Piledriven Muscles by Paul Schilling ([email protected])

Based on a comic script by Madison Marbury   

    The fleet was in for two weeks. Popeye and Bluto got time away from the 

ship they served on, but their fights were never the same if they weren't 

over Olive and she was nowhere near Sweethaven. Then both sailors received 

the same letter.

     "Dear Boys,

     Have gone to Florida to help the studio to move back to New York. 

     Have Fun, fight good, see you next time you're in Port.

                                        Olive"         

     "Ain't that just like a dame?" Bluto scoffed as he pushed Popeye down.

    "Yeah, ain't it?" Popeye agreed as he gave Bluto a friendly sock in the 

jaw.

    Bluto stood up, clenched his fist, and reared back... then he dropped it. 

"Hey, chum, let's go an' do some fishin' on our own. Dese waters are full of 

'em." He winked at Popeye.

    It took a little bit, but Popeye caught on. He winked back at his buddy. 

"Right, sees yah in a couple of days, yah swab!" And each went his own way.

    Enter our heroine, Summer, secretary/girlfriend to the owner/operator of 

Gandolfini Construction, Vinnie. It was one of those hot summer days and 

Summer was watching Vinnie operate his huge crane, his muscular body 

glistening with sweat. She was there in the office daydreaming... "What a 

maaayn, and all those big muscles are mine." She was studying Vinnie's 

adonis-like body so hard that even the fan couldn't cool her off. One hand 

went inside her blouse, caressing her soft double-A tits until she was 

pinching her hardened nipple, and her other hand

went inside of wet silk panties. Her masturbation daydream was soon halted.

    "CRAAAASSSSHHH!" It was some kind of car/truck collision. Immediately she 

was brought back to reality. "Oh, my," she thought as she quickly adjusted 

her clothes.

    "Sweetie pie," came a deep but gruff voice, "go find out what all the 

ruckus is about. I can't leave."

    "Okey-dokey," she answered, and ran out the door to the entrance of the 

construction site. 

    Summer tried to push her way through the crowd but was only pushed back. 

"Oooof," she grunted as she was pushed down on the hard concrete. 

    Popeye was just rounding the corner when he saw Summer sitting on the 

sidewalk. He went over to help her up. "Here, let's me helps youse up, young 

lady."

    "Thank you," Summer replied, and then she relayed what she had heard to 

the sailor."

    Comes on," and with that, Popeye grabbed Summer's dainty wrist and fought 

his way through the crowd.

         "Oh, my!" She hid her head on his shoulder.

    Along came one of the local constabulary and, with a heavy Irish accent, 

said, "Move

along, ain't nottin' to see. The ambulance and fire department are on their 

way."

    "You stays here," Popeye ordered Summer. "I'm goin' ta sees if I can 

help."

    Having overheard this, the cop turned to Popeye and said, "There nottin' 

you can do here, sailor, unless you can lift that truck off the hood so the 

medics can get to the car."

    "Of course I can. Don't ya knows that I yam Popeye the Sailor?"  

    "I don't care if yuir Betty Boop," the cop said, pushing him back, "we 

need a crane to lift that mess up."

    Popeye spun his pipe in his mouth. "I YAM POPEYE THE SAILOR!" Toot, toot. 

He then pulled out a giant can of Spinach from his shirt, popped it open, and 

swallowed the contents.

    The cop, the crowd, and especially Summer, were in awe as they watched 

Popeye's muscles swell to near bursting his uniform. With Spinach enhanced 

strength, Popeye ripped the cab roof of the truck off and pulled the driver 

out, With lightning speed, he took the driver over to the waiting ambulance, 

then headed back to car. He flexed his arms as he lifted the truck off the 

car so that the driver and passenger of the car could be rescued.     

    The cop removed his hat. "Well, I'll be a..."     

    Summer, all hot and bothered by seeing the muscle-bound sailor, started 

singing, "He's strong to the finich 'cause he eats his spinach..."    

    Popeye joined in as he flexed his extra large arm and held them. "...I'm 

Popeye the Sailor man!" Toot, toot.     A few days later... 

    The noon whistle blew at Gandolfini Construction.  

    Vinnie stopped Summer as she left for lunch. "Dis is the toid day you 

been out wit dat sailor... what's he got dat I don't?" the huge, 

tough-looking worker said, sneering at young Summer, cooing over Popeye as 

they had lunch. 

    "He's got muskles... I mean muscles on top of muscles," she said, walking 

past, snubbing him. 

    "Muscles on top of muscles, huh?" he screamed as he tightened his arms. 

"Well, what are dese, huh, chopped liver?" Vinnie started flexing his own 

upper body. Muscles began to grow huge, ripping seams, popping buttons, 

leaving his shirt rent like swaddling.    

    Summer stopped, turned around, and looked at her swollen boyfriend, who 

was gnashing his teeth as he held his pose. She began to massage her breasts 

in front of him, then lifted them up and licked her cleavage, then said, 

"Yes," then left to join Popeye, not far away.   

    Vinnie quickly dropped the pose, "Ay! That scrawny runt's makin' time 

with my goil!"

    Vinnie ran over to a crane, got in, and manipulated a wrecking ball, 

smacking the sailor away. 

         "THWACK!" 

        Summer held her face in horror.

    "Ha! And they said SWING was over!" Vinnie laughed as he walked over, 

picking up the unconscious sailor with one hand. He stood Popeye up and, with 

his barrel chest, pounded him straight into the ground, just enough to trap 

Popeye's forearms tight at his side. 

     "Lemme innerduce ya to a little thing we call..." At this time, Vinnie, 

like an emcee, showed a large vertical press with a single piston on the base 

to the half conscious sailor. "...THE PILEDRIVER!"

    Summer, seeing what's about to happen, grabbed Vinnie by one of his large 

arms. "Vinnie! For the love of God, NO!"   

    Vinnie ignored the tugging and backhanded Summer. "SHADDUP, SKANK! I'll 

deal with you later!" He sent Summer backwards, headlong into a steel girder, 

knocking her out.     

    Popeye was being driven into the ground as the piledriver repeatedly 

Klanked! against his lolling head. "He's done for. Let's see how 

'hard-headed' dis squab of a swab really is." Vinnie sat in the control area, 

laughing. 

    "Ouch!" Summer said as she felt the knot on her head. She saw what the 

sadistic Vinnie was doing to Popeye. "A few more blows and he's done for." 

Angry and sore, she looked around for some type of lever to stop the deadly 

machine . All seemed lost when... "Hey, wait a minute." She spied Popeye's 

can of spinach lying on the ground. "It must've popped out of his shirt when 

Vinnie put him into the ground." She grabbed the twenty-two ounce can and, 

with both hands,popped the top open. "Nobody uses me as their punching bag!" 

and she swallowed the entire can! As she swallowed, she heard a familiar riff 

of a song go off in her head. Her muscles became energized. Summer watched as 

energized bulges headed down to her feet and back into her upper body. As 

this happened, she snapped out both her arms, watching the large balls of 

energy fly into her fists and forearms, growing into chiseled muscle - 

Popeye-huge. Summer didn't take the time to ponder the chiseled and 

sculptured look or what she could possibly do with them. She saw the large 

piston rise. "I've had it with construction!" she screamed as she ran to the 

rescue.       

    Summer arrived in the nick of time. Skidding to a halt, she leaned into 

the path of the piledriver and extended her arm, positioning her biceps for a 

flex so that the driver would strike it. "Time for some DEMOLITION!" Summer 

shouted angrily as she grunted, flexing her biceps. The volcanic force of the 

titanic, veined biceps shooting up met the piledriver with catastrophic 

results. "KRRRAAAK!" The driver was mangled and cleaved.    

    Vinnie stopped and looked in amazement. "It can't be... That, that was a 

new tungsten carbide head... nobody's dat strong!" He looked around, saw 

Summer helping a very dazed and bruised sailor up, and rushed over.     "Come 

on, Pop..." Summer started to say when Vinnie grabbed Summer by the upper arm 

and examined her hardened, veiny forearms.   

    "How did... but that was... I DON'T GET IT!!!" Vinnie said, looking back 

and forth.    

    "You'll get more," Summer said as she pulled her arm away, "if you DON'T 

leave us alone!!!

    "Vinnie grabbed Summer again, tossing her off to the side. "I still ain't 

done wit' your boyfriend." He kicked Popeye over so his chest was exposed, 

then grabbed a hammer and, without saying a word, raised it.  

    Summer grabbed the peen. "No, you're not." With spinach-infused strength, 

she pulled the hammer down. "My... uhhh... Vinnie would not kill no one!!!"   

    "You're right, baby," Vinnie replied, grabbing Summer and throwing her on 

top of Popeye, "I'll just pulverize the bot' of youse... your NEW boyfriend 

and YOU!" Vinnie began to laugh maniacally and raised the heavy hammer.     

     "This had better work," Summer thought as she took a deep breath, closed 

her fists, and prepared to flex.    She glimpsed as her jealous boyfriend 

swung the large hammer in the air. Then, with all her might, Summer flexed, 

and two huge biceps appeared with what looked to be a row of cannons, 

stretching back as far as the eye can see, in each - fuses lit. As the volley 

of cannons fired from both arms, you could see the bulges moving toward 

Summer's chest. After the final set of volleys, Summer grinned as she watched 

her pectorals grow, popping the buttons, changing her exposed chest muscles 

into two iron girders. 

    Vinnie came down with all his strength... "KLAAAAAAAANG!!!!" The loud 

sound of the hammer could be heard at least two miles away. "D-d-dis ain't 

happenenenenin'!" Vinnie said as he vibrated away. 

    Summer started helping Popeye up, talking to him as she wiped him off.    

    Vinnie collected himself and was madder than all hell. "AAAARRRGGGHH!" he 

screamed as he flexed his extremely large muscles. Then, grabbing a pipe 

wrench, he ran over to the spinach-enhanced, well-endowed woman and clubbed 

her in the head.

    Summer stopped straightening out the sailor's uniform and turned, 

scowling at Vinnie.  Vinnie, on the other hand, stared agape at his pipe 

wrench, now bent 90 degrees.     

    "WHAM!" Summer uppercut a shocked Vinnie, launching him into the 

building's steel skeleton, against a second story ceiling beam. "MONKEY 

around with me, will ya?!"    

    Vinnie managed to grab a vertical beam and slid down, collapsing and 

moaning, Summer ran over to him and picked him up. "Vincent Gandolfini, look 

at you, you're a mess," she said, dusting him off. "You know I always admired 

your big muscles," she said as she traced his chiseled arms with her fingers. 

"Don't you admire mine?" and she flexed her chest. Vinnie looked down at his 

girl's pumping chest, each slab a giant piston pumping in sync with the 

other. Vinnie smiled. Summer smiled back and asked, "Are you sure you're 

okay?"     

        Vinnie smiled and nodded, "Uh-huh."     

    Summer looked at Vinnie and pushed him back. Then, in a loud voice, 

Summer said,  "That's all I needs to know!" Summer prepared him for the 

finishing move. She threw out her chest,  pecs pumping independently of each 

other, and put out her left arm, grunting as she raised her muscular forearm 

slowly, causing a large biceps to rocket skyward. The more she flexed it, the 

more it seemed to want to erupt with power. "Like it, Vinnie?" she grunted as 

she held it. 

        Vinnie shook his head.   

    "Okay, now watch this..." and with that, she flexed her right arm and 

another large but slightly smaller muscle appeared. She then tilted her left 

arm, and the left biceps slid across her shoulder into her right arm. The 

muscles met and morphed into a headless heavily muscled torso. After several 

poses, the muscles collapsed into her hand. Summer smiled and made a fist. 

"Let me innerduce ya to a REAL piledriver!"

        Vinnie was powerless. "Mwhooooaa!"

    Summer piledrove Vinnie right through the steel beam. The force of the 

blow, caused SNAPS and GROANS as the building warped. Vinnie was driven into 

a cement trough below. SPLORT! Vinnie stood up and was encased hardening 

cement.   

    Summer laughed, then posed her physique in front of Popeye and the 

hardening Vinnie. "Okay, which of us is the real hardbody?"    

    All Popeye could do was hold his head and laugh, "Argh argh argh!"