Chapter 5: The Difficult Things
“This is great.”
“I told ya!”
“I can’t believe we didn’t do this years ago…” Sam lazily reeled in her fishing line, watching the bait skim across the surface of the water.
Jack chuckled. “Yes…well…lets not dwell.”
“Sir…” Sam turned to look at him. “There aren’t any fish in this pond, are there?”
“Nope, and that’s the beauty of it, Carter.” Jack leaned back in his chair, resting his feet on the cooler. He shot Sam a sideways glance from under the brim of his hat. “Pete’s certainly a very trusting guy.”
Sam frowned. “Excuse me?”
“He didn’t hesitate to let you come up here with us three…guys…”
“First of all, he knows that I’ve been spending time with you guys for the past seven years,” Sam growled hotly. “Secondly, he’s not my husband yet, so he can’t tell me who I spend my weekends with.”
“Ooh, harsh, Carter, very harsh! Do I detect a tone of conflict?”
Sam’s expression darkened, and she stared out across the water, purposefully ignoring Jack.
The general seemed to realize that he’d touched a nerve and his expression softened. “Carter, what’s wrong?”
“I just…” Sam’s voice trailed off and she shrugged. She slowly set the fishing pole down and looked up at the sky for a moment, then turned to Jack. “I can’t marry him…at least…not unless you tell me that there’s no reason for me not to.”
“Carter…Sam…” Jack felt like his heart was being whirled around in a blender. “Don’t let me tell you how to live your life.”
“You know what? My dad told me to follow my heart…and right now it’s not exactly leading me to Pete.” Sam shook her head. “I’m not asking you to tell me how to live my life, I just want an answer.”
“What do you want me to say, Carter?” Jack sounded annoyed; deep down he knew he wasn’t mad at Sam, he was mad at himself for being such an idiot. “Huh? What do you want to hear from me?”
“The truth, for once, the blatant truth,” Sam was forcing herself to remain calm and not give in to the emotions swirling inside her. “We’ve been tap dancing around each other for the past seven years and you know it! Jack, just tell me…please…”
Jack was having trouble breathing. It seemed that a thick lump of the oatmeal he’d had for breakfast was lodged somewhere behind his Adam’s apple. “Carter…I care about you…a lot…” That obviously wasn’t what she was looking for. Her blue eyes, staring up at him so pleadingly, were a deeper shade then the sky above and their gaze seemed to go right through him. His voice was quiet when he spoke, yet still full of emotion. “Ok…I love you. I always have.” He paused for emphasis. “You know that. But, for cryin’ out loud, what business does a guy like me have loving a girl like you?”
“What?” Sam stared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Look at us!”
“So?”
“Sam…” Jack pulled his baseball cap off and ran a hand through his hair. “Pete’s a great guy. He’s handsome, intelligent, he’s your age, he probably has better knees then I do-”
“I don’t love him.”
That was all he needed to hear.
“Sam! Jack! Foods ready!”
Goddamnit, Danny, couldn’t that wait?!
Sam and Jack exchanged a meaningful look before standing up. Jack looked up towards the cabin. Daniel had retreated back inside, giving them a precious moment alone. Jack reached out, lightly grabbing Sam’s arm.
“Sam.”
She looked up at him.
“I meant what I said.”
Her eyebrows rose. “About what?”
“That I love you,” Jack put one calloused hand to her soft cheek, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. “And if this is what you really want…”
“It is.” Sam brought her hand up to cover his, a faint, almost invisible smile playing over her lips.
“Then I swear I will do whatever it takes, whatever you want.”
“I’ll be at your side,” Sam promised. She smiled at Jack then turned her face to his palm, nuzzling it lightly.
Jack couldn’t help but grin. “C’mere.” He pulled Sam to him, wrapping his arms around her.
“Are you guys coming?!”
Jack groaned good-naturedly, then he and Sam turned and headed towards the cabin.
“Ok, Sam, what’s up? Because you certainly haven’t been yourself lately.” Pete was looking concernedly at her across the table in the small café. Sunlight was spilling in through the window, and Sam seemed more preoccupied by the geometric pattern formed by the light falling through her glass than by the man sitting across from her.
“A lots been happening these past couple days,” she began, fidgeting nervously with her napkin.
“Is there anything I can do?” Pete looked concerned. “Your injuries aren’t still bothering you, are they?”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Sam shook her head. “It’s just…I don’t think I’m ready to get married.”
Pete seemed to think about what she said for a long time, then he nodded. “I understand, it’s too soon for you.” He smiled. “That’s ok, we can wait.”
Oh god…am I that bad at saying what I really mean, or is he just that bad at picking up a hint? Sam watched Pete; watched him watching her with his usual dreamy expression …Or does he just love me that much?
“Pete, I uh…” she glanced at her watch. “I’ve got a meeting I have to be at in twenty minutes, I should go.”
“Will I see you later?”
“I’ll call, I promise.” Sam forced herself to smile as she pulled her jacket on and headed out of the café.
“The Goa’uld Jupiter is from a group of system lords from one of our neighboring galaxies,” Ahmnen explained to Jack and SG-1 “We haven’t gathered much intelligence on them, simply because we do not have the resources. We do know that they are led by a goa’uld who calls himself the God-king Morpheus.”
“Morpheus,” Daniel murmured to no one in particular. “That’s the Greek god of dreams, though he also sometimes appears in Roman mythology…” he frowned slightly. “Jupiter is also a Roman god…this is strange, we’ve never encountered any goa’uld posing as Roman gods before…”
“There is good reason for that,” Ahmnen said, nodding. “From what Jacob has told me of the Romans, they seem more influenced by the Ancients than by the goa’uld. And…from what we have gathered…it’s quite possible that Morpheus’ host is an Ancient…or at least a direct descendant of one.”
“Is that even possible?” Jack asked, raising his eyebrows.
Daniel frowned slightly. “I don’t know…I don’t think an Ancient would allow themselves to be possessed by a goa’uld, but then again I haven’t exactly met any that’re alive…”
“Whatever he is, this Morpheus is powerful, posing even more of a threat than Ra.” Ahmnen’s expression darkened. “And it’s not just because of all the devout followers he commands, it’s because of the actual power that he holds.”
“So what,” Jack asked. “Has he made a threat to us?”
“Jupiter’s mere presence in our galaxy shows that these system lords have at least some interest here and that is enough of a threat.”
“But to contact one of these system lords, to at least have a friendly chat with them, we’d need to dial eight chevrons, wouldn’t we?” Jack said. All eyes turned to him. Sam looked surprised. Teal’c raised an eyebrow. Jack shrugged. “Right? You need the extra one for distance.”
Sam nodded. “That’s right, and if you think we’re going to be needing to travel to the galaxy that these other goa’uld are in, I could possibly get started on writing a new method into the dialing program that would allow us to regularly use eight chevrons.”
“Doesn’t that need more power?” Jack raised his eyebrows. “You know, Carter, our bills are high enough as it is…”
“It does, and the ideal source would be a ZPM,” Sam said, rolling her eyes at his last comment. “But it’s possible to work out another way. And of course, another galaxy would mean possibly thousands more permutations to be entered into the database.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it. Right now why don’t you get started on that program…”
“Yessir.”
That night Sam called Pete and they talked for roughly half an hour, though Sam didn’t try dropping any hints and Pete didn’t seem to realize he was the one carrying on the conversation. After the entirely pointless, in her opinion, talk, she hung up the phone. Minutes later her doorbell rang.
“Sir!” She was surprised to see Jack standing on her front porch, and immediately stepped aside to let him.
“Hey, Carter,” Jack stuck his hands in his pockets, trying not to sound too jumpy. “Just stopping by to see how things were going.”
Sam raised an eyebrow. She knew what this was about. Jack had seen her less than three hours ago. He knew perfectly well how things were going. “You want to know if I’ve talked to Pete yet?”
Jack shrugged. “I don’t really care. Like I said, it’s your life…”
“I sort of have.”
“Sort of?”
“Truth is,” Sam sighed heavily. “I can’t seem to find the right words to tell him that I can’t marry him because I’m in love with someone else.”
“Yeah…I could see how that would be tough.”
Sam scowled at him then threw her arms up in the air. “I don’t know…I don’t know how to go about doing this…” She gave Jack a despairing look. “I’m not used to doing stuff this life impacting!”
Jack blinked at her a moment, then laughed. “Carter! You blew up a sun and you’re telling me that breaking up with your fiancée is hard?”
“That was different!” Sam argued. “I felt absolutely no pity for that sun! Cus it’s not like I hate Pete…I just don’t…love him…”
“Sam, relax. If this is what you’re really meant to do, you’ll find the right way to do it.” He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Just take your time. No one is rushing you…at least, not intentionally.” He smiled. “Anyway, I should leave you alone, and its late…so goodnight, fair Samantha.”
Sam rolled her eyes as she saw him out the door. Before walking away, Jack lingered on the porch with Sam. He turned to face her, putting his hand on her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. For a second Sam’s heart began thudding painfully in her chest, but Jack merely gave her one of his adorable little smiles before turning and walking down the front walk. Sam sighed, and closed the door.
“I bet you think you’re so smooth, don’t you?”
Jack hadn’t even made it to the sidewalk. He glanced up to see Pete standing there, looking upset.
“Shanahan,” Jack said. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“I could say the same about you,” Pete took a step forward. “Bit late to be consulting Sam about her latest mission, isn’t it?”
“Not really. Not for her.” Jack was trying to sound casual. “She’s usually up all night anyhow.” Pete gave him a strange look, and only then did Jack realize the possible implications of what he said. He waved his hand. “Don’t read too much into that, Shanahan.”
“Look, just back off, ok?” Pete was practically nose-to-nose with Jack, though it didn’t exactly have the effect he was looking for.
Jack snorted. “It’s hard to back off when you’re not doing anything.”
“Don’t give me that!” Pete snapped. “Sam all of the sudden decides to postpone the wedding, and all of the sudden she’s being short with me and acting like there’s something she’s not telling me. I don’t know what goes on at that top-secret base you’ve got, but whatever’s happening between you…”
“I’m her commanding officer…you have any idea what that means?” Jack gave Pete one last annoyed look, before turning and heading to his car.
Pete narrowed his eyes at the general’s retreating back. “Oh, I know exactly what that means…” He stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes before walking up the front walk and ringing Sam’s doorbell.
Sam looked surprised. “Pete, hi! What – “
“We need to talk.”
“Yeah,” Sam looked down at her feet. “Yeah we do.” The two of them moved to sit on the front steps, turning slightly to face each other.
Sam opened her mouth, but Pete cut her off. “Don’t start by telling me that I can find someone better than you, because I can’t.”
“You could find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved,” Sam said quietly. Pete looked at her, a stricken expression in his eyes. For a moment Sam thought she’d been too harsh, but quickly suppressed the feeling.
“Its him, isn’t it?” Pete asked, his voice choked with tears. “There’s something in him that you obviously don’t see in me.” He shook his head and moved to stand up. “Well I’m sorry…” He paused and looked down as Sam slipped her engagement ring off and handed it to him. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted.” He closed his hand, pressing the ring into his palm.
Sam blinked, surprised by his calmness. “That’s it?”
“That’s it?” For a second, Pete seemed to loose it. “What do you want me to do, get down on my knees and beg? Is that what your other boyfriends did when you broke up with them?”
“Oh God no, Pete- ”
He held up his hand. “Goodbye, Sam.”
“Pete…”
But he just shook his head, standing up and walking slowly off into the night. Sam watched him go then lowered her face to her hands, trying hard to hold back the tears that came eventually anyway.
The next morning the sky above Colorado Springs was covered with a layer of dark gray clouds. The scent of rain was heavy in the air, and the whole world seemed to fizzle with the charge of lightning. Even deep within Cheyenne Mountain, the feel of an impending storm was present.
Jack sat with SG-1 at their usual table for lunch. The three men chatted away happily, though Sam said nothing, instead just staring down at her food and not meeting anyone’s gaze.
“Hey, Carter, everything ok?” Jack asked quietly while Daniel and Teal’c were busy discussing Jupiter.
Sam gave a listless little half-shrug.
“Carter…” Jack reached out and lightly touched her shoulder, but Sam jerked away from his touch. Still not looking at him, she stood up and walked out of the commissary.
Daniel frowned. “What’s wrong with Sam?”
“No idea,” Jack and Daniel exchanged a worried look.
Teal’c stood up, finally, bowing to his comrades. “I will go speak with Colonel Carter.” Clasping his hands behind his back, he too strode out into the hall.
Sam went all the way up to the surface to stand in the entrance of the complex, watching the airmen patrolling there. She could feel the heavy moisture on her skin and knew that the storm was fast approaching.
“Colonel Carter.”
Sam glanced over as Teal’c stepped up to her side. She looked back up at the sky. “I don’t need to talk, Teal’c.”
“I believe that you do.” Teal’c replied, arching one eyebrow slightly. “Something troubles you.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Does it concern Pete Shanahan?”
Sam gave Teal’c an odd look. “Yeah…I broke up with him.”
“Do you regret your decision?”
“No…It was just hard.” Sam sighed heavily, looking skyward once again. A raindrop landed on her face, running down her cheek like a solitary tear.
“I believe General O’Neill cares for you a great deal,” Teal’c said quietly after a few minutes.
Sam frowned at him slightly.
The faintest hint of a smile played over the Jaffa’s features. “It is the opinion of myself and Daniel Jackson, that you and O’Neill are very aptly suited for one another.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “You guys’ve been talking about me?”
“Indeed.”
Sam tried to be angry, but for some reason she ended up smiling and thanking Teal’c instead. He bowed his head in response, then watched curiously as Sam stepped out from under the shelter of the entrance tunnel into the rain that was now pouring down. Holding her arms out she let her head fall back and closed her eyes, allowing the rain to wash over her.
Teal’c tilted his head to one side. Humans certainly were strange beings.
Chapter 6: Life is Like a Box of Loopholes
In his time as commander of the SGC, Jack had learned to loath the stacks of mission folders that would inevitably pile up on his desk any time he turned his back for more than five minutes. He’d spent the entire morning reviewing mission reports, commenting on them, and sending them on their merry way to be filed off in some storage room. All of this put him in a rather grumpy mood, so he responded harshly when someone knocked on his office door.
“Come.”
“Are you busy?” Sam stuck her head in.
“Yes, as a matter-” Jack looked up and saw who it was. “Oh, Carter, come in.” he looked despairingly at the mission folders. “I’m actually quite happy for an excuse to stop.”
“So…” Sam sat down. “I just wanted to apologize for ignoring you yesterday…”
Jack waved his hand dismissively. “Carter, it’s ok. We all have days like that.”
“I broke up with Pete.”
“I know,” Jack said quietly, nodding. “Teal’c told me.”
There was a long silence through which Jack and Sam just stared at each other across the desk.
“Yesterday,” Jack said, clearing his throat, “I sent a letter to Hammond, letting him know that I was retiring. He, however, being the dear old friend that he is, pushed some buttons. The government decided that valuable as I am to the program, I’d be more than fit to be a civilian commander.” He chuckled, sounding rather pleased with himself.
“They’re actually letting you get away with that, sir?” Sam asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Yep, so you can loose the ‘sir’, Carter.” Jack grinned at her. “This government is founded on the assumption that there’ll always be a handy loophole here when you need it.” Sam laughed, and Jack gave her a sideways look before continuing. “Anyway, Hammond’s stopping by later today, did you know that?”
“I didn’t.”
“Yeah, I thought we could have a little reception party for him in the briefing room,” Jack said thoughtfully. “You know…wine…cake…remembrances of the old days when you were still a wee little captain puking from your first trip through the gate…”
Sam was sorely tempted to throw the model airplane at Jack, but the grin on his face was far too contagious.
“Well, Jack, I have to say you’re doing a great job of running the place,” Hammond said appreciatively. They were sitting in Jack’s office after the party, and the former commander of the SGC was looking rather comfortable back in his old surroundings.
“I don’t think I could ever take your place completely, General.”
Hammond chuckled. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about this whole retirement thing.”
“It’s still going through, isn’t it?” Jack’s eyes widened slightly.
“It is,” Hammond assured him with a nod. “And I’ve made my guesses on why it is you’re doing this, but I just wanted to know if I’ve guessed correctly.” His eyes sparkled. “It’s about Colonel Carter, isn’t it?”
“Oh fer cryin’ out loud! Am I that readable?” Jack cried, leaning back in his chair suddenly. “First Danny and T, now you. Has the president guessed it too?”
“Not to my knowledge, no. But Jack,” Hammond was suddenly serious again. “I hope you know what you’re getting into. You and Colonel Carter are two of the most prized and respected members of this establishment…you won’t be able to keep this on the low down and eyebrows will be raised.”
“Yeah well, the people round here need to learn to grow up. It’s not like I’m doing regular field work anymore or anything.” Jack sighed heavily, running his hands over his face. “I know I know, I’ll have to be harder on her than the rest, nothing that’ll look like I’m showing favoritism. I’ve got it, George.”
“Good.” Hammond smiled, then glanced down at his watch. “I’d better be going, my
transport back to the airport will be here shortly.” He and Jack shook hands. “It was nice seeing you again Jack, and I hope everything goes smoothly.”
“Thanks, nice seeing you too.”
Before leaving, Hammond turned and gave Jack a questioning look. “By the way, what does Jacob think of all this?”
“Haven’t talked to him yet,” Jack said, grinning sheepishly. “But he’s due to come in and have another conference with us about this new goa’uld that’s shown up, so I’ll probably talk to him then.”
“Good.”
“Great,” Sam said, leaning back in her chair as her father finished telling them about how Jupiter was slowly encroaching on planets along the outer edge of the galaxy. “So this new goa’uld is trying to take over the galaxy and…Dad I need to talk to you.”
Jacob looked surprised. “What? Sam…we’re in the middle of a briefing.”
“Actually,” Jack looked around. “I think we’re done here. So you two run along.”
“Jack,” Sam gave him a meaningful look.
“What? Oh…” Jack suddenly found it very difficult to look Jacob in the eye. Slowly standing up he motioned for the two to follow him. “Step into my office, Carters.”
As the three left the room, Daniel and Teal’c exchanged a look, and settled back in their chairs at the briefing table to watch the scene through the window in Jack’s office.
Jacob turned around, eyeing his daughter and Jack standing shoulder to shoulder. “Why am I getting déjà vu here?”
Sam shifted nervously from foot to foot. Jacob looked at them both expectantly.
“Okkkayyy, I definitely do not like awkward silences,” Jack said finally, clapping his hands together.
Suddenly Ahmnen spoke out. “My host is wondering whether or not he can trust you with his daughter.”
“Jacob!” Jack put a hand to his chest in mock offence. “I’m hurt! I’ve only been watching her six for the past seven years.”
“Actually I think that’s the other way around,” Sam corrected.
“No, Carter,” Jack muttered out of the corner of his mouth. “I have most definitely been watching your ass for the past seven years.”
“Jack I may be old but I still have perfectly good hearing!” Jacob snapped, folding his arms. He got an odd expression on his face, then shook his head. “Sorry, Ahmnen’s making fun of this whole thing.”
Jack looked at him expectantly. “Well?” He slipped an arm around Sam’s waist, drawing her closer to him.
As Jacob watched, Sam turned and gave Jack the briefest of smiles. In that small fraction of a second her eyes shone with something that he’d never seen there before. Jacob smiled, convinced that his little girl had found her happy ending…