MUSCLE
RUB.
My sister
teased and taunted me throughout my teenage years. She picked on my biggest
weakness - my body. I was always a skinny boy and was teased by guys at school
accordingly. What was less palatable was the fact I was teased and taunted by
my sister for the same reason. She was also thin, but athletic and as she
developed, quite muscular for a young girl. There are many many episodes
of this happening. She is four years eight months younger than me but that
didn't stop her. Here is one episode I can relate. There are too many
similar ones to even count, as it occurred from my early teens for about ten
years.
This
occasion would have happened in the summer when I was 16. At that stage my
sister was yet to turn 12. Watching TV was always a bit hazardous
if Nellie was watching too. There was always the possibility that
something would come on TV to give her an excuse to
display a little muscle.
There
was an advertisement on the TV for "Deep Heat" muscle rub. She always
perked up at the mention of muscle rub. Nellie had increasingly began to noticed quite visible muscles in a few places on
her body - mostly the arms legs and abdomen. She was active in gymnastics and a
frequent swimmer. One time this advertisement came on when we were watching TV
after school. Only she and I were in the room, as our parents were out and
both brothers were playing in the yard.
We
were both in our school uniforms and it was summer, and short sleeves were part
of both her uniform and mine. She made a pretty obvious remark, with a giggle in her voice. "That stuff would be
no use to you - you've got no muscles to rub" I didn't react, but stared
straight at the TV. I recognised that tone of voice - it had a taunting edge to
it, and brimmed with self confidence. She was clearly in the mood for a little
teasing. As I stared at the TV I couldn't see her because her chair was
slightly further back. But you know when you can just feel someone's presence?
I could feel her eyes drilling into me, and an overbearing presence
looming from behind to my right. I could just imagine the smile I'd
seen plenty of times before. People said she was beautiful, but I was her
brother and didn't see it that way at all. That particular smile that to most
people meant beauty, just made me nervous. I was strange to be made
to feel a little uneasy by someone I was trying hard to ignore - especially as
it was my sister so so much younger and smaller than me. "Daniel"
she said in a quiet but assured manner, "Daniel" she said again,
"Look at this." I stared straight at the TV doing my best not to
look. "Go on" she laughed "you won't be able to not look!"
The cocky little cow, I thought to myself - someone needs to teach that girl a
lesson. But she was right - I was trying so hard not to look. She has flexed
her muscles lots of times - she did so at any opportunity. I couldn't blame her
- if I had muscles like that even at 16 I would flex them, let alone at 11
years old. She knew that I had some kind of fascination for muscles - she could
sense something in me whenever she flexed, and whatever it is that she saw, she
clearly got a kick out of it. It was a mixture of envy, admiration, awe,
submission and even a little intimidation. I always tried to make light of it
with a nervous laugh or a "not bad for a little girl I suppose" type
of comment, but anyone could tell that was not how i was feeling. I couldn't
help myself and she knew it.
I
gave in like she knew I would. I slowly turned my head to look. She
had slid her short sleeve right up to her armpit. She knew the full effect
was only achieved that way. Her right fist was clenched tightly, with her arm
bent a little more than 90 degrees. My gaze moved from her fist, down her
forearm, and there it was. This wasn't a new sight to me, but it had
the same effect every time. My mouth went dry, my eyes
widened and fixed themselves on her upper arm. I was instantly transfixed. It
didn't look real to me. I was always flexing privately to myself, hoping my
muscles were at last developing. Occasionally I could detect a slight bulge in
my arm and feel a little encouraged. I had done so that very morning. The sight
of her arm brought me right down with a heavy reality check. Her thin arm rose
up into a tight, defined , rounded and peaked
bicep. Her short sleeve, pushed as high as she could, looked strained as her
deltoid expanded to stretch the fabric. She has smooth young girls
skin, and a quite elegant forearm, but with with an evident power my male
arm could come nowhere near. Nellie was able to intimidate me so much like
that. She knew that and wanted to milk the situation to the utmost. My stare -
for that's what it was by this stage - I was way past the point of even
being able to pretend to be nonchalant - shifted
further to look at her face. She was looking straight at that bicep herself
with a look of complete, smug superiority. There was a smile playing around her
lips, but she was trying hard not to let it beak out totally. She widened
her mouth in mock amazement and gave a little shake of the head as if to say
"Wow, just look at the size of that muscle!" She then slowly
turned her head towards me while keeping that
arm - that amazing arm - flexed as tightly as ever. As she did so the mock
amazement slowly turned into her confident smile. She knew exactly how to
extract the most from the situation. She saw me looking in utter admiration and
fixed her grin at me. She had seen it before, it was easy for her to get
me that way but she clearly couldn't get enough of the feeling of power it gave
her. Her back was straight her nose was in the air and her powerful little body
was taught . I from a few minutes before hand had
changed from a big brother sitting proudly on the biggest armchair, into a hunched and slouched shadow of a male - with my knees
against my chest and arms tucked up behind them out of her sight. I couldn't
even let her see my arms at this point. It was a position of
complete submission. If our parents had walked in they would have been
shocked at the sight. Though I was probably twice her weight,
at that very instant she dwarfed me. But no-one walked in - it was just
me and her, in silence. I wanted to go away but she knew as long as she kept
flexing, I'd might as well have been chained to the
wall. Like a fish on a hook - I was going nowhere.
She
broke the silence when she decided to. After all who was in charge
here? "See that" she said, "it's called a muscle, I need to show you my muscles because you never see proper muscles
otherwise. Not like those puny arms of yours"
I
wanted to go over and touch it. What did it feel like, was it hard, soft
rubbery? But i couldn't do that. I just sat there as she revelled in the
complete control she held.
Then
without warning, she stood up. I flinched as I was woken from my
muscle induced trance. She noticed the flinch "I'm
not going to hurt you" she giggled. "I'm going to play outside,
you've had enough" she smiled.
She
left, and I just sat there. I heard her playing outside - shouting,
laughing and exuberant. I huddled on the armchair humiliated, cowed and
embarrassed. At the same time, part of me loved it. I couldn't get the sight of
her bicep out of my head. I wanted her to taunt me like that again and
again.
I
seldom had to wait long.