Ways To Know You've Been In Guard Too Long


These are all ways to tell that perhaps you've been in Color Guard tooooo long. If you have more please e-mail me at the address on my home page.

  1. You walk in step to all the music you hear.
  2. You can catch everything that's thrown at you.
  3. You can smile genuinely on command.
  4. You can spin everything in sight (pencils, brooms, pool cues...).
  5. Your parents lock up all the brooms/pool cues/umbrellas/etc.
  6. You have permanent rifle bruises on your left and right thumbs.
  7. You get ecstatic when you hear a song you've done a routine to.
  8. You go to competitions for the sole purpose of finding a date from another marching band.
  9. You're constantly involved in fundraisers. (wanna buy a candy bar?)
  10. When you choose a college based on the guard programs nearby.
  11. You point your toes in your sleep
    12. You spend 4-5 hours of your day practicing on spinning.
  12. You can change, go to the bathroom, and go to your locker in 3.5 minutes.
  13. Your light fixture in your room is permanently broken.
  14. You take over guys bathroom when the girls bathroom is full.
  15. You go to attention when someone claps at you in the hallways.
  16. You know that "one more time" really means 5 more times.
  17. You're constantly running out of White-Out covering the marks on the walls and ceiling from the rifle you WEREN'T spinning in the house...
  18. Five hours of practice is a blessing.
  19. You dance down the hallways at school.
  20. You know that a five minute break really equals 2.5 minutes.
  21. You jazz walk/run home, to the mall, etc...
  22. You can't watch someone else spin next to you without spinning yourself.
  23. You know the perfect spot for a toss in your favorite songs.
  24. The phrase, "free time" has lost all meaning to you.
  25. You go out in public wearing practice clothes, and wonder why people look at you funny.
  26. You've seen 3 in the morning.
  27. You've dated/had a crush on a trumpet player.
  28. The band room becomes your home away from home.
  29. You can arm wrestle and band/drama/choir/cheerleading member and always win.
  30. You leave a pillow and blanket in the guard room, just in case.
  31. When people on TV march, you cringe if they're out of step.
  32. Every song you hear becomes a possible flag routine.
  33. Your personal motto is "Guard is Life."
  34. Your nails never extend the tips of your fingers.
  35. You refuse to graduate.
  36. You have a closet full of old guard uniforms, whether you wore them or not.
  37. The entire band has seen you without pants on.
  38. You become your own pharmacist.
  39. You went to all the school football games but never paid for one.
  40. You have a drawer full of guard tee-shirts.
  41. You're the last people to hear about the pep rally and the first people to perform in it.
  42. You know where everything is in the first aid kit.
  43. You've slept in the band room.
  44. You could make one of these lists with little to no effort.
  45. You try more stunts than the cheerleaders.
  46. You've run more laps than the track team.
  47. You know how to manage 9 girls and 1 bathroom.
  48. Life? What is that?
  49. The smell of sunscreen reminds you of band camp.
  50. You have an excuse for everything.
  51. You've done more push-ups than the football team.
  52. Four and a half hours of sleep before competition is lucky.
  53. You spend all your free time looking at guard-related websites.
  54. You have your own color guard website!


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