2ND AUGUST, 2003: ALTERNATE REALITY
Dreams, dreams, dreams. I wake several times a night following REM sleep, then I consider my dream. If it is of interest I commit it to memory and drift back off. The later it is the harder it is too return to sleep. However last night was different. Instead of waking once an hour, as is per usual, dreams awoke me every half hour to 45 minutes. There was nothing particularly interesting about any of the dreams except for the one theme that linked them all together. What was that theme? Everyone hated me. I don�t understand it. I know my diary is title �No One Likes Me� (a little self indulgent if you ask me) but it doesn�t mean that everyone hates me. In my dreams, everyone does. It is starting to get a little annoying and depressing!
I don�t know how many years it has been that I have been waking up this way. Lately the part where I try to return to the arms of glorious sleep it is getting more difficult. This morning I awoke at 0536hr, and could not go back to sleep. I guess this would not be a horrendous thing if I were not so darn lazy and got my fat arse out of bed to do something. I think that I shall. How does that sound? A resolution to get my fat arse out of bed when there is not reason to do anything. At 0500hr I can turn on the lamp and read a book. Imagine how much reading that I would get done then! I could even do some home work. Really, I may actually do some work. I will follow this resolution. And at 0630hr I can do the Oz Style Aerobics that are on television. It sounds like a great idea. I can get so much more done and still stay under my warm, warm, warm blanket!
Do you know what I am craving right now. A tuna sandwich. I have never, ever, NEVER eaten a tuna sandwich. So why I want one, I do not know. Perhaps I should go make myself one! Cheers.

357 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1132HR. COMMENT.

IGNORING ALL SYMPTOMS
If I die or am diagnosed with some brutal disease soon it will be due to inability to take symptoms seriously from years of overt paranoia. I really should go to the doctor because I have several symptoms of ovarian cancer- back pain, abdominal cramping and increased flatulence. However I will not go yet as the pain is where it took the longest to heal after the c-section, the back pain may just be to do with one of the newer exercises added into my gym routine, and the flatulence, though definitely still hazardous to the environment, seems to have settles a little. I will give it a week and see if the back pain goes. There is also another reason, diagnosed at a late stage, which is when symptoms show, there is little chance of even a five year survival, like when it is diagnosed earlier on. I don�t think it is curable. Why would I want to know that I have a terminal illness? I�m still a little on the paranoid side, so instead of freaking I am going to wait and see. Deep breaths, visualize animals with each breath. Calm, serenity.

194 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1549HR. COMMENT.

IMPOSTER
I just finished watching Impostor, starring Gary Sinise and a bit part for the delectable Gary Dourdan as well as master of all film Vincent D�Onofrio. It was based on the short story by Philip K. Dick, which I am sad to say I have never read, so I am basing it soley as a film. As a regular futuristic sci-fi film, it does a fine job. As per usual and my insane ability to predict the ending of most films (OMG NO!, Practical Magic is on TV tonight! HELP ME! Gee, I�ll just have to watch it. Sigh�) however this has a nice little twist that could be a surprise if you are not me. Can someone please release a film that I can�t guess then end to? It has been a few years now, Fight Club being the last one that I remember! Back to this film. It is rather pretty, and clever for a book written in the 1950�s, but I am sick of the flying cars scenario (we all know that if they were invented humans wouldn�t be able to use them without lines guiding the way. Not to mention the lack of privacy when you could just fly over someone�s backyard). Admittedly, the twist seems to drag questions from some people as to the how and why, and essentially it is a pretty good sci-fi for this day and age. Good looking cast, decent story line, �watchable�. Now I must read the book! Blade Runner , Total Recall and Minority Report were also based on Philip K. Dick�s book, though Total Recall had the more amusing title of We Will Remember It For You Wholesale. HA! I like that.

289 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1852HR. COMMENT.