Jenny Jones and the Muscle

 

The opening credits role and the audience whoop and cheer as the camera pans in on the host of top US chat show Jenny Jones.

 

“Hello and welcome to a special edition of the Jenny Jones show. Today, we are going to get down with some serious beef”

 

The audience whoop again and go crazy as clips run of several male bodybuilders.

 

Jenny calls a halt to the videotape.

 

“Whoa there. We have seen these guys on the show before, but what I meant today was that we are going to see some REAL muscle”

 

Again the cheers go up, only this time we see and array of on stage posing from the recent Ms Olympia female bodybuilding championship.

 

“That’s right, we are going to meet several special ladies who have built their bodies and are joining us today to tell their tale and give a few surprises”

 

Being US TV, we go to the first of many advert breaks. When we return, Jenny is ready to introduce the first guests.

 

“My first guests today are a newly married couple. Nothing unusual there I hear you say. But take a look at their wedding photograph”

 

The screen is filled with the bride, in a beautiful white dress. Only this bride has really muscly arms on view, and she is cradle carrying her new husband who looks far from muscular.

 

The crowd stand and go wild as the couple walk on hand in hand. He is 5’11 160, the pretty bride is maybe 5’6 and 155. Halfway across the stage, she re-creates the wedding photo, and scoops up her husband in her arms and carries him to the seating area.

 

After a pause for the audience to cheer some more, the couple sit down, both smiling at the camera.

 

Jenny leans over and asks the couple to explain their unusual situation.

 

The guy begins… “We had dated for maybe 2 years and Yvonne kept on hinting that we should make the move and get engaged. I joked to her that I would only consider marriage the day she could beat me arm wrestling. I thought nothing of it until Yvonne joined the gym, and began to report back on her progress. After maybe 6 months, I started to notice a few bumps on the arms and abs. I still didn’t really think much of it. Then one day, I came home from work, and Yvonne told me that she was ready”

 

Yvonne then buts in and carries on with the story.

 

“I had been waiting until I was sure, but that day it just felt so right. So I got into a bikini and waited until John came home. I burst into the room and began to do a kinda bodybuilding show for him. I mean, I wasn’t comp size like I am now, but I knew I was getting some good muscle.”

 

Jenny stops the story and asks Yvonne to show us what she has accomplished in 5 short years. Yvonne happily stands up and the dance music begins. The audience clap along as Yvonne starts her bodybuilding routine. Her quads are shredded and she takes great pleasure in showing them for a close up. She does the shake to loosen then tense her quads, filling the screen for the viewers back home.

 

After a brief commercial, Yvonne goes on with the story.

 

“Well yeah I posed a little like that and then I said, will you still marry me when I can beat you? He agreed and was real red faced, I think he knew what was coming”

 

Jenny buts in, “Did you John?”

 

John looks a bit red faced again, “Well, I was pretty worried, but I was a guy so hey, I fancied my chances”

 

The audience boo his chauvinistic comment

 

Yvonne goes on

 

“So we knelt down on the coffee table and we locked up. I was smiling; I just knew I was going to win. John was really going for it, and if I am honest, I was just at half power. I was a bit shocked at how weak he was. After maybe a minute, John was shaking, so I thought it was time and I slammed his arm down hard. He tried to pull away, but I kept hold of his hand and looked in his eyes and said, we are getting married then? He nodded before putting his head in his hands, I think he was a little ashamed that his wife to be could kick his butt”

 

Jenny looks at John, “So, how did that night change your relationship?”

 

John laughs, “Well I try not to piss her off anymore that’s for sure”

 

A roar of laughter goes up from the floor

 

“Well, I mean, it hurt my pride and I knew that she was stronger. I didn’t realise she was going to get bigger and stronger and become a full on bodybuilder. But I love her, and I have to just accept that”

 

Jenny goes to the floor for some audience questions

 

“Hey, question for John, man, does the muscle get you going?”

 

John laughs, “At first I was shocked at what I was marrying, but when I got used to it, hell yeah, I never fail to get hard”

 

The same guy asks for more details on the couple’s sex life.

 

Yvonne takes the mike,

 

“Well you know what, I was never really the dominant type, but I guess muscles and strength on the body give the same in your mind, and I have been known to have sex where and when I like”

 

Again, the audience love it, and John looks a little sheepish at the fact that his submissiveness has just been revealed on worldwide TV.

 

Following a commercial, Jenny is centre stage with John and Yvonne seated in the background.

 

Jenny smiles at the camera and prepares to introduce the next guest.

 

“Ok, so we have one man who loves the muscles on his wife, but our next guests have an unusual situation. We are about to meet Phil. He has been a fan of female muscle for many years, and regularly goes to the big shows all over the USA. He moved to the UK 8 years ago, and in the past 3 years he has not been back to the States. We called him and told him about the theme of today’s show, and we decided to get him on. Phil….”

 

The audience give up the cheers as Phil comes onto the stage. He is average build, and makes no secret of his love for female muscle as he goes over and plants a kiss on the cheek of the first guest Yvonne.

 

Jenny directs Phil to the seat in centre stage.

 

“So Phil, tell us about your bodybuilding interests”

 

Phil tells the audience about his unusual fantasy for female muscle.

 

“I guess I was 12 when I saw a female bodybuilder on the front of a magazine. Right there and then in the store, I knew I had found the perfect look. I joined a gym, just so I could chat up the girls who lifted. Then I found the Internet and I get on well with many of the top names in the sport”

 

Jenny stops him, “You do sessions right?” she asks

 

Phil pauses then goes on,

 

“Yes maam, I did my first 3 years ago when I moved away from home. You know, mostly posing, bit of a strength test. It’s a real thrill to me”

 

Jenny smiles, “Well, we didn’t just bring you here to talk about your fantasy, we have a special surprise for you”

 

The dance music hits and a masked female bodybuilder comes onto the stage and begins to do the full posing show in front of Phil.

 

Phil is enjoying, and takes the opportunity to feel the huge biceps of the woman. The peaks must reach 15 inches, and the veins on show are incredible.

 

Eventually the music dies down and Jenny takes the stage.

 

“Ok, Phil, what do you think?” she asks

 

Phil nods with a gigantic grin to show his approval.

 

Jenny goes on, “Well, if you can beat her arm wrestling, you get to go backstage for a free session, but if she beats you in less than 30 seconds, she will reveal herself to you and the public and you get nothing.

 

Phil suddenly looks a little concerned about this match on national TV, but hey, a free session would save him over $300. They go over to the real arm wrestling table, and the way in which the woman puts her hand on the table, shows that she has done this before.

 

An official comes out in the black and white stripes to make sure the match is above board. The muscle woman in the mask is ripped; Phil looks very oft as the 2 link hands and jostle for the early start.

 

The referee cups the 2 hands and shouts “Go” as he withdrawn his retaining hold. Phil strains, the masked woman is taking it easy and manages a flex with her left hand for the camera. Phil grunts, but after 20 seconds, the crowd begin the countdown to the 30-second cut off period. 9…8…7…6…5…4…3…  just as Phil is about to celebrate his win, the female muscle woman slams his hand with ease to the table.

 

The crowd go wild as Phil drops to his knees holding his aching right arm. The woman begins to pose, quads and biceps in his face.

 

Jenny comes back, “Ok, she is way too strong for our guest Phil, I guess she is about to reveal who she is…”

 

Phil looks up as the woman reaches back to take off the mask. Her biceps pop up once again as she unties the chord. The mask drops off and Phil looks like he has seen a ghost.

 

“Recognise her?” asks Jenny

 

Phil is in shock.

 

“Damn, it’s my mother,” exclaims the shocked fan.

 

The two sit down, Phil shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“So, Phil’s mom, what’s the story?” asks Jenny

 

The female bodybuilder, well into her 50’s tells the crowd about the journey she has made.

 

“Well, when Phil moved out, I was cleaning his room and found this stack of muscle magazines. I was blown away by what I saw. I just wanted that look, so I got myself a personal trainer and hit the gym.”

 

We get a selection of poses again before Jenny takes the mike to Phil

 

“So Phil, what do you think?” asks the host.

 

Phil looks very sheepish…

 

“Well, I am shocked, I had no idea. It kinda sucks that my mom can kick my ass, but I have to say, she looks absolutely amazing”

 

The crowd give a firm round of applauses for his honesty.

 

The next commercials play before Jenny smiles for the camera once more.

 

“Ok, our final guest is Joey. Joey was well known at his High school as the bully. He made the lives of many kids, a living hell. He thinks the show today is about bullying, and has no idea about the real theme of the show. Joey picked on one girl more than most. Elizabeth was described in the yearbook s the perfect geek, and Joey would steal dinner money from her, pull her pig tails, and call her names including ‘supergeek’, and ‘Thin Lizzy’. Lizzy left school at 6 feet tall and only 120 lbs.”

 

An image of  ‘Thin Lizzy’ is on the screen. 120lbs was on the heavier side of any estimate.

 

“Ok, before we get Joey onto the stage, lets see what happened to Elizabeth today”

 

We run into footage on muscle beach. Liz is curling a huge barbell. Her biceps look at least 17 inches.

 

“Hi Jenny, this is ‘Supergeek’. I have been bodybuilding now for 11 years and am due to take part in the heavyweight class at this years Jan Tana in Las Vegas. I am coming to the show to meet up with Joey Harrison and hopefully get an apology. See you then”

 

We then get treated to her double bicep pose, and the biceps now look closer to 18 inches. She is in comp shape and ripped as hell, with veins all over her arms.

 

Jenny is back

 

“Ok, so lets welcome first of all Joey Harrison”

 

The stocky built 35 year old makes his way onto the stage to a chorus of booing.

 

“Joey, hi. Why don’t you give us your side of the story on this bullying special show. Is it true that all bullies show remorse when they mature?”

 

Joey begins to laugh

 

“Well, I was a pretty hard guy, you know, the jock. People kind of expected me to throw my weight around and show people who is boss. I was pretty nasty to some of the guys and girls, but hey, we all go through it right”

 

More booing.

 

“Hey, come on” adds Joey. “Bullying is functional. It puts people in their social place. You know, the strongest at the top, and the weak fall by the way side. Life is the same, we all have a place, a role, we have to fit into it right?”

 

Booooooooooooooooooo

 

Jenny asks the big question,

 

“So was there anybody who was the runt of the litter, the weak of the weak as you say? And if so, would you feel bad about what you did to him or her?”

 

Again, Joey laughs

 

“Well, there was one girl, Liz I think she was called. I gave her a pretty hard time. As I said, it is just what happens, I don’t have anything to say sorry for, the strong survive, the weak fall by the wayside. If I saw her today, I guess I would pull her pigtails again, just to remind her who is who in the pecking order”

 

Boooooooooooooooooo

 

“Ok, well guess who we have here for you tonight? And before you pull her pig tails, you might want to take a good look” warns Jenny

 

The music starts up and the crowd go wild as the tall, massive female bodybuilder comes onto the stage. In heels she is up to 6ft 4 and her calves are bulging as she walks across the stage. Liz stands before him in her gold bikini. She is oiled up in comp shape. She begins to flex each muscle group. The shredded quads, the 6 pack abs, the huge 16 inch biceps that split in 2 over a huge peak. Veins are bulging and she is one fine specimen. The crowd are going wild. Joey shakes his head; he looks grossed out, but also a little weary at this muscle mass before him.

 

Jenny asks Joey if he likes what he sees and if he now wants to apologise.

 

“Is this some sort of joke, is this a guy?” scoffs Joey.

 

This is like a red rag to a bull. Liz grabs Joey, he puts his hand son her wrists and tried to pull her off, but she is way too strong as Joey finds out immediately. His face begins to change, he is shitting himself.

 

Liz throws Joey from his seat to the floor. Security runs over but Jenny Jones gestures for them to hold back.

Joey looks to them for help, but Liz is too pissed to stop. In one fast move, she gets on top of him. He ripped quads are now around his waist and the pressure begins to increase.

 

The audience go wild as Liz squeezes the hell out of her former tormentor.

 

“Ow, please, ow ow, stop arghhhh” screams Joey.

 

Jenny steps over them as she says her goodbyes. Liz continues to hurt Joey and the muscles ripple in the background.

 

“Ok, thanks for tuning in. See you next time for a show about dominant women.”

 

As the credits begin to roll, Jenny grins and rolls up her sleeve and flexes, the crowd go wild once more as Jenny shocks them with her 15 inch guns.

 

So Long!!