Title: What Is A Family?

Author: Rebecca

Pairings: none

Ratings: R for bad language

Archiving Permission: here and my site; anyone else please ask

Disclaimer: Nope never happened, never will.

Summary: James is told the obvious when it comes to families. This is an answer to Diana�s challenge ;-)

Another Christmas.

Another year older.

Fuck it.

Ever since, I turned eighteen I would leave town to get away from the holiday. Even when we were on tour, I would go off alone during the Christmas break.

I gave a sigh as I flopped down on the couch in front of the fireplace in my cabin. I bought this place about five years ago and I come here whenever I need a break from everything. I look around and smile a little bit. It is on the small side but I love it here.

The first floor is open with a kitchen in the far left corner and the fireplace in the center of the right wall. Well open except for the bathroom, but it would get a little cold in the tub if there were no walls. The second floor is a loft area half the floor space of the first floor. There are a couple of bedrooms and a small room with my books and one of my acoustic guitars in it. I love to read. I don�t even think the guys know how much I like to read.

I sighed again as I slumped back on my couch and let my eyes slid shut. I could still clearly see the hurt on Lars� face when I told him I wasn�t going to his place for the little get together he had planned.

~

�But James�� started Lars as his eyes started to go a little glassy with tears.

�What part of no don�t you understand,� I had snapped a little harsher than I meant too and Lars� face flashed with anger and sadness. Before I could apologize, he was out the door like a flash, slamming it behind him.

~

I shook the thoughts from my mind as I got up and pulled on an older sweater to keep the cold out. Just then, I heard what sounded like a vehicle coming up the dirt driveway towards the cabin. I got up, went to the window beside the door, and watched a familiar SUV coming to the cabin with a pine tree strapped to its rack. I groaned as I pulled on my winter coat and a pair of boots, and went out on the front porch to wait for them.

Sure enough, when the SUV out hopped my three best friends in the world and not a one of them looked all too happy.

�Hey guys�� I started only to be cut off by a very pissed off Kirk.

�Don�t �hey guys� us you fucking cunt,� he yelled as he stormed up the path to the steps with Jason and Lars behind him. It was all I could do not to go back inside and slam the door in his face. But my consular told me that I had to stop doing stuff like that because it would just make things worse not just for me but everyone else. So I stood there and let Kirk get in my face. �How the hell could you just up and leave like that?�

�Kirk,� I said in a soft voice.

�What the fuck is wrong with you?�

�Kirk.�

�Why the fuck do you always have to up and leave at Christmas?�

�Kirk are you going to let me answer or are you just going to stand there all day and scream at me,� I asked sharply. He opened his mouth and the clamped it shut again, so I took it as my cue to talk. �You have known me for most of my life so it should not shock you that I leave at Christmas, I always have and I always will. And there is nothing wrong with me,� I added in a harsh whisper.

�It�s not that James,� said Jason as he toed the bottom step with a boot, �We just don�t understand why you don�t like Christmas.�

�This coming from Mr. �Anti-Halloween�,� I asked with a cocked eyebrow. �You three have holidays that you don�t like, so why should I be any different.�

�Because this is when family is suppose to get together,� answered Lars as he looked up to my face. I couldn�t read his face very well because of the sunglasses he was wearing but I knew he was upset by the slight hitch in his voice.

�I know that Lars, but you guys have families to go and see during the holidays, I don�t.�

Lars cocked his head to one side and said in a soft voice, �But James, *you* are our family too.�

THE END

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