SNATCH
Guy Rictchie is back in a movie that's more Tarantino than Tarantino.
By Sam Tannous

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What do you get when you mix Brad Pitt, Benicio Del Toro, an ex-soccer player who had a reputation for being the dirtiest player in the game, a dog that swallowed a squeak toy, an 84 karat diamond, and Madonna's husband?

Answering that question is not as easy as writing it, but I'll try.

Benicio Del Toro is a Hasidic Jew who steals an 84-karat diamond the size of a golf ball from some Russians and hightails it to London to lay low. Thing is, one of the guys who bankrolled the heist wants the diamond to himself, so he has a Russian named Boris the Blade hire these other guys to steal the diamond.

Meanwhile, this boxing promoter named Turkish loses his fighter before the biggest fight of his life. Enter Brad Pitt as One-Punch Mickey, who happens to be the guy who beat the snot out of Turkish's fighter. Mickey agrees to fight instead, but forgets a very important part of the fight: he was being paid to lose. So one punch later and Mickey's the winner. Turkish, meanwhile, is seeing visions of being eaten by pigs.

That may require some explaining.

You see, Turkish made the deal with a guy named Brick Top. Guys with names like Brick Top usually have ways of making sure that things go their way. Brick Top has pigs that he's weaned on human flesh. Apparently, a pig will eat anything you put in front of it. I can attest that some humans I've called pigs do eat anything put in front of them. I am unsure of the actual mammal though. However, after seeing it in two movies, this and Hannibal, I'm willing to believe that a pig could eat a man. After all, man eats pig, so why not the other way around? Besides, if it's in a movie, it's got to be real.

But I digress.

Meanwhile, the guys who were supposed to steal the diamond from Del Toro end up robbing Brick Top's betting establishment by accident. This leads to Brick Top finding out about the diamond. Del Toro, though, has gone missing, and with him, the diamond. Enter Bullet-Toothed Tony, who is hired to find Del Toro by Del Toro's other partner who bankrolled the heist, Denis Farina.

Boris the Blade, Bullet-Toothed Tony, and Brick Top all search for a huge diamond, One-Punch Mickey and Turkish are trying to figure out how not to become pig food for Brick Top's menagerie.

And did I mention that Madonna's husband, Guy Ritchie, who wrote and directed the wonderful Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels wrote and directed this movie as well? If you saw his first movie then you know that he is a better Quentin Tarantino than Tarantino is. Check out this movie; it's a guaranteed fun time.