Dedicated to serving melanin-deficient folk like you since 2005.
:: email :: Facebook ::
Room phone (770)9390887
Cell phone (770)6398035
Most of you reading this site know me. Please do not show me any criticism for my taste or judgments. I know I'm a dumb honkey, telling me would just be redundant.
Beatport For all your Neo-euro ump chick dance music needs, this is the one-stop shop.
Not enough? Also try Audiojelly , Above the Sky Digital , and DJDownload.
Anjunabeats The best trance record label out there at the moment, at least in my humble opinion.
The John Nicholson Column Soccer writer, you don't really need to know what he's talkin about. Hilarious stuff
about white people, Americans, and crazy Northern Londoners.
Diamondback Maryland's School Newspaper. Pretty butt.
The Bump List and Mad Brown Website For a different point of view, check these out. Bump list = truth.
CNN.com and BBC News GO READ SOME NEWS, HONKEY!
SLAM Online Links For news about how much the Hawks really suck.
The White Baller of the Day
(NEW MIKE DUNLEAVY PIC!!!)
Oh, and Fred is a top-rate citizen too. He still plans on running his basketball camp for kids later on this summer.
Andrey Kirilenko
Dirk Nowitzki
Peja Stojakovic Children's Foundation
DROBNJAK'S MANJAKS
I've seen a lot of movies recently so here are some short bits about each one...
The Matador
Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear
Dis movie was quite entertaining. Pierce Brosnan is an underrated actor, and I don't usually like Greg Kinnear, but he plays a lame businessman honkey pretty well. Lots of killing (but not a lot of gore) and plenty of cock jokes keep this movie refreshingly sophomoric. Grade: B+
Underworld: Evolution
Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, a buncha other guys from other movies you probably recognize
Beugh dis movie was str8 meaty. Too much liquid. It was like watchin David Banners "Play" video. Grade: C
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Some random kids
Good movie, a little short (it seemed) for the whole story. Could've been like the PBS miniseries awhile back, but they just couldnt fit it all in. Ah well. Grade: B
Munich
Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Moritz Bleibtreu, others
Mad thought provoking. Go see dis for some education about some history and foreign culture. But bump Spielberg for draggin out another ending. Grade: A-
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Daniel Radcliffe, some other random people.
Saight. Grade: B
This new feature will try to show what makes a great trance tune, from beginning to end. In other words, I will try to prove that all trance songs DON'T sound the same!
Sunny Lax - PUMA/Cassiopeia
This man is only 17 and he's already producing fantastic music. Here's a shout to all you child prodigies out there, but damn stop makin me feel jealous for havin no musical talent.
PUMA/Cassiopeia is the latest release from UK mega trance label Anjunabeats. PUMA is your standard peak-time trancer, but Sunny Lax has a talent for creating sound that few can match, and he can't even buy porn yet!
In PUMA, the bass kick is strong yet subtle. Mr. Lax layers effect on effect to create a seamless blend of sounds. The uplifting drive of the track is not created by the percussion or the bassline but the swirling pads and effects. The melody is simple but again the layering of lush pads with a simple distorted main melody creates a wonderful trance sound.
Cassiopeia is the 2nd track on this single, and I would argue that I like this track even better then the enormously popular PUMA (reached #39 in UK dance charts this week, which is saying something since most of the stuff on there is pure horsesh**). Sunny Lax lists Vangelis and Mike Oldfield among his influences and it shows, with a very atmospheric feel to this track. Wonderful driving bass supporting ambient pads drives the track until the main pads fill the breakdown. His atmospheric pads are some of the best I've heard in terms of both sound and flow (they sound extremely fluid), and I've heard a lot. The melody is a simple high-pitched synth line followed again by some interesting distorted pads. Amazing stuff.
Yes, it's everybody's favorite/most hated time of year. All of you with girlfriends/boyfriends will be getting some special love, while those without any significant other will be angry, lonely, and planning the deaths of all those betrothed. I will use the rest of this space to advertise myself since I will undoubtedly be doing absolutely nothing on Valentine's day. If anybody wants to hang out or anything, let me know.
MAD ALBUM REVIEW IN DA HOUSE
Klaus Schulze - In Blue (2005 Reprint) Yes, that Klaus Schulze. Drummer for Ash Ra Tempel? Lead man for legendary synth band Tangerine Dream? Ringin a bell? Bump you. Schulze writes epic songs, free-flowing, often improvised classically inspired compositions using loads of synths and samples. Sometimes gets a couple instrumentalists to jam over his new age melodies. His sound is along the lines of earlier Vangelis work except a tad more upbeat and little less complex, making up ground with atmosphere, continuity, and use of chorus synths. A good album for those of you who actually care. Honkeymeter: 8/10
Pendulum - Hold Your Colour (2005) I bought this album after hearing a song I downloaded free of charge from the lovely people at Beatport (see the link at the top). I admit that Drum and Bass is my second favorite genre of electronic music behind trance, and Pendulum is one of the best DnB acts going. Frontman Rob Shine combines DnB rhythm with hip hop, reggae, jazz, and trance to create a very interesting (and fun to listen to) brand of music. Good to hear after all that trance starts to get monotonous, but I always gotta come back to it. Tracks Slam, Girl in the Fire, and Sounds of Life are the pick of the album. Honkeymeter: 9/10
LTJ Bukem - Journey Inwards (2001) Quickly becoming one of my favorite artists period. Actually a collection of artists, LTJ Bukem is a UK DnB act that leans heavily towards jazz riffs and instrumentals. Very chill and easy to listen to, but also funky wit da rhythms. Some great sounding flutes, string bass, sax, and pianos add strongly to the laid-back DnB beats. A great album for chillin or education some ignorant honkeys about good music. Go buy it now! Honkeymeter: 10/10
Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Welcome to the Pleasuredome (1984) One of the most controversial albums of the 80s, Welcome to the Pleasuredome remains one of pop music's great works. Only band ever to have their first three singles all hit #1. If you're not familiar with their work, just......RELAX....DON'T DO IT....WHEN YOU WANNA GO TO IT etc. Spoke out for gay rights, anti-war, peace and love. Two Tribes and Power of Love were the two other no. 1 hits. Other notable songs include covers of War, Born to Run, and San Jose, as well as the classic Black Night White Light. Band tanked after becoming icons, remains a mystery to this day. Go buy this for a piece of history, you slob. Honkeymeter: 10/10
Philip Glass - Orion (2005) Yes, from the classical American composer that brought you the soundtrack to Koyaanisqatsi, it's Philip Glass! Damn once again somebody you've never heard of. Sawl good, that's why you're here! To get educated! Philip Glass joins the ranks of other avant-garde composers with this effort, a blend of international styles and instrumentalists (sitar, Celtic fiddle, Didgeridoo, etc. etc.) as an effort of musical diplomacy. The effort is good, the didgeridoo song is particularly good and the Celtic fiddle song is bouncy and wonderfully performed, but the album lacks any real flow. Still worth getting if you like chill, meditative music. Go get his work Metamorphosis 2, honkey. Honkeymeter: 7/10
Zen is great because it doesnt claim to be a religion but it can teach you how to make yourself a better person through meditation. I hope one day I will be able to practice this art for myself, I plan to start readin up on it pretty soon.I already am planning on building a little mini Zen fountain. One day I hope to meditate like Jean Claude van Damme in Bloodsport (that hurts me just lookin at it. You might wanna have kids someday!) Time to chill and let all dat stress wash away.
- Steven Spangler
