To start off, the person on the banner is not me (ha! I wish). It's V�ronique Cloutier. I think she's the cutest thing in the world and the picture just fit the topic... ranting and raving... cheerleaders? Get it?

Okay, basic description of what this column is about... the site is about hotties. Well, here I 'rant, rave, and review' the latest things that have hotties in them. I may do a movie review that has a handsome actor in it and most likely spoil the ending. Or I could possibly do a quick critique of a sports game. Or maybe a long comparison of music albums. Etc, etc, etc.

*ahem* Where to begin...

Today's Date: Friday, July 19th, 2002

Great movie. Ewan McGregor *faints*... *regains conciousness* Oh yes, the movie.

20th Century Fox
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, John Leguizamo...
Director: Baz Lurhmann
Rating: PG-13

The bitch dies, but still gets top billing over Ewan? *rolls eyes* dumb dumb dumb. Nicole Kidman gets on my nerves this entire movie. She barks like a dog for a majority of the beginning. Her hair is about 300 times darker than her pale skin. blah blah blah. On to the review...

The movie is set in Paris during the 1890s. And realize... people in France, *gasps* speak... FRENCH! C'est vrai!!! But of course, why put an effort to say anything in French other than "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" which half of the people, I'm sure, didn't even know the meaning of. I'm not asking for the entire movie to be in 100% French with subtitles, but at least have the people speak in accents and have some French. I haven't seen the Bourne Identity yet, but I know when he's in France, he's speaking French! *sighs* C'est la vie. (And not like that crappy B*witched song)

Don't get me wrong, criticism doesn't not always mean it's bad. I love this movie a lot... so don't let my criticism confuse you.

The whole movie revolves around a young writer who goes to Paris to jump start his career and eventually falls in love with a slut (well, she is). Christian, played by Ewan McGregor, hopes to find fortune in the bohemian world of Montmartre, Paris. Sounds like finding a needle in a hay stack, doesn't it? Yeah, good idea... that's like going to "Slut Ville" to start a job in the nunnery. In fact, he doesn't find fortune... instead, he finds hoes aka "The Diamond Dogs" (and they sure do look like dogs) of Moulin Rouge. I was actually surprised by this because "Moulin Rouge" in French means "Red Mill", and on top of the entrance to the Moulin Rouge is a red mill. Anyway...

The first night in his new home, his new neighbors find Christian as a godsend when he cures them of the writer's block in their play "Spectacular, Spectacular". He becomes the main writer of the play from that point on. His new friends insist on taking him to Le Moulin Rouge to convince the main whore of the place, Satine, Kidman's character, that he's a famous English writer in order to get her involved in the play.

Christian meets Satine and the two eventually fall in love, but the "evil" and insanely jealous Duke, played by Richard Roxburgh, tries to stop them. The Duke is not evil enough to really be a threat. Christian could probably kick his butt and split him in two. But the Duke is really just a poon. He tries to strike fear into the hearts of the two... and it works. I guess out of pity, but it works. Not only that, but the Duke is a dumbass. He doesn't see that Christian and Satine are in love until one of the whores tells him. *rolls eyes* Dummy.

BTW, Ewan McGregor has such an incredible voice. You'll find it hard not to faint when you hear him sing about how much he loves you... err... Satine.

Satine realizes that she loves Christian and cannot pretend with others anymore. Christian suggests that they run away together, which she agrees with until she finds out that she's dying of consumption and that the Duke plans to have Christian killed on the opening night of the play. Because of this she has to convince Christian that she doesn't love him in order to save him. Christian is miserable... poor baby, I'll take care of you. :o(

Opening night comes, Christian sells his type writer to "pay for his whore". And the entire time the Duke's henchman is trying to kill him, because the Duke is too big of a wussy to do it himself. He throws the money at her feet on stage and says "thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love". Satine is horribly guilty that Christian is walking away from her after saying this. Leguizamo's character, Toulouse (one of the bohemians), says the words "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return", which stops Christian in his path. She starts off singing the "Lover's Secret Song" which Christian later joins in and they're all happy and hunky-dory. The Duke defeated as he walks away whining and love conquers all... until... the curtain falls and Satine gets another one of her coughing storms. Well, this time she's not going to be able to recover. Christian holds her in his arms and the two say how much they love each other. Then, Satine dies.

The movie is really incredible, yet there are a few scenes that should be pointed out. They have music from this era incorporated into that time. Very interesting, I admit.

But the STUPIDEST scene is when Harold Zidler, the owner of Moulin Rouge, who is played by Jim Broadbent, is dancing around with The Duke singing Madonna's "Like A Virgin". Very very bizarre.

My FAVORITE scene is when Satine and the Duke are in his tower planning to get on with "the horizontal mambo", and Christian waits around for her at the Moulin Rouge saying how he's jealous of the Duke being all over "his woman". A few of the dancers are dancing to Rod Stewart's "Roxanne" while in the background Christian is singing another song, which we have still not yet determined the name of. But it's a really nice combination and a beautiful song.

That's all chicas. I'll be back another time to rant, rave, and review many other movies, bands, and sporting events. Until then, I'm out.