Once there was a girl named April Showers.
Once there was a girl named May Flowers.
Once there was a girl named June Bugs.

April Showers, May Flowers, and June Bugs. Sound familiar? Well, maybe not the LAST one but oh well.

Anyway, to save the trouble of writing out the whole names over and over again, I'll use abbreviations. April Showers = AS, May Flowers = MF, June Bugs = JB. On second thought, forget it. Who cares if I get writer's cramp and become seriously depressed? Not. Well, I'll just use the first names. (Just great. This was a useless paragraph.)

So April, May, and June were friends who hung out with each other a lot. I mean, A LOT. It was as if they were sisters. Actually, they WERE sisters but who cares? That's classified information. You shouldn't be hearing this. Well, April, May, and June would have had a happier, better life over their farm life had it not been for the disaster their names caused them. And who gave them these names? The one and only One Namer.

Long, long ago, there was a - What? Okay, okay. I'll get to the point. The One Namer gives creatures their names. Unfortunately, the One Namer is constantly under a lot of stress. Yes, naming is fun, but not when you must name millions after millions of new creatures in the world. There are only so reasonable combinations of letters in the language. So from time to time, the One Namer is forced to give strange or irrelevant names. And from time to time, those unfortunate ill-named ones get seriously pissed off and misuse the fair suing system. And what's about to happen to the One Namer is not going to help the One Namer's accumulating problems.

Well April, May, and June had problems when they where in conversations. Here's how one of them would go.

El Passerby: �Hola, amigas!

OOPS!!! Wrong country. Hold on.
Okay. Here we go.

Passerby: Hey girls! I'm from the Department of Non-Government-Owned Farms Organization, also known as DONG-OFO.

April: Okay...

Passerby: Really. I've been summoned to this part of the country to survey the personal techniques of farmers nationwide for our new book, Farming And Rotation Techniques.

May: You mean "rotation" as in crop rotation?

June: Hey. Doesn't Farming And Rotation Techniques abbreviate as-

Passerby: And because you were the first farmers I saw, you three, according to the rules, get a million dollars each. Just don't give me a hard time with the questions, okay? Here's my first question. It's a bit irrelevant but I must follow the protocol. How long have you been in farming?

April: Um. Basically all our lives?

Passerby: Oh. I pity you.

April: Go screw yourself.

Passerby: Right... Anyway, now I'm going to move on the crop rotation questionnaire. Each of you state both your names and year of rotation for your fields.

April: April. And I rotate my crops in-

June: June. That's me. Rotation of crops in-

May: My name is-

April: June! I remember now. June!

May: May. And I rotate my crops in-

June: April! That's it. April!

Passerby: Woah, woah, wait a minute-

June: Hold on, I think it's June.

Passerby: What?

April: No! That's my rotation. Yours is in-

May: I rotate my crops in

Passerby: Uh...huh...Um, and state the

April: May. That's when yours is, June. May. Right, May?

May: Yes, April.

April: No, it's May, not April.

May: No I meant 'Yes, April' as in April the person.

June: Hold on, I'm confused.

Passerby: So am I.

May: Um, let me speak please, people. I rotate my crops in-

April: Oh I thought you meant April. Like the month.

June: But it's May. Don't you know what month it is?

April: That's not what we're talking about right now.

Passerby: You're sure right about THAT. All I was asking was a simple question. Now May, when do you rotate your crops, which ever one of you is May.

June: May.

April: No that's yours, June. Hers is April.

June: No it's not.

Passerby: So you're May?

April: No, she's June.

May: April.

Passerby: What?

May: That's my rotation month.

June: No, May. It isn't. It's in June.

April: No, June, you idiot. That's mine.

Passerby: I CAN'T STAND YOU THREE ANYMORE! I'm leaving!