New Hat. New Tan.
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Oi...I just got home from Tennessee and Indiana, and my week is already looking shady. Its nice to have something wonderful to come home to. So Tennessee was fun. Jamie is still a slut. Hah..I love her...shes my slut...mmmmhmmm. Basically we got drunk most days and passed out on the lake. Nothing like a little vacation to ease my spirits. So I got a little case of swimmers ear while I was down south. Mmmmmmhmm. I have just recently gotten over that, and lemme tell you, it was fun. So then I come home go back to work and guess what. Guess fuckin what. My dad is taking us to court, cause he doesn't wanna pay for us anymore. Basically thats bullshit. He can tithe religiously 10%, and not think twice about it, but me and Ben's education...mmmm....no...I don't think so. I hope he is satisfied with God saving him, cause in the meanwhile he is making his children despise him. Like not to be greedy, but like dad makes us feel like shit. Like he is the one that makes it about money. He made me feel like shit everyday of my life last year over money. I couldnt't care less about it, its how he treats us. Its how he chooses my step mom over us. I don't need or want to go to court. Dad is just being stupid. Like this doesn't work for anyone. He wants to drop my brother off of insurance. Good idea...except....my step dad can't pick my brother up. Soooooo..what now...my brother gets his own health insurance, or he goes without. My brother has fuckin epilepsy..thats not a cheap disease exactly. I'm just so pist. The only reason he keeps me around most likely is cause I am a $5000 tax write off. Gr. I wouldn't say if it ai didn't believe it to be true. So anyway, I am heading out..
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Heylo. My ear huwts, oi I was about to bust out in this old cheer I knew when I was like 5, but then I realized the only part I remember is my back aches. So nuff of that. 7 days till I turn 19, please think of me on the 12th of August, as it is a wonderful day for a wonderful girl. ;p Also, I am sitting here and relizing that I don't have a clue why I am updating, as I have absolutely nothing to say. So we are gonna wing it. I figured out what to do for my dad's birthday. I actually need to work on that as that day is only 5 short days from today. Also convieniently enough I only have 5 more days of pizza pit. Hooray. Its really not THAT bad, just bad enough to make me wanna scream from time to time...thats all. For all those of you who care...I work till the 10th. I will be in Indiana the 11th through the 13th or 14th (not sure yet), I am going to Minnesota the 14th? to ??. Then I leave for school the 29th I think. So if anyone is curious to my wherabouts check here please. ;D
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So its another one of those weeks. Ya know....if I had known things were gonna be like this...I would have never come home from vacation. What the fuck is wrong with me?! No wait....nevermind, I already know...its getting over it I just can't seem to grasp. I want to be in a relationship. I like the relationship I am in right now actually. But like when I get into them...I then realize why it is that I shouldn't be in them. Like and its never something that I understand. I like come up with all these reasons...like everything that is wrong, until it totally consumes me and I can't take it anymore, and in all reality, I am the only thing that is ever wrong. Just saying that makes me tear up, but god damnit, its. so. true. I hate this, I hate being the person I am, I hate being like this, and knowing how utterly stupid it is, but theres no way around it. Whats the issue this week Johnny?! TRUST. Oooo..now that is a good one. Not that Jough has done ANYTHING at all to break my trust, but for some reason, I am just looking for the slightest nudge of something that he may be decieving me? Why do you ask? Well that one is easy enough...I am totally fucked up. So I lay low and I try and steer clear of him so I don't fuck it up, and then he thinks he did something wrong...or God knows what. I don't know why he just doesn't turn around and run away, I hope he realizes that nothing with me...especially happiness....comes as easy as it is...or should. But anyway, I am gonna end this one and go start on my dads birthday present while im depressed and shit. And Jough...if and when you read this..I am sorry, and its nothing you've done...and I am not just saying that.