Mouse click for a Toothpick
The other day, I
got a toothache. I was at my friend's place and just finished a snack, when a
sharp and persistent irritation began at the back of my mouth. Something had
possibly, or rather probably gotten stuck somewhere between the teeth in the
bottom row. I asked my friend for a toothpick.
"Are you
crazy?", He exclaimed "You are not even sure what it is and you need
a toothpick! Don't you know toothpicks can lead to oral cancer?"
"Who told you
this rubbish?" I asked
"I read it on
the internet."
I thanked my friend
for being up-to-date with the latest medical findings and enquired so as to
know how to proceed.
"You live in
this digital era and how dare you ask such a stupid question? It is an insult
to our accomplishments. Don't you know that the easiest way out for you is
through the net?"
I have seen
pictures of boxing gloves come out of monitors and knock off a user's
tooth but never a patient arm with a toothpick volunteering to aid an ailing
one. However unable to convince the stubborn host I half-heartedly agreed to
try it out his way.
We went to the
computer room and dialed. Only a series of error messages appeared. ‘The
Line is busy’, ‘The connection could not be established-
Error-AS786040D0070’. After tinkering for around 20 minutes we got the
connection. Then the name of a popular search engine was typed in. Only more
error messages appeared - 'Cannot find server', 'The page cannot be
displayed'.
“Gimme a sec. We’ll
get it”, my friend said.
All the good things
in life take a little time. That should be applied here also. When you can have
the world at your fingertips a few minutes should not be a problem. Fair
enough. But at the moment I would have preferred a toothpick to the world to be
at my fingertips!
Meanwhile the site
appeared. The word tooth was searched for-
"46
categories and 1664 sites for tooth"
"See how vast
the World Wide Web is", my friend remarked. We scanned through the page of
matches
"TOOTH -
Taliban Organisation Of Terrorist Health - An extensive network dedicating to
releafing of our brave comrades fighting with bad weather. Sometimes their
temperature is -15°c and some time it go up to 45. Using online Internet
connection our soldier ask doctors when they sick or get hurt. Our doctors
treat them when they are healthy. "
"Not
bad", remarked the friend, "I didn't know such a thing ever
existed."
It was good to know
even people in remote and uncivilised places could harness the use of modern
technology, whatever be their use with it. Nevertheless, I did not favour the
idea that the Taliban doctors help me clear my tooth.
We moved on to the
next match.
"The
California museum of TOOTH art - Extensive collection of paint and tattoo work
that the Chinese royalty got done on their TOOTH in the 8th century A.D. Also
featuring carvings and sculpture that the Romans did on broken TOOTH"
I informed my
friend I was not presently interested in patronising this fashion.
"Join the
34TOOTHed club - Modern plastic surgery enables the implantation of two extra
teeth through a minor procedure. Now you have 34 teeth instead of the usual 32.
This enables greater chewing efficiency, oral digestion and helps you eat
faster. Get more news about this procedure - costs, clinics in your locality,
after effects etc. Chat with the 34 TOOTHed and know how they feel. For all
this and more click on the link"
Reading all this
did increase my toothache. But I did join my friend in marveling the
advancements of medical science and how it helps us solve our problems and
prolong our lives. Further down there were still more sites, though not all
that helpful to the present crisis, they provided vital information. "Read
about the TOOTHed whales at Discovery online","Buy the TOOTHpick,
Clarke Gable used in 'Gone with the wind' on auction online",”Listen to
Indian folk mp3s- ‘Aye jawaano TOOTHak TOOTHak TOOTHian’” ,"What happened
to the saber TOOTHed tiger?", "News on Britney Spears' missing
TOOTH", "Activities of the TOOTH foundation"," Monkeys that
brush their teeth", "Developments of the Taliban Organisation Of
Terrorist Health"- On seeing that I decided to read on no more.
By the greatest act
of mercy ever by the almighty there came a power cut at this moment. My
friend solemnly informed me with sincere apologies that he could help me no
further. I told him it was all right. Then I thanked him for everything and
requested my leave. Seeing me off he said, "See didn't I tell you the
Internet was the right place. Now we have gained so much more information in
such a short time. Is this possible elsewhere?"
True enough. Where
else could you get such valuable information? Which other form of media could
pour down so many facts, from science, history, current affairs and politics on
any subject you choose. Truly, no other development in the history of human
race was so beneficial. I wanted to tell my friend all this and more but could
not due to overpowering toothache and the yearning for a single toothpick.
