I followed the Carly plan at the gym.

 

My boyfriend was supportive; he knew the gym was helping my disorder. He asked me to flex a few times, and each time said that I was getting more muscly, and looking stronger. He must have known inside that I was indeed getting stronger and would very soon be at least his equal. Did he mind? We would find out no doubt.

 

It was about 3 months now since I first picked up a dumbbell. I wasn’t the best judge, but the comments, mainly positive, had increased. I wasn’t at a stage yet where I felt comfortable being naked, or flexing in a full-length mirror, but I knew my body was changing, and I liked it. Carly agreed to meet me, and we trained together. Next to her, I felt fat. She was in amazing shape, weeks out from a competition. She gave me confidence, motivation and a reason to lift harder than ever.

 

I went over to stay at his house one Saturday night. He asked about my meeting with Carly, and how my lifting was going. I showed him the bicep again; this was the first time I had really flexed for 2 months or so.

His jaw dropped. He grabbed it immediately and shouted

‘Fucking hell Jane, I ain’t arm wrestling you now’

 

‘What do you mean?’ I asked

 

‘Cos I am not sure I can handle losing an arm wrestle to my girlfriend’ he laughed

 

‘Come on Pete, I am not that strong yet’ I said, genuinely

 

‘You are joking, your muscle is huge, it’s bigger than mine’ he said honestly

 

‘What, no way, let me see’ I asked

 

Red faced he rolled up his sleeve and flexed. He had some bicep, but he was right, mine was a tiny bit bigger, and a lot more defined and a hell of a lot harder (something I found out as I squashed it with my hand).

 

I got that rush feeling again. I was actually more muscly than my boyfriend. Maybe I was stronger too?

 

‘Come on then, let’s arm wrestle’ I gestured

 

‘No seriously, you are stronger, I can tell, no need to prove it’ he laughed

 

I put my arm on the table. This time you could see my bicep defined in that bent position.

He begrudgingly joined me at the table. We locked hands again, and started to push. Last time, I had noticed that he was stronger from the very start, this time no such feeling existed. I giggled as I suddenly realised I might well win this.

 

He was giving his all, so was I but we were in true stalemate. 30-seconds passed, 45 seconds, 1 minute. I started to push him back. He gave a grunt. He was spent, I wasn’t. He began to go down, slowly at first but then rapidly as his energy had gone.

The slam echoed off the kitchen walls.

 

‘YES!!!!!!!’ I screamed

 

He sat and rubbed his arm. He looked up at me as though to say, you are superior. The rush was immense. I almost had an orgasm.

 

I had a grin ear to ear, he sat in shock.

 

‘I did it, I beat you, I am actually stronger than you’ I squealed

 

He looked ashamed. ‘Yeah I guess you are’ he admitted

 

‘Want a rematch?’ I asked, keen to get that rush again

 

‘Ha, you are joking, I think I am humiliated enough don’t you’ he smiled

 

‘Aw babe’ I said as I walked over and flung my arms around him.

 

‘Don’t worry babe, nothing to be ashamed about, I am a bodybuilder now’ I comforted him

 

He laughed. ‘Come on, let me see the biceps that just beat my ass’

 

I flexed again, and after the intense struggle it was swollen to the biggest it had ever been.

 

He put his hand on the muscle and rubbed it. I flexed harder and lifted my arm up, taking him slightly off his seat.

 

We went over to the sofa and started to watch the DVD. Every now and then I would giggle, thinking about the fact that I was actually stronger than my boyfriend.

 

After the movie had finished, he turned to me.

 

‘Babe, you’re not going to dump me now that your stronger than me are you?’ ha asked

 

I laughed and gave him a massive hug.

 

‘Don’t be so silly, I love you, and now that I am stronger I can get my own way all the time… only joking!!!’ I told him.

 

We hugged but all I could think of was getting back to the gym, getting stronger and more muscly. I wanted to be able to pin him, really overpower him, not just win through stamina. I wanted to be confident enough to pose for him, make him worship me. It would take time, but hell I was going to get there…..

 

 

To be continued

 

 

 

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