Hello, my name is funny Jenkins and THIS IS A PICTURE OF SOME SPECIAL WAX!!!! Now let's us all take a gander at some recipes that I like to make up during the summertime season!!! BEGIN READING, YOU SWINE!!!

KETCHUP SURPRISE

First, get several dozen pounds of ketchup. ( tomato paste Will NOT work!!!) Pour it all into a large pot. (No, not marijuana, you doorknob!!! The other kind! Put down the friggin' weed and pay attention!) Next, go back out and purchase several tons of Giblet Gravy and Mayonnaise. Mix 'em up in a gravy boat 'till you've formed a fine gray/cream colored sludge, and pour into ketchup. Add moldy bread crumbs.

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Gravy Boat

If all went well you should be lookin' like this:

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Hallucination surprise

First, get some Mushrooms from out-doors. I call 'em "Chris-heads", 'cuz a guy I know has a mushroom-shaped head. But screw him. Let's get back to our recipe, shall we not? Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Now, chop them little suckers up into little bits and toss 'em into a vat-o-sauce. MIX WITH GRAVY AND MICROWAVE FOR 10 MINUTES ON HIGH!!! Let it cool for about 3 minutes, and mix in any type of paste or secretion you can get your grubby little disease-transporters on.

Now is the time for FUN. Mix lemon juice in the goo and stir for half an hour. Now put it in the freezer for several weeks, or until it has a thick skin on it, whichever comes first, and ENJOY!!!!!

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AFTERMATH

There are several possible side effects that could... occur.... from consuming these food stuffs. Here are a few:

HALLUCINATIONS

As specified in the instructions for "Hallucination Surprise", you will more than likely have mad fantasies about various things if you consume the number of mushrooms in the recipe. You might also have some warped perspective visions by consuming "Ketchup Surprise"; both recipes are fairly toxic.

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THAT IS ALL JERKYS!!! NOW GET OUTTA HERE, YA MAKE ME SICK!!!

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