The year is 2089AD (already you can tell how good it is). In Russia, the evil Grand Master Meio has begun his insane plot to take over the universe. A lone figure drops from a stealth glider into Meio's base (none of this pussying around, straight in there). He is Hiryu, Super A-Class Strider. His mission is to defeat the Grand Master and put an end to his plotting once and for all.
Strider can run, jump, perform acrobatics, and climb walls and overhangs. He wields a plasma sword, called a Cypher, and fights his way through five levels of robots, machines, guards, and mid-level and end-level bosses (the mid-level bosses are just in case you start to get cocky).
This game rules so hard. It shits over all other games. Just look at the images. Don't you regret pissing about with your Barbies and Action Man shit now? I bet you do. Serves you right for being an idiot.
Anyway, there's only one lowpoint in the whole game. It's not so much a lowpoint as a tiny and insignificant flaw: in one level, you have to fight wolves. Now, I'm not some animal-loving vegetarian, but wolves are incredible. One of the only animals not worth eating. Maybe the creators of Strider didn't give enough thought to the fact that they were pitting one good beast against an other, or maybe they were high. Either way, it doesn't matter, because the majority of games don't even have wolves, so again Strider wins.
Here are some quotes that Strider has uttered in his time. If only more people lived their lives by this dude's words, and not that Jesus guy...
'Selfish ambition is the root of the world's pain.'
'Devote yourself, but do not lose who you are.'
'Those who seek the truth are the world's saviours.'
'A false life is equal to death...be your true self.'
'It doesn't pay to betray your principles.'
'Who can see the future? Those who create it...'
'Life or death awaits...a Strider is never certain.'
The man tells it like it is. Why aren't more people living their lives by the Strider school of thought? I bet this guy listens to heavy metal, eats steaks, makes prank calls, and masturbates as and when he likes, regardless of company. He is a legend. Why are you still reading this? You should be out there buying the game. Good luck doing that, though, it was released in the late eighties. As were most of the world's best video games.
If only Strider was around nowadays, the world would be in a considerably better state. Strider Hiryu wouldn't tolerate any of this George W Bush shit, he'd bust into the White House and beat the idiot into submission. War? He'd declare it finished, and so it would be. Poverty? He'd steal from a bunch of rich assholes and share the money among the poor. Commercialised music? Strider would hunt down the bastards responsible and make them eat horseshit. Everything this guy said would be held as law. Effectively, he'd be king of the world.
Still not convinced? Then you are a moron, and ought to go play with sharp knives, and possibly some matches too. But if I can't convince you, then perhaps the game itself will. Enjoy.
