Wheeler Saves the Day

       Dr. Pollution laughed evilly. She told her sidekick, Registered Nurse Pollution, "My plan is working perfectly. Soon, the whole world will be covered with smog."
        Timidly, R. N. Pollution said, "Er...why would you want to do that? I mean, you know how pollution makes your asthma act up..."
        Dr. Pollution pondered that for a minute and then said sarcastically, "You know, you're right. Maybe I should just give up my life's work and wander around the country planting trees! Honestly, sometimes I don't know why I bother with you..."
        "It was just a thought, there's no need for sarcasm," said a meek R. N. Pollution. Dr. Pollution rolled her eyes and messed with a dial on a very expensive looking machine. R. N. Pollution, trying to make amends, asked, "What does that do?"
        "Huh? Oh nothing. Most of these dials and buttons are just decoration, " replied Dr. Pollution.

Meanwhile, on Hope Island...

        "Eco-alert, Planeteers!" said Gaia.
        "What's wrong?" asked Kwame.
        "Dr. Pollution is trying to cover the world with smog," replied Gaia.
        "Again?" whined Gi.
        "Yes, again," said a testy Gaia.
        "Can't we just call Captain Planet?" asked Wheeler. Gaia paused.
        "Um...no. No, you can't," she said.
        "Why not?" asked Ma-Ti. "We're all here, and we all have our rings."
        Looking ticked off, Gaia said, "If you call Captain Planet at the first sign of trouble, there's no way we can stretch it out to half an hour! Anyway, you should be prepared for dealing with psychopathic villains without Captain Planet. This will be good practice. Now, go!"
        Trying not to make Gaia even more pissed off, Linka asked, "Go where?"
        "Do I have to tell you everything?" whined Gaia. Looking at the expressions on their faces, she quickly said," Um...never mind. Dr. Pollution is in her pollution lab in L.A.
        "Of course! Where better for an evil, pollution-loving scientist?" exclaimed Gi.
        "That's the spirit, Planeteers! Now go save the earth, and et cetera," said Gaia.
        Wheeler and Gi shouted, "Shotgun!" simultaneously. They glared at each other, and Gi's hair suddenly burst into flames. However, while they were busy fighting, Linka took the pilot seat, and Ma-Ti got shotgun. A sulky (and singed) Gi climbed in the back, along with Wheeler.
        "Serves you two right," said Ma-Ti.
        "At least I--" Wheeler started to say. Fortunately, he was cut off by Kwame.
        "Don't say it, Wheeler. Remember what happened the last time you mocked his powers?"
        "Oh yeah. Thanks, man," replied Wheeler. Ma-Ti sulked and pet his monkey.
        "Okay, we're here!" announced Linka.
        "That was fast," said Kwame.
        "Solar power makes us go faster. Now stop asking questions, and let's go," said a narrow-eyed Linka. Immediately upon exiting the Geo-Cruiser, all the Planeteers except Wheeler began coughing violently.
        "We're too late!" cried Gi. "Dr. Pollution must have already released her pollution thingy!"
        Wheeler looked at them like they were nuts and said, "Are you kidding? This is L.A.; it's always like this!"
        Unfortunately, the smog in downtown L.A. was too much for the more wholesome Planeteers to take. Gasping for air, they crawled back to the Geo-Cruiser. It looked as if it would be up to the New York City native, Wheeler, to save the day. He muttered a few inappropriate words to himself and started off to find Dr. Pollution's lab. Fortunately, all cartoon supervillains have incredibly poor senses of camoflauge, and he found it almost immediately.
        "Hey, what are you doing here?" asked R. N. Pollution. Fortunately, since the other pansy Planeteers weren't around, Wheeler was able to do what he always wanted to do, and in a few moments, R. N. Pollution was a smoking pile of ash.
        "All right!" said Wheeler to himself. "I should definitely do that more often."
        "You stupid kid! Get out of here!" shouted Dr. Pollution. Soon, she too was burnt to a crisp. Wheeler glanced at the complicated smog machine and decided to just set it on fire too. Smiling happily, he made his way back to the Geo-Cruiser.
        "Wheeler! How did you survive the smog?" asked a concerned Linka.
        Wheeler replied, "I grew up in New York, remember?"
        "Oh, yeah. Well, did you stop Dr. Pollution? she asked.
        "Yup! Now let's get back to Hope Island. The smog is starting to make me dizzy."
        Ma-Ti asked, "Wheeler, how did you defeat Dr. Pollution all by yourself?" Wheeler coughed and mumbled something.
        Linka looked worried and said, "We can ask him later, he's been through a lot today." Wheeler looked happy and tried to lean on Linka's shoulder, but she bitchslapped him and pushed him to the back seat. "His timing sucks," she thought to herself. "He smells like smog. And anyway, I'm trying to pilot this thing. It's not as easy as it looks, doesn't he know that? And it's not just because I'm blond!"
        "Damn," thought Wheeler. "Oh well, it was worth a try."
        Meanwhile, Ma-Ti thought, "That slut! He flirts with me all the time, and now he's dropping me for that commie ditz?" At this point, Linka landed them all on Hope Island, which was good, because Ma-Ti was glaring at Wheeler and looking ominously at his monkey. But he pushed those thoughts out of his head, and they all sat down to a nice meal of veggieburgers and mango chutney.

The end.