J just stood at the side of the road,watching the whole scene unfold in front of him.The major impact of the hit had caused Sean to fly a few feet into the air,then landing hard again on the cold street.The driver of the car just jumped out of the vehicle,rushing over to Sean and kneeling down.Just when the guy was starting to panick,yelling something in Swedish to the people on the street who were watching,the three other Fivers came running over to see what had happened.They found a horrible sight : Sean was laying face down,blood trickling down his neck and turning his white shirt into a deep red colour.His left leg was in the strangest angle J had ever seen and it seemed like his whole body had turned and twisted with the impact.
�Oh my God J,what the fuck did you do!?�Abs yelled at him while kneeling down next to Sean also and taking his jacket off to stop the bleeding of a deep wound in Sean�s wrist.
�I�I didn�t do anything!�J protested but Scott looked up at the rapper and shot at him�You fucking git!You should have listened to him!�
J felt Nicky tense up next to him at those words and whispered�Maybe you should have.�
�Are you turning against me too now!?�J shouted in frustration and Nicole backed away.
�No need to yell at me like this,J!But you do make me realize one thing with this!�
�And that is..?�J asked carefully.
�That it�re not them who are foolish,but it�s you��
And with those words Nicole turned around and ran off through the watching crowd.J yelled after her but even though he was sure she could hear him,she didn�t come back.
J just stood there at the site of the road,watching an ambulance arriving in the distance with a numb feeling.This evening just couldn�t possibly get any worse�
It was night now and the whole group had gathered in a waiting area of one of Stockholm�s hospitals.J and the other lads had taken cabs to follow the ambulance,not wanting to stay behind in fear and worries.They all knew Sean was injured badly,they had heard the comments from the paramedics.It certainly was looking pretty bad and none of the lads had a clue what to expect when the doctor would finally come out of theater with the latest news.
J was sitting in a dark,quiet corner of the room,as far away as possible from the rest of the lads.He felt like an outsider at that moment,and when he came to think of it,maybe that�s what he was.He had been the one to run away,he hadn�t even tried to call his parents once.He was a bad person and he knew it,and nothing was able to change that fact.He had been acting like a bloody fool in the past few weeks and he realized that he had lost not only his job,but also his four best friends and maybe even his family.
J was too lost in thoughts to notice someone sitting down next to him,right until that person softly asked�Are you alright?�
J looked up startled,right into Rich�s face.His blue eyes had lost their normal happy glow and all that was left was a glare filled with worries and pain.J looked down again and whispered�What did you say?�
�I asked if you�re doing alright.�
�No�I�m not Rich.�
They sat together in silence for a while until Rich stated�It was really harsh to walk away while Sean was trying to tell you something very important.�
J sighed deeply and muttered�I didn�t feel like talking to him Rich.�
�But why?What have we done wrong?We tried to help you cope with Cindy�s death as much as we possibly could and now you just walk off like we�re some kind of disease.�
The rapper looked at his hands at his former bandmate�s words.He WAS avoiding the lads in every possible way and now he came to think of it,he had no clue why he did it.
�Not knowing what to say,huh?You really come across now as a huge arse,do you know that?First disappearing without even telling your parents where you are,then telling Sean off like he�s a little kid and then also causing a scene on the street which ends up in a massive accident!Do you actually realize that maybe now you�ll never get the chance to talk to Sean again!?�
Rich was furious after weeks of worrying,searching and hoping,but still his anger subsided as he looked up at J.He had seen many things in his life but nothing could have prepared him on the tears in his friends eyes that were threatening to spill.Rich sighed deeply and wrapped an arm around J's shoulders.
�I�m sorry mate.I shouldn�t have said that.�Rich whispered gently but J shook his head.
�No,I deserve it.I�I just really can�t bare to lose someone I love again.�
�You know Sean�s a fighter.He won�t give up that easily.�
�I damn well hope you�re right.�
Rich nodded before questioning�Wanna talk to the other lads,too?They�ve been missing you,you know.We all did.�
J smiled a small smile and stood up together with Rich.
Much to J�s surprise Scott and Abs still treated him like a friend,being warm and friendly,even though they too felt J had made some huge mistakes.But there were other thing to worry about at that moment,and they all became very aware of that when a doctor entered the room with a serious look plastered onto his face�
