Once upon a time, a young man named Hans invented a time machine. It was a magnificent work of science, perfected over years of meticulous care, that had the potential to revolutionize the world.

But Hans was too terrified to risk himself in an experimental travel through time. He considered other people, but quickly found himself immensely concerned about the ramifications of leaving the state of the future and past to the hands of an individual he could not control.

So after days of indecisiveness, he chose to play it safe and sent a hard cube of yellow cheese through his machine and into the depths of time-space.

He waited.

And waited.

And after three days, he gave up in frustration and deactivated his time machine.

Then he turned around, and slipped on a hard cube of yellow cheese that had materialized out of time-space from three days ago. Then he died from the fall.

And the time machine rotted in the basement, but not as quickly as the hard cube of yellow cheese.