| FUTURAMA CUTS - SEASON 2 1: I SECOND THAT EMOTION - C4 PREMIERE 24.07.01, 18:00 THE ONE WHERE Bender flushes Nibbler down the toilet because he's jealous of his popularity with the others, so the Professor fits a device to Bender that makes him feel all the same emotions as Leela. Then PX go underground to the New York sewers, trying to find Nibbler, and meet mutants. DEFINITE CUTS POSSIBLE CUTS --------------------------------- Bender�s angry at Nibbler � Leela asks him to pet him and make up: BENDER I�ll pet him [Nibbler] � I�ll pet him with both hands! (Nibbler�s fangs grab onto Bender�s rear end) Ow, my ass! Get off! Get off! (Nibbler lets go) --------------------------------- LEELA Poor baby, chipped a fang. (kisses and pets Nibbler as she walks away) BENDER Hey, I got a busted ass here, I don�t see anyone kissing it! ZOIDBERG All right, I�m coming! --------------------------------- At the Vet�s: BENDER What�s that you say there Doctor? You�re going to have to put him [Nibbler] down? VET (confused) No. What? But I� BENDER Terrible shame, that. Shall I do the honours? (Bender picks up a �goose laxative� bottle and smashes it � Leela breaks his arm off and forces him to drop the smashed bottle) BENDER You about done? LEELA Next time, I�m keeping it! (tosses arm back to Bender) --------------------------------- At Nibbler�s birthday party: BENDER There, this'll teach those filthy bastards who's lovable. Now all I have to do is spell-check it ... [Credit to Peel's Teral] --------------------------------- Later, PX are talking about mutants in the sewers: PROFESSOR Oh, don�t be so sure. Many scientists believe humans really could mutate down there, due to exposure to toxic waste, radioactive runoff and good old American faeces! FRY (hand on heart) God bless America! --------------------------------- In the mutants� town: 3-ARMED MUTANT Over here is our aquarium� this is our library� BENDER (looking at books) Nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand. [She's a Russian-American author] --------------------------------- Talking about El Chupanibr�: DUANE (MUTANT) If the legend is true, our only hope is to offer him a snackrifice! 3-ARMED Yes. An unspoiled virgin! LEELA I volunteer! WOMAN MUTANT Nice try Leela, but we�ve all seen Zap Brannigan�s web page! BENDER (laughs, then the empathy chip kicks in and makes him sad like Leela) Aw, I made myself feel bad. 3-ARMED She�ll have to do. Chain her to the post! (Leela is chained to the post) And rip her shirt a little. (Duane rips her shirt a little) Behold! When El Chupanibr� comes for the �virgin�, he will be snared by this rope trap. --------------------------------- When Nibbler is in danger from El Chupanibr�: BENDER Listen Leela, I�m an expert at not caring. The secret is to stop giving a rat�s ass about anyone else, and start thinking of the things that you want, that you deserve, that the world owes you! --------------------------------- So Leela�s not caring transmits to Bender, and he starts fighting El Chupanibr�: LEELA You know what else I could use? A weekend at one of those fancy spas. And a Toblerone! Taken out because it�s advertising, I presume, despite the fact that they say brand names all the time! Plus, in maths I was always taught that a triangular prism is "Toblerone-shaped", which is 'advertising' too. |
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